"God Sees Your Potential"

 “God Sees Your Potential”

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  (1 Samuel 16:7)  A twenty-first century layperson’s translation of that Ancient Near East Hebrew verse reads “God sees your potential.”  Far too often, people judge others on the basis of their clothing, style, mannerisms and other external factors.  This tendency motivates some people to cultivate a public persona designed to gain concessions from people with whom they work and interact.  Some persons spend years developing their likability as they know people ignore shortcomings and failures of people whom they like.  Conversely, people will not extend an ounce of sympathy or the benefit of the doubt toward someone they dislike regardless of his expertise and competence.  They will criticize perpetually his actions as well as doggedly scrutinize his intentions.  Despite his genuine motives, he will not find understanding amongst a group of people who dislike him.  Nonetheless, he finds solace in affirming this maxim, “God sees your potential.”

A clergy colleague shared in a recent sermon his rather difficult experience of transitioning into the position of senior pastor at a local church in the Southwest.  Known for its cosmopolitanism and open-minded outlook relating to social relationships, this area of the country prides itself in appreciating racial, cultural, ethnic and creedal pluralism.  Across these traditional social barriers, churches in this part of the United States brag of their ability to exist and expand with racially diverse leaders and congregants.  To my colleague’s great chagrin, many persons left the church when he became pastor following the arduous but necessary removal of his predecessor.  Many persons who left in that exodus actually were unable or unwilling to follow the leadership of a biracial pastor.  Compounding that injury, many persons who remained began to distance themselves and severely second-guess his motives and decisions.  Many of these people previously had been stalwart “friends” when he served as an assistant pastor.  Now, he arrives each Sunday without knowing who his friends are and who genuinely supports him.  Not surprisingly, the decline in membership resulted in residual decreases in programs and finances.  As fear solidified throughout the congregation and panic ensued, many congregants began to whisper about their pastoral search process. 

To combat this negativity, my colleague retreats to the safety and security of the foregoing verse.  He knows his heart’s desire to serve humbly and genuinely as pastor to his congregants even if they do not appreciate him.  Despite lingering doubts and persistent whispers about his incapacities, my colleague perseveres with a sincere heart and the full assurance of Almighty God’s faithfulness toward him.  Realizing God sees his potential, my clergy colleague steadfastly takes the next right steps in fulfilling the missional vision God imparts daily.  His current vocational challenge fosters great resilience within his character.  He simply must find means and methods of success regardless of whether he is popular within the congregation.  He cannot allow fears and misgivings of naysayers to deter him.

My colleague’s trials and tribulations remind me of three biblical characters whose examples demonstrate practical and effective means of surmounting communal doubt and second-guessing.  In his early military career, David zealously leads a campaign to conquer one of Israel’s fiercest adversaries.  Drunken with plans for success, David inadvertently fails to protect the home front from wanton attack.  He leaves women and children unguarded.  Not surprisingly, unsuspecting marauders stumble upon these helpless victims and carry them away while David and his men fight elsewhere.  Upon their return, they discover the results of their blindness as all of their wives and children have been carried away as prisoners of war.  The biblical writer records the ghastly and unimaginable scene of grown and bulky, victorious soldiers weeping bitterly for their hearts’ most precious treasure. (1 Samuel 30)  Moreover, these embittered and furious men talk of stoning David, their leader because of his costly oversight.  In response to their cries for their beloved wives and children and their thirst for his punishment, David encourages himself in the Lord.  He retreats to the secret place of God’s shadow where David prays for guidance and relief.

Job pleads with his sanctimonious “friends” for patience as God’s will unfolds in response to Job’s recent tragic loss of his children and property.  His friends who supposedly arrive to comfort Job insist that he must confess his hidden sin as an act of true repentance in order to alleviate Job’s pain and suffering.  Doggedly, Job refuses to comply with their wishes as he maintains his righteousness.  His friends then accuse Job of arrogance.  As they banter back and forth, Job again asks for their patience.  “But He knoweth the way I take; when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”  Possibly, Job’s plea to his friends immortally expresses your requests to anyone who doubts you.  It will take time to burn the dross away as God refines your character.  My colleague offers this assurance to the people whom he serves as he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that God certainly called and installed him as their pastor.  Hopefully, they will acquire humility and patience to wait upon God as my colleague matures into the pastor whom God approves.

