Individuality

Individuality

People are individuals.  Regrettably, many people yield to the prejudicial tendency of lumping people into groups.  Labels describing race, religion, sex, creed, politics and other affiliations suffice in telling us who people are.  Moreover, we prefer people fit comfortably into the boxes we assign them.  However, if we take time to talk with people and hear their stories, we realize no one ever fits our prevalent stereotypes.  Life’s choices, challenges and circumstances of life are far too complex to characterize any unique person with fallacious generalities.  As people are individuals, they deserve the time it requires to get to know them.

Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed of a day when people would be judged by the content of their characters rather than the color of their skin.  We cannot make assumptions about someone based upon external indicators.  Because we share a racial heritage, religious beliefs, similar profession or other qualities with another person does not mean we know him or her.  Actually, we know very little about the rudiments of his or her life.  We know people as we observe their characters and principles in a moral crisis or ethically quandary.  We learn who they are as they demonstrate their values through their choices.  The color of a person’s skin reveals very little about whether that individual possesses genuine consideration for poor people, racial minorities and other vulnerable citizens who have been historically oppressed by the dominant culture.

The Lord Jesus Christ says a tree is known by the fruit that it bears.  Someone calling with juicy, backbiting and scurrilous news about another person automatically tells you more about the caller than the object of his or her scorn.  As it relates to knowing people, actions do indeed speak louder than words.  People tell you who they are through their deeds more so than their words.  Additionally, trustworthy and faithful people demonstrate their potential to be friends.  They bear the fruit of confidentiality, kindness and love.

Carl G. Jung defined the process of individuation as acceptance of one’s unique personality.  It entails maturity of character as your words and deeds cohere.  More significantly, it involves discovery of the divine spark God graciously gives each person.  Self-acceptance empowers us to be true to ourselves.  It also enables us to live consistently with our values; essentially, individuation results in integrity and wholeness.

Remaining within the squalor of prejudices shortchanges our ability to cultivate genuine and lifelong friends.  Because people are individuals, we must get to know them as unique persons with distinct personalities.  Interestingly, the people who share our outward similarities are often least like us as it relates to values, worldview and priorities.  All Black people do not engage the struggle for justice and equality.  All White people are not racist.  No one race has a monopoly on greed.  Yet, if we persist in defining people in these superficial ways, then we will miss the blessing of many unique individuals who will bring extraordinary richness to our lives.

Forfeiting genuine and trustworthy love is the greatest loss for those persons who insist upon labeling people.  Love does not always fit into neat categories of race, class, education, religion and ethnicity.  Some of the most passionate and enduring marriages include men and women whom the “standards” of society would never have chosen for each other.  These socio-economic and socio-religious hybrids create very loving families.  As two loving individuals covenant to grow together, they build a healthy, reliable and enduring relationship regardless of their external qualities.

Essentially, people are individuals and deserve grace and consideration for their particular personalities.  If we must judge others, then let us heed the recommendation of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Examine the content of character instead of the color of skin.  Look to the fruit of a person’s actions rather than the poetry of his or her words.  As we listen to a person’s story and perhaps walk a mile in his shoes, then we really come to know him.  In most instances, we realize we have a new friend.