Making the Right Decision

Making The Right Decision

“How do I make the ‘right” decision?”  Prospective college and graduate school students often asked that question, during my ten years as an admission professional.  They wanted to know the “right” choice for a school or major.  People who are engaged want to know that they have chosen the “right” person to marry.  We want the “right” job for us.  Presumably, the “right” choice automatically yields success in school, on the job and lifelong happiness in marriage.  Yet, the daunting question lingers, “How do I make the ‘right’ decision?”

That question assumes that there is a perfect or magical choice.  It also implies that an incorrect choice will certainly fail.  The question cloaks our desire to know that we will succeed in advance.  Otherwise, our choices would not matter as much.  However, it is impossible to make the “right” decision. 

Whereas there are better choices than others, there is no such thing as the “right” decision.  The lifelong process of learning and knowing one’s self is the first major step in making choices.  Discovering and defining one’s God given gifts, natural talents and spiritual passions greatly assist in decision making.  Those three characteristics are sure indicators about what type of job makes you happy.  They determine the subject matter that you would enjoy studying the most. 

As a graduate student, I know myself well enough to realize that history is the primary subject that captures my passion for reading, researching and writing.  Even though other disciplines interest me, none of them do so to the point that I would commit to pursuing a doctorate in the field.  Nevertheless, self-acceptance is the foundation for making preferable choices.

Second, acquiring minute knowledge about all of the relevant factors helps one in making the best choice.  Picking a job should include more than a good salary and a fancy title.  How does one obtain a promotion?  Has there been frequent turnover in the office?  What is included in the fine print of the job description?  Moreover, in buying a house or a car, research is critical to making the better choice for you.  Knowing the condition of the market enables you to get the biggest bargain for your buck.  Our failure to research painstakingly the small details of a decision costs us dearly.

Third, it is always beneficial to talk with a mentor or close friend.  Sometimes, they illuminate matters that blind sides prevent us from seeing.  We need them to motivate us to ask really tough questions.  Do you really love this person whom you are going to marry?  Will you continue to love and accept them even if they never change?  Are you willing to live with that possibility?  Are you just taking this job because of money and prestige?  Are the football and basketball programs of this school factoring more heavily in your decision than they should?  It helps to expose our hidden motives to the light of reflection.

We must additionally lift our desires to divine light of prayer and meditation.  Those spiritual disciplines are crucial to any decision making.  Our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves.  He graciously reveals those things that make us happy.  More significantly, He aids in removing the self-centered fear that often plagues our decision making. 

When we act out of fear, it is virtually certain that we make mistakes.  Fear, despite its sophisticated manifestations, leads to failure.  Believing that this is our only chance to be married is not the sole reason to tie the knot.  Saying, “even if it does not work out, at least I tried,” is not the right approach to beginning a marriage.  Settling for the only person who ever showed any interest in you is not the right mindset to enter a lifelong relationship.  Essentially, fear should not inform our choices.

Together, knowledge of self, research of pertinent details, the perspective of friends and family, and the spiritual disciplines of prayer and meditation equip us to make a decision.  However, their sum does not equal the “right” decision.  Those factors lead to a decision.  When we live into the consequences of our choices then they become the “right” decisions for us.  Through resilience, faithfulness and a willingness to accept the outcomes of our decisions, we make them the “right” ones.  The advance assurance of success never emerges.  Success or failure depends upon our faith to arise each morning and take steps in the right direction.  As we do so, we affirm our choices.  Thereby, we make the “right” decisions.