Finally, the apostle Peter clearly reflects the spiritual fact that God sees our potential.  God’s unfailing love extends beyond Peter’s character defects of impulsivity, anger, misguided zeal, selfishness and denial.  Although Peter pledges his intention to die for Christ, Peter denies Christ three times and deserts Him in His hour of need.  Peter’s fears overwhelm his good intentions.  Seemingly, Peter is a weak man who will assuredly fail in any undertaking as he lacks strength of character.  Yet, in a post-resurrection scene, John 21:15-23, the Lord demonstrates His unfailing love of Peter and clear intention of focusing upon the heart of everyone.  He concentrates upon Peter’s love of Him.  Peter’s love surmounts his fear.  Accordingly, the Lord knows that Peter’s love combined with the Holy Spirit will enable Peter to fulfill his destiny and purpose.  Likewise, the Lord looks deeply into your heart and focuses upon your love and desires which will empower you to accomplish your dreams, goals and hopes.  He looks beyond your current limitations and sees your future potential, as you humbly and willingly ask for His wisdom.

"You Never Find Yourself Until You Face the Truth"

 “You Never Find Yourself Until You Face the Truth”

This quote by Pearl Bailey hints toward the most effective means of self-acceptance.  The self-help sections of many book stores increases exponentially each year.  Once, a very small area containing a maximum of three shelves in any nook of the store adjacent to the Psychology and Religion sections, self-help books contemporarily command many more shelves of space.  The growth of this literature signals American preoccupation with individualism in its myriad formulations of the self-made man, pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, relentlessly pursuing the American dream, variations of Horatio Algiers “rags to riches” stories and iterations of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.  This burgeoning multi-billionaire dollar niche of publishing presumes mental, emotional and psychological health are prerequisites to achieving success, excellence and happiness.  You discover your uniqueness holds the key to inimitable joy and wholeness in life.  However, Bailey’s aphorism stipulates a commonsensical approach to attaining wellness, healing and wholeness.  To live the life you imagine; experience unconditional self-acceptance and live authentically as a unique person, you acknowledge both poles of your character: assets and liabilities, strengths and weaknesses, light and dark, talents and deficiencies.  Recognizing these hard truths is the non-negotiable means of discovering who you are.

Repeated collisions with life’s proverbial brick walls possibly indicate a resistance to engaging the rigorous yet rewarding process of self-discovery.  However excruciating; self-examination is an important spiritual discipline.  Self- examination is essential to finding yourself.  Before beginning your morning routine of hygiene, look forcefully into the mirror and listen for the voices that resound between your ears.  Chances are the Goliath of your current fears awoke before you did.  Whether financial challenges due to debt or simply living beyond your means or stomach curdling angst about your ability to surmount a task at work or a lingering deficiency within a primary relationship, penetrating and paralyzing fears greet you each morning.  Will you face them today?  Will you fight?  Do you possess willingness to combat this pervasive enemy who threatens perpetually your mental and emotional well-being?  Will you surrender again today and negotiate a truce that allows you to put on a mask and leave your home?  Straightforwardly accepting your raw and unvarnished fears is a primary step toward self-discovery and self-acceptance.

Beyond defining your fears and resolving to eliminate them, taking an inventory of your character is an effective means of finding your authentic self.  The recovery community especially recommends this spiritual discipline of listing your assets and liabilities.  “The Parable of The Talents” (Matthew 24:14-30) and similar sacred literature of the other major world religions teach the graciousness of Almighty God in giving each person at least one unique talent.  Unearthing this divine gift within your heart is essential to self-discovery and self-acceptance.  God also provides each person an opportunity to share uniquely His love through an expression of selfless and sacrificial service.  Your talent is the concrete means of doing so.  Whether in a behind-the-scenes and rarely observed blue collar job or within the lofty heights of fame and fortune, your faithful and enduring service to humankind utilizing your divine gift is the surest means of finding yourself.  It is important to demystify the process of self-discovery and determining your divine gifts.  Too often, it is easy to fall prey to the idea that your talent must be grand and worthy of celebrity.  This false notion prevents clarity and causes unnecessary detours.  Possibly, you will waste time zigzagging through a morass of emotional and mental confusion when what you are searching for is right in front of you.  Take time to be still and listen to the internal, still and small voice of clarity.  Your interests and passions are reliable indicators of the divine gifts that lie within you.

