"You Never Find Yourself Until You Face the Truth"

 “You Never Find Yourself Until You Face the Truth”

This quote by Pearl Bailey hints toward the most effective means of self-acceptance.  The self-help sections of many book stores increases exponentially each year.  Once, a very small area containing a maximum of three shelves in any nook of the store adjacent to the Psychology and Religion sections, self-help books contemporarily command many more shelves of space.  The growth of this literature signals American preoccupation with individualism in its myriad formulations of the self-made man, pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, relentlessly pursuing the American dream, variations of Horatio Algiers “rags to riches” stories and iterations of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.  This burgeoning multi-billionaire dollar niche of publishing presumes mental, emotional and psychological health are prerequisites to achieving success, excellence and happiness.  You discover your uniqueness holds the key to inimitable joy and wholeness in life.  However, Bailey’s aphorism stipulates a commonsensical approach to attaining wellness, healing and wholeness.  To live the life you imagine; experience unconditional self-acceptance and live authentically as a unique person, you acknowledge both poles of your character: assets and liabilities, strengths and weaknesses, light and dark, talents and deficiencies.  Recognizing these hard truths is the non-negotiable means of discovering who you are.

Repeated collisions with life’s proverbial brick walls possibly indicate a resistance to engaging the rigorous yet rewarding process of self-discovery.  However excruciating; self-examination is an important spiritual discipline.  Self- examination is essential to finding yourself.  Before beginning your morning routine of hygiene, look forcefully into the mirror and listen for the voices that resound between your ears.  Chances are the Goliath of your current fears awoke before you did.  Whether financial challenges due to debt or simply living beyond your means or stomach curdling angst about your ability to surmount a task at work or a lingering deficiency within a primary relationship, penetrating and paralyzing fears greet you each morning.  Will you face them today?  Will you fight?  Do you possess willingness to combat this pervasive enemy who threatens perpetually your mental and emotional well-being?  Will you surrender again today and negotiate a truce that allows you to put on a mask and leave your home?  Straightforwardly accepting your raw and unvarnished fears is a primary step toward self-discovery and self-acceptance.

Beyond defining your fears and resolving to eliminate them, taking an inventory of your character is an effective means of finding your authentic self.  The recovery community especially recommends this spiritual discipline of listing your assets and liabilities.  “The Parable of The Talents” (Matthew 24:14-30) and similar sacred literature of the other major world religions teach the graciousness of Almighty God in giving each person at least one unique talent.  Unearthing this divine gift within your heart is essential to self-discovery and self-acceptance.  God also provides each person an opportunity to share uniquely His love through an expression of selfless and sacrificial service.  Your talent is the concrete means of doing so.  Whether in a behind-the-scenes and rarely observed blue collar job or within the lofty heights of fame and fortune, your faithful and enduring service to humankind utilizing your divine gift is the surest means of finding yourself.  It is important to demystify the process of self-discovery and determining your divine gifts.  Too often, it is easy to fall prey to the idea that your talent must be grand and worthy of celebrity.  This false notion prevents clarity and causes unnecessary detours.  Possibly, you will waste time zigzagging through a morass of emotional and mental confusion when what you are searching for is right in front of you.  Take time to be still and listen to the internal, still and small voice of clarity.  Your interests and passions are reliable indicators of the divine gifts that lie within you.

The truth is no one is all good or bad.  These polar opposites exist within each person.  As you need clarity about your assets, equal understanding about your liabilities is critical to determining who you are.  A sage reasons “A wise man knows his weaknesses and learns how to guard against them.”  If nothing else, he at least acquires ways of neutralizing his deficiencies; being rigorously honest about defects of character.  A non-negotiable and unconditional prerequisite to long-term sobriety and recovery is an unequivocal admission of your problem with alcohol.  Admitting internal and personal problems is the first step in resolving them. 

Incidentally, a current prevalent view in the corporate community suggests that spending time and energy in eliminating weaknesses is a waste.  Rather, your time is better spent investing in strengthening your assets.  Nevertheless, the process of enumerating your strengths and weaknesses is a practical and pragmatic means of finding yourself as you face the truth about who you are.