You Can't Lose Something You Never Really Had!

You Can’t Lose Something You Never Really Had!

You can’t lose something you never really had!  I realize the obviousness of that statement appears supercilious.  However, I recite it to provoke you to consider whether you are fretting over meaningless losses.  I find many people expending exorbitant time and emotion over “losses” that are actually “gains.”  Yes, no one likes to lose anything.  Some people refuse to gamble because they hate to lose their hard earned money.  We particularly hate to lose relationships in which we made a tremendous investment of time, money and emotion.  Sometimes, we realize we are wasting ourselves with people who do not appreciate us.  After anger dissipates and disillusionment fades, we soberly and humbly acknowledge we never really had what we thought we had.  We did not lose a good marriage because we never really had one.  Again, you can’t lose something that you never really had.

Everyone I know who experienced “downsizing,” “right sizing” or termination found a better employment situation.  As a graduate admission professional, I vividly recall a conversation with a former banker.  On a Friday morning, she learned her job would be eliminated due to a recent merger.  She made an immediate call to the admissions office for an interview.  As we talked, she shared she knew ten years previously she always desired to teach high school English literature.  Yet, she could not yank herself away from the money.  Eventually, she resolved God did for her what she could not do for herself.  This woman completed the application process; she was admitted.  Today, after completing her masters in teaching degree, she happily teaches Shakespeare, Donne, Dickens, Ellison, Morrison, and other great authors to high school students.  This applicant concluded the “loss” of her job was actually a much greater “gain.” 

Cease and desist with the notion God only works in the “light.”  In contradistinction, God powerfully transforms and redeems the “darkness.” The psalmist assures us though “weeping endures for the night, joy comes in the morning.”  The “darkness” of loss eventually yields to the dawn of a new opportunity.  Closing one door automatically opens another one.  Isaiah inimitably paints a picture of God’s redemptive promise in converting our losses into gains.  “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known; along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” (Isaiah 42:16) 

The loss of primary relationships greatly affects us.  Those failures are harder to overcome than other quantifiable matters.  You cannot fully determine how much emotion and love you give to a marriage.  Therefore, when heartfelt relationships end, resentment and bitterness are natural reactions. These feelings inevitably harm the person who nurses them.  Fretting over meaningless losses consumes substantial time and talent available for more meaningful pursuits.  Regret and resentment are just as meaningless as any loss.  A friend of mine starkly parallels maintaining resentments with continually urinating on yourself! 

Loss is a fundamental part of life.  We lose things due to negligence and irresponsibility.  Sometimes, we lose people and possessions because of accidents and natural disasters.  Other times, we lose very important things due to matters beyond our control.  All losses are not equal.  I highly recommend spiritual disciplines of prayer, meditation and self-evaluation.  In utilizing them, you analyze your losses, past and present, to determine their worth.  Afterwards, you find grace and divine power to move beyond meaningless losses.