The truth is no one is all good or bad.  These polar opposites exist within each person.  As you need clarity about your assets, equal understanding about your liabilities is critical to determining who you are.  A sage reasons “A wise man knows his weaknesses and learns how to guard against them.”  If nothing else, he at least acquires ways of neutralizing his deficiencies; being rigorously honest about defects of character.  A non-negotiable and unconditional prerequisite to long-term sobriety and recovery is an unequivocal admission of your problem with alcohol.  Admitting internal and personal problems is the first step in resolving them. 

Incidentally, a current prevalent view in the corporate community suggests that spending time and energy in eliminating weaknesses is a waste.  Rather, your time is better spent investing in strengthening your assets.  Nevertheless, the process of enumerating your strengths and weaknesses is a practical and pragmatic means of finding yourself as you face the truth about who you are.   

"Your Heart's Desires"

“Your Heart’s Desires” – Psalm 37:4

The Lord will give you the desire to live in right relationship with Him.  Practically speaking, this means leading a moral and ethical life that honors and glorifies Almighty God and respects the dignity of all persons.  It is holiness in its truest sense; devoting your talents, treasure, time and temperament for God’s exclusive purpose and use.  It is an authentic attempt to live in accordance with your cardinal principles.  Instead of maintaining an outward religiosity and adhering to a code of “Dos and Don’ts” with the fallacious hope of quantifying your Christian behavior, you genuinely desire to obey God’s commandments because you love and respect Him.  As you learn from God and glean attributes of His character in right relationship with Him, you develop a sincere desire to please Him.  You freely choose to avoid adverse patterns of behavior that greatly offend God’s holy character.  Beyond ceasing to be sinful, you prefer a lifestyle that encourages and empowers you to become the best child of God of which you are capable.  They further motivate you to remove personal shortcomings that inhibit actualization of your dreams and potential.  Incidentally, many persons do not attain the highest level of their talents because their characters undermine them.  However, should they invest unwaveringly in a vibrant relationship with Almighty God, they achieve success, joy and wholeness as God transforms their heart’s desires into a genuine willingness to serve Him by meeting people’s daily and practical needs.

What does your heart mostly desires?  Were Almighty God to grant your three primary wishes, what would they be?  If you were able to proceed to your ideal job, place of residence and primary relationship without any impediments, what would you be doing, where would you live and with whom would you be in love?  These penetrating questions hint toward your passions and possibly reflect the concrete and incontrovertible desires of your heart.  Consider whether these answers emerge as divine revelation.  Did God give you these desires?

Ponder the miracle of an alcoholic in recovery choosing to forego drinking as a spiritual discipline rather than fighting against a drink.  A drug addict can choose to resist continual addiction as a means of spiritual progress and personal development.  Someone with an eating disorder elects to “stop the madness” and affirm his internal potential and gifts as a child of God instead of progressing toward morbid and fatal obesity.  The power of choice can equally be imparted to any other types of addiction such as gambling, sex, and debt.  Instead of fostering fallacious and inept religious systems seeking personal righteousness, persons suffering in the throes of addiction can receive the miracle of choice from Almighty God.  No human power is able to liberate someone from that prison and ensuing death.  God can give persons who suffer with addiction and myriad other illnesses the desire to stop.  

Desire which equates with the current use of Intention, Intuition and Purpose in spiritual circles is a combination of the mind’s thoughts and heart’s emotions; it is an idea and feeling that connects directly to your character.  What we truly intend to do, we do.  An intention and desire far exceed a fleeting emotion.  Desire is a divinely given impulse and hunch which matures into spiritual resolve which propels successful achievement of a dream.  Whether weight loss and physical fitness, eliminating debt, surmounting insidious and debilitating fears or triumphing daily over multiple addictions, a heartfelt desire empowers you to make cumulative choices toward fulfilling your intention.

