Days of Profound Gratitude – Thursday, 30 June 2011 – Part V
I concluded my reminiscences of my childhood. The day wore on and I still had to return to the local hospital to complete my visit with my second oldest brother who underwent back surgery three days previously. As I mentioned in the introduction to this piece, my fears and anxieties about this fraternal and familial time were unfounded.
Upon entering his hospital room, my brother greeted me formally but very genuinely and lovingly. His endearing greeting mystically and immediately healed any unresolved childhood relational and emotional pain. Indeed, time and patience heals all wounds.
I had the incalculable joy of introducing my beloved son and daughter to their uncle and extended family. Actually, my children have repeatedly inquired about my side of the family. Heretofore, I merely responded by saying, "You will meet them." Little did I realize that my failure to introduce them to my family equated with a failure to disclose a very significant part of myself. Psychologists and historians concur about the inestimable influence of one’s early childhood upon ones adult character. In order for my children to understand me completely, they would need to meet and interact with the people who pivotally contributed to formulating my personality.
We would turn around and head out of the neighborhood. In leaving this time, I felt that I probably would not return physically. Certainly on any day, my mind and soul will travel to Salterstown. Yet, there will be no need to visit the old homestead which does not physically exist any longer. Realistically, it does not exist. I can only visit it through the means of memory and recollections. Whereas I am not in the habit of visiting graves, I shall not return to a space that represents tremendous challenge for me. I have within my heart a treasury of the very best memories of my childhood years. As I retreat to the inner sacred spaces of mind and heart, I will revisit Salterstown.
It amazes me when I consider how such a simplistic greeting could possess such healing magnitude. My brother's greeting removed years of emotional residue and unresolved recollections about hurtful childhood experiences. Who can recall accurately the details of incidents that may still cause resentment? As I stood in my brother’s hospital room and observed his vulnerability and personal quest for holistic healing and restoration, I resolved whatever differences once existed between us no longer matter. Essentially, they were no longer of any meaningful consequence. Wherein lays the difference between the past and the present? My personal and spiritual maturity during the three plus decades I have lived away from my childhood home and town teaches me love is the most important thing in life.
In that room, I realized by the grace of Almighty God that I love my brother unconditionally. That is what matters and it is what is most important. He and I will never be able, were we foolish enough to try, to revisit any past misunderstandings or pain with clarity. The self-aggrandizing exchange of formulaic apologies would accomplish very little. Instead, we share a genuine appreciation for the gift of being brothers well into our adulthood after having loss two of our brothers when they were nineteen and thirty-four years of age. As I embrace mid-life, l realize just how priceless meaningful relationships are.
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