As desire is God given and sanctioned, it does not depend on an external formula.  Desire is far more powerful than any external motivations.  Originating from God’s perfect intentions for you, desire forsakes egotism and superfluous self-reliance.  Desire coheres with your character and personality.  It is difficult to separate your desires from your essence; the things you most want to do often equate with the unique contribution you were born to make to the glory of God and in service to humankind.  God’s will for you is the thing that you most want to do of which you are most capable of accomplishing.  Practically speaking, God simultaneously grants you the necessary talents, gifts and abilities to accompany your heartfelt desires.  If your desire is to win one of the Grand Slam tennis championships, then it stands to reason you have been given the natural endowment to accomplish this feat were you to diligently apply yourself.

True essence of character and desire only unfolds within a progressive relationship with God.  He creates us uniquely as science demonstrates and proves via our DNA, hair, fingerprints and teeth.  Spiritually, each person has a unique opportunity to reflect God’s love.  To know your purpose and intention in life, you relate directly and honestly with God relying genuinely upon Him as your Infinite Intelligence and Supply.  Without knowing the desires of your heart, it is unlikely you will find joy, love and wholeness in life.  As you delight yourself in the Lord, He graciously reveals your desires and empowers you to receive them.

"No One Wins a Fight"

“No One Wins a Fight”

“No one wins a fight.”  In the school of hard knocks, I continue to learn the incalculable wisdom of Howard Thurman’s words.  Each fight leaves all participants wounded; no one escapes unscathed.  Righteous indignation hardly salves pain and wounds.  Who wins if everyone is injured during a verbal or physical altercation?  Is it more important to be right than to live in right relationship?  Regardless of the issue, is it worth risking the relationship?  These questions presume you highly prioritize relationships and seek their continual growth and health.  Allowing that people deal in good faith with you, you stand to gain more from a relationship that appreciates over time than winning a machine gun dialogue which wounds anyone within range of your words. 

Legal dramas on television and within movies depict a very false reality.  Litigation never occurs as quickly as Hollywood pretends.  It is very time-consuming and costly.  The range and complexity of emotions are the most expensive aspects of legal proceedings.  They consume an incredible amount of a person’s talent, thinking, energy and focus; all of which could be used for more meaningful purposes.  Lawsuits engender long-term resentments as no one appreciates being sued.  Civil complaints always leave bitterness as plaintiffs and defendants receive the lawsuit as a personal indictment of character.  Any daily episode of The People’s Court substantiates my argument.  Relatives and friends usually remain unwilling to forgive a lawsuit.  Years pass before reconciliation is possible if it ever occurs.  Hence, there are no real winners and losers when people who experience a breakdown in communication, trust and respect resort to fighting whether legally, verbally or physically.

A few years ago I was dismissed summarily from a doctoral degree program because my initial advisor retired and understandably refused to mentor me afterwards.  His successor in the department experienced multiple difficulties with faculty colleagues and administration.  Not surprisingly, he obtained a position at another institution.  The remaining person in the department brilliantly cloaked her dislike and animosity toward me.  Through various duplicitous tactics and deceitful conversations, she effected my dismissal from the program.  I responded by engaging a three-year and hard fought battle to remain in the program.  My appeal letters began with the Associate Dean and ended with the President of the University.  I even wrote the co-chairpersons of the Board of Trustees.  In the end, the box of copies of my letters and supporting documents weighed nearly three pounds and included hundreds of pages.  Additionally, I spent considerable time and bore equal expense consulting with attorneys to ascertain the strength of my case.  I discovered in a comprehensive search of education law cases that courts will not intervene in such matters on behalf of an aggrieved student.  Judges are unwilling to question the decisions of graduate faculty as it relates to whether a person remains in a doctoral program. 

That dreadful and draining experience taught me the wisdom of Thurman’s saying.  Regrettably, my formidable ego sustained my lengthy engagement in this fight.  In retrospect, I realize how damaged I left the ordeal.  The school sided with the faculty member whose shenanigans yielded my dismissal from the program.  None of the lawyers would take my case as they did not deem it was profitable.  In fact, a leading national civil rights firm was adamant in its refusal.  I had to accept a terminal masters degree as a consolation prize for the two years of doctoral coursework, preparation for certification examinations and dissertation proposal that I completed.  Had I not persisted in this ego feeding frenzy, I could have seen how wasteful this fight was.  I should have transferred to another school and found another advisor.  Ironically, in the time I spent fighting to remain in that doctoral program, I could have earned my degree somewhere else.  I am unaware of the toll of the loss of productivity and reputation that other persons in this battle suffered.  Actually, I do not need to know.  Yet, I am most conscious of the energy and effort I wasted in sustaining this fight to ingratiate my ego.

Within marriage and close familial relationships, harsh words cause irreparable and collateral damage.  They live forever in the minds and hearts of both speakers and listeners.  These indelible words cannot be taken back.  Once spoken, they are eternal.  Even the person who grabs the upper hand in verbal jousting suffers if his or her words tear the relationship apart.  Is the loss of relationship worth the fleeting emotional satisfaction of a few stinging and poisonous words?  Silence before speaking is an effective antidote.  Thinking before speaking often prevents many unnecessary, unhelpful and harmful words.  Assuredly, thinking before speaking foils the possibility of miscommunication and misinterpretation.  Clarity between the ears usually results in a correct receipt of the words that cross the threshold of the lips.  Likewise, thinking before responding creates the setting for more fluid conversation and less miscommunication.  Fluid, mutually respectful conversations that grants equal speech and listening with “I” statements and clarifying questions tend to decrease significantly the chances of fights which no one wins.

"The Day of Small Beginnings" - Zechariah 4:10

“The Day of Small Beginnings” – Zechariah 4:10

A bestselling legal fiction writer shares the story of his beginnings as a writer.  A braggadocio, he bombarded his wife with his aspirations and intentions of writing a book.  She soon grew tired of his empty words and “bankrupt idealism.”  On hearing his vague and vacuous pledges of writing again, she sternly replied, “I do not wish to hear another word about any book you are writing until you have written it.”  That forceful verbal punch changed his life.  Humbled by his wife’s chastening rod, a lawyer at the time, he returned home from work on the next day to embark upon his prominent, lucrative and enduringly successful writing career.  He sat down with a pen and a spiral notebook.  He began his first novel writing by hand.  He made an agreement with himself that he would write at least one page per day by hand.  He did not read or edit anything he wrote in this drafting stage.  He allowed the pages to accumulate one-at-a-time.  Eventually, he wrote four hundred and fifty pages which became his first novel.  That first page was the acorn that produced the oak tree of his destiny as a writer.

The day on which this New York Times bestselling author wrote his first page was “the day of small beginnings.”  He could not possibly have envisioned the celebrity, wealth and overwhelmingly prosperous lifestyle that would unfold in subsequent days.  He refused to allow this deeply embedded desire in his heart to burn out.  Rather than squelching it, his wife’s forceful words actually reignited the flames of his dreams.  Still, he acted upon his mustard seed’s worth of faith and made a small beginning.  His acorn grew into an impressive and towering oak.

“Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hands of Zerubbabel?” (Zechariah 4:10)  Contextually, this verse in Zechariah is an exhortation to the people of Israel who scoffed at the rebuilding of the Temple.  Solomon’s great and glorious Temple was destroyed summarily by the Babylonians in 587 BCE.  One of the eight wonders of the Ancient Near Eastern world, Solomon’s grand Temple was priceless and irreplaceable.  A half century after its destruction, a vision came to rebuild.  When workers began to build the foundation for the new temple, observers ridiculed their efforts.  Surely, they could not possibly build anything comparable to what the previous generations enjoyed.  With divine providence, provision and protection which the seven eyes of the Lord represent, the workers actually accomplished this main feat twenty-one years later.  The people who laughed initially then changed their attitude and began to rejoice.

Great inventions and corporations began in garages, basements and bathtubs.  Some persons stumbled upon ideas as they were fixing other problems.  The man who holds the patent for the super water guns was repairing an appliance in the basement.  Needing additional water to complete this repair, he followed the inspiration to sketch, design and build a high power water gun.  With receipt of his first royalty check which surpassed seven figures in multiples, he knew his life had changed forever.  Yet, it began with a small water problem in his house.

As God is not a respecter of persons and does not show favoritism, He graciously and freely gives inspiration, discipline and perseverance to anyone who asks.  Should you possess a latent heartfelt desire and dream, you may seek divine favor as you pursue its fulfillment.  Though you may encounter the cynicism of other people even family members or close friends, confidently you can take the first step toward a whole new life.  Chapter sixty-four of the Tao Te Ching teaches the immortal yet very practically applicable wisdom, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”  Should other people doubt you, they will eventually resemble the ancient scoffers in Israel who exchanged their laughter for rejoicing when they observe your monumental and indescribable success.  Let no one despise the day of your small yet significant beginnings.

"Perfect Love Casts Out Fear" - 1 John 4:18

“Perfect Love Casts Out Fear” – 1 John 4:18

Fear does not come from God.  God does not want anyone to live as a prisoner to daily anxieties, unsettling feelings, persistent angst and pervasive fear.  Rather, He greatly desires for His children to live in perfect harmony under the canopy of His unfailing love.  Security in love and work is one of the heart’s deepest desires.  To love and be loved unconditionally is Cinderella’s biggest wish.  The Cinderella who lives in each person’s heart awaits the emergence of a prince with the golden, glass slipper.  Achievement, success and excellence in your chosen profession reflect your contribution to humankind and provide financial means to enjoy life.  Fear results naturally when a person does not experience emotional wellbeing in a loving relationship and self-confidence in work.  Fear about the lack of love and possibility of failure in life often erases a person’s dreams and goals.  Many persons live with a foreboding dread that they will never experience the bliss of a mutually encouraging and empowering love relationship or success within their work.  Many disciples of the Lord Jesus surrender to these fears as they doubt that life can be as abundant as scripture says.  Allowing fear to permeate your daily living is totally contrary to God’s will for you. 

In this verse, the Lord comforts us with His unfailing love which is fear’s main antidote.  He graciously and generously gives us His “perfect love” which casts out fear.  In this large letter to the young disciples in Ephesus, the great apostle of love, John, tells his audience that God fulfills the “unfailing love” of the Old Testament in the gift of Jesus Christ, His One and Only Begotten Son, who personifies love.  His example demonstrates how we can live a fearless life.  God’s unconditional love yields joy, wellness, success and peace as daily and constant companions.  God’s love annihilates persistent worries about whether anyone unconditionally loves us; accepting us as we are without any demands to change.  It further eradicates aimlessness and confusion about life’s destiny and purpose.  Christ’s  perfect love as demonstrated through His sacrificial life and atonement on Calvary’s cross completely defeats daily and practical fears.

Imagine a relationship in which you constantly check to ascertain whether your significant other is relating in good faith.  When he or she is not around, you check the cell phone messages, voicemail on the land line, email messages and open and reclose postal mail.  You inspect clothing for lipstick, perfume, and other items that prove infidelity.  You constantly call him or her at work to see if you can catch him or her unawares; possibly he or she will let down his or her guard and inadvertently reveal some untoward behavior.  The possibilities for uncovering deceit and lies within a relationship are as endless as there are people.  When channel surfing, you can find multiple reality shows and investigative programs that center upon insanity within “love” relationships.  Nevertheless, can a person live freely and fearlessly in love when he or she cannot possibly trust his or her significant other?  “Perfect love” yields trust, communication and respect; the three main pillars upon which we build mutual and loving relationships.

I grew up in a very Southern African American household which prioritized religion and weekly church attendance above everything else.  Short of death, I attended church each Sunday of my formative years.  Many of the sermons I heard centered upon the need to confess Christ as Lord and Savior in order to avoid eternal damnation in hell.  References to the burning lake of fire and enduring torment conjured incredible fear in my mind and heart.  Who wants to be doomed to such an eternal state?  Out of fear of living eternally in hell, many people came to Christ.  It was as if they took out an eternal life insurance policy.  They came to Him to prevent going to hell as He would prevent that possibility if they acceded to the proper creedal formulas and practiced the mandatory rituals.  The faithful practice of religion would resolve a person’s eternal destiny and offer meager assurances during his earthly pilgrimage.  Perhaps, knowing that he or she would go to heaven will provide a semblance of peace and greatly minimize his fears about standing before the Lord on Judgment Day.  Focusing upon dreadful possibilities in eternity robs us of realizing God’s amazing and unfailing love.  His loyal, endless and perfect love totally eliminates fear in this life and the one to come.

The second part of this verse states that fear arises when we consider punishment.  Sometimes, as a child I would be told that I would soon receive punishment for some offense I committed.  It was a living hell to wait for the punishment.  Similarly, disciples who relate to the Lord in order to avoid eternal punishment live daily in hell.  The dreaded consequences of your choices do not allow peace of mind.  Regrettably, this motive for relating to Almighty God prevents understanding His essential character which is love.  God is not a sadist who spends His time recording disciples’ misdeeds in order to punish them later.  Instead, God’s heart yearns for us to know His gracious and generous love which He gives to free us from fear.  Mostly, He desires that His children live freely within the unconditional love a parent inherently possesses for children.  Hopefully, children do not constantly dwell on fear and punishment which prevent enjoyment of love.

The evangelist additionally says, “The one who lives in fear cannot be made perfect in love.”  When you persist in fear, you will never know genuine and unconditional love.  Peace and love never emerge in a dysfunctional and disheartening relationship.  Anyone in that type of relationship can never really know whether he or she is in love.  A disciple who lives in fear of God rather than in awe of His majesty, love and grace will never be made perfect in God’s love.  God’s sacrificial, redemptive, loyal and transformative love liberates us to be the very best child of God and servant to humankind of which we are capable.  His love conquers all of our fears as we progress spiritually and develop personally on the road to wholeness.

Five Rules for Writing and Perhaps for Daily Living

Five Rules for Writing and Perhaps for Daily Living

In Chicken Soup for the Writer’s Soul, Dan Milman offers five rules for writers as they pursue their heartfelt dreams.  First, show up.  Second, pay attention to everything occurring around you.  Third, as you tell the story, tell your “truth.”  Fourth, do your very best.  Fifth, do not let the outcomes distract you.  I think Milman’s rules for writing apply perfectly to daily living regardless of your profession, passions or personality.  He concludes his story with a pithy and sagacious reminder, “There are no great writers.  There are good re-writers.”  Likewise, no one is perfect.  Rarely do first tries at anything succeed.  Thankfully and eventually, mistakes teach more than successes.

Tough times at work often discourage us.  Rather than going in “to face the music,” we may call in sick, take a mental health day or find some other excuse to avoid facing the reality of hard choices and perhaps harder consequences.  When the alarm clock rings in the morning, like an ostrich burying his head in the sand, we pull the covers over our head and hope the day will pass in a glimpse allowing us to roll over and go back to sleep.  Yet, we must get out of bed and deal with life on its terms.  Perhaps, termination of an ineffective and unproductive employee is necessary.  The raise you deserve will not be given by osmosis; you have to ask for it risking denial and personal rejection.  If a doctor has results of a recent physical, you need to know the status of your health.  The vice principal handling discipline at your child’s school will not stop calling.  A face-to-face conference with administration, teachers, parents and student is in order.  Myriad other scenarios abound.  However, Milman’s first rule applies to each example.  First, show up!  My worst fears have never been realized.  Showing up equates with ninety-eight percent of the battle.  David partially defeats Goliath because David possesses divine courage to stand and oppose the Philistine giant.  Similarly, we conquer our fear by simply showing up and believing our unfailingly loving God will orchestrate the minute details of our lives toward the best result.

“Write for the senses.”  Milman encourages writers to play very close attention to their surroundings.  Good stories place the listeners and readers directly in the setting.  Details enable the audience to see the typography and terrain, touch the furniture, hear the wind blowing, smell the flowers and taste the food.  Look and listen for significant dramatic elements of a story.  Mystery writers embed major clues within short phrases of conversations.  It is said eighty-five percent of communication is non-verbal.  Thus, important aspects of negotiations are often silent.  Facial recognition technology closely analyzes expressions to detect lying and other signs of deceit.  As we pay attention to minutiae, we discover previously overlooked riches.  Routine observations can reveal wealthy hues and colors for brilliant prose.  The senses can also expose opportunities we dismiss in the normal course of daily activity.  Further, stopping and paying attention to detail often yields heartfelt gratitude for countless blessings.  It is nice to have a spouse who irons your clothes during the morning’s flurry of activity before leaving for work.  Opening the door on a hot, hazy and particularly humid day in July causes great thanks for air conditioning.  Bumper-to-bumper traffic is more bearable when you contrast it with the sweltering platforms of the subway system.  Assuredly, when you stop and pay attention to life, you see wealth, gratitude and joy are often found in simple, small yet significant things.

Milman posits each writer can find confidence in his unquestioned uniqueness.  “Write only as you can for no one else can write as exactly as you do.”  Another popular translation of Milman’s axiom relating to individuality offers, “No one can beat you being you.”    Most assuredly, you will always fail when you attempt to be someone other than who you are.  Writers like all other artists, musicians, entertainers, comedians and performers must find their own voice.  Mimicking someone else’s style will be seen for its worthlessness.  Why would someone read an imitation version of Dickens, Baldwin, Morrison, Ellison, King, Clancy, Updike or some other “great” writer when he can read the original work?  Similarly, in life, give people an opportunity to encounter God’s unique revelation in you.

Strive doggedly to do your best is Milman’s fourth rule for writers.  “Read your writing, notice the weaknesses and improve your work; constantly rewrite until you are certain that you cannot improve another sentence or word.”  No matter how good we are at what we do, we can be better.  There is always room for growth and even greater successes.  Though many people are happy wearing withered laurels, persons who achieve excellence refuse to settle for their most recent success.  They compete with themselves and not other people.  Can they dig within and find a superlative level of talent and ability?  Will they develop greater discipline and willingness to exceed their latest accomplishment? 

“Take an action and let go of the results.”  That colloquial expression captures Milman’s final counsel to writers.  “The effort itself is success; you cannot control the outcomes, only the effort.”  Writers receive countless rejections before their “big break” finally comes.  If they base their writing on achieving publication early on, most of them will abandon their calling and pursue some other means of earning a living.  Simply put, write because it is the heart’s passion.  If one person receives encouragement and empowerment to strive for a more joyous and fulfilling life because of something a writer composed, then writers attain successes greater than the amount of any royalty payments.  Conceivably, the most influential and effective writers have never won a National Book Award, Pulitzer Prize or Nobel Medal.  If they have changed someone’s life, they achieved the best results.  Henry David Thoreau posits, “A many dates his life from the reading of a great book.”  Writers whose books transform people’s lives deserve our highest praise.

Finally, Milman warns, “There are no good writers.  There are good re-writers.”  Many people never forge through the morass of doubt, fear and angst to write because they are too busy editing their work before they compose it.  Hemingway wrote fifteen drafts before sending anything to a publisher.  We can improve and strengthen anything if we willingly engage self-evaluation and humility.  We can rewrite the script of our lives with God’s guidance and frank self-acceptance.  Marianne Williamson in her compelling book, The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife, suggests that God returns the script of our lives to us for rewrites at midlife.  Rather than undergoing a crisis eventuating in depression, the years of midlife can be a fertile time of reflection, renewal and recommitment.  Return to the dreams of your youth and decide to actualize your heart’s deepest desires in the second half of your life.  Williamson additionally exhorts her readers, “Chances are if you think you are wasting your life, you’re probably right.”  Whether as a novelist, journalist, cultural critic, academician or on the existential canvass of life, be a good rewriter.