When God is Silent - Part II

 “When God is Silent” - Psalm 22 – Part II

The psalmist vividly describes his situation in the fifteenth verse.  “My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my strength; you lay me in the dust of death.”  In the next three verses, he further depicts the horrible scene of human and wild vultures encircling him as life ebbs out of him.  They cannot wait to devour his corpse.  Practically speaking, the psalmist is destitute.  Although he cries out, God is silent as death approaches with the gleeful cheers of greedy spectators whose self-seeking ways prohibit them from helping him.  Most unfortunately, even the “Helper of ages past” acquiesces this dilemma with His inexplicable silence and inertia.

In periods of God’s perceived silence, it is extremely important that we guard against resentment, anger and bitterness.  During these times of spiritual drought, we dwell upon the cumulative string of past disappointments.  We remember every harm, insult, hardship and failure that we ever experienced.  We think of each time we assumed that God did not deliver us.  We resent God for allowing those situations.  To resent means to relive.  When we resent people and past experiences, we relive them as if we were experiencing them for the very first time.  Inevitably, resentment fueled by anger leads to bitterness possibly hatred.  These attributes evolve into a cancer on one’s heart.  Additionally, these emotions motivate thirst for vengeance toward those whom we suspected injured us.  Eventually, we die a slow spiritual death as these toxic characteristics prevent us from enjoying eternal life.

Instead of dwelling upon negativity, we have the option of focusing upon faith and God’s faithfulness toward us.  In each past experience, God transformed evil intended to harm us into a blessing empowering us to accomplish His will.  We can choose to center our minds and hearts on the positive aspects embedded in every incident.  Practically speaking, we learn to let go of unproductive and useless emotions.  Through these experiences, God builds resilience within us.  His silence is His mysterious and majestic method of enabling us with inner fortitude, elasticity and buoyancy to triumph over any adversity.  Daily resiliency reenacts the resurrection.

The psalmist realizes that God has not been silent.  Furthermore, he appreciates that Almighty God has not forsaken him nor has He abandoned the psalmist to his circumstances.  “For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.”  As a matter of fact, the psalmist accepts that God has spoken forcefully in his situation.  He just did not speak when the psalmist prefers.

The blessed seasons of Christmas and Easter remind us of the resilience and resurrection that Almighty God infuses into our lives.  Our Lord resists the temptation of anger and punishment toward His accusers.  He, like the psalmist, appeals in despair to the Holy Father for deliverance.  To accomplish the plan of eternal salvation, God appears silent.  In actuality, He busily instructed the angels regarding the details of the drama of the forthcoming resurrection.  The darkness and silence, which surrounded the crucifixion, were an intermission on the grand cosmological stage.  Behind the curtain, God rearranged the setting to ensure that the final scene would result in the deliverance of His Son and the salvation of humankind.

Anger

Anger

“Anger turns off the light in the mind.”  Indeed, it does.  Anger is one of the most seductive and deceiving emotions.  The initial rush of adrenaline always feels empowering but it is actually poisonous.  Angers leads inevitably to mistakes.  We regret decisions made in anger.  We say things that we wish to retract.  Rather than being the best tool to fix a problem, anger is the sledgehammer of destruction; when unnecessarily angry, one would use it to kill a gnat.  Essentially, the mental darkness that anger produces clouds our decision-making. 

In many instances, anger cloaks deep-seated fears.  The melodrama of rage fools us into believing that we are in control.  We try to intimidate people into yielding to our selfish demands.  We also manipulate our circumstances to prevent losing something that we have.  Fears of unfulfilled desires and loss of property or status belie the eruption of angry emotions.  Instead of the fallacious demonstration of “righteous indignation,” acknowledging our fears and working through them better serve us.

Anger prevents clear communication.  When people yell at each other, they are not communicating.  An explosive dialogue is nothing other than an exchange of volatile emotions.  Ultimately, such a conversation is useless.  People say things that they later regret but cannot erase.  After a cooling off period, all parties can join the conversation with a principled position borne out of lucid reflection and spiritual meditation.  The brilliance of calm analysis surpasses the bleakness of deceitful anger.

It is helpful to learn how to process anger.  Because of its untrustworthy nature, it benefits us if we practice the discipline of filtering it.  I suggest remaining quiet and reflective for at least a cycle of twenty-four hours.  If after a day, you are still angry, then perhaps your emotions are legitimate.  Having utilized this technique, I find that my frustrations, number of apologies and regrets decrease significantly.

Many relationships are torn apart because of anger.  In fact, all us of know people who insist upon nursing grudges against siblings, extended relatives and former coworkers.  When asked what precipitated the crisis and resentment, they do not recall.  But, they remain angry.  Ironically, this anger harms them more than it does the objects of their ire.  Whereas it is necessary to sit on our anger, it is also wise to resolve it permanently.  We relate better to our spouses, children, and friends when we are not angry.   

Retaining useless anger within the mind and heart causes a cancer of the personality.  Captain Ahab in Herman Melville’s Moby Dick symbolizes the fallacy of harboring anger.  In time, his resentment matures into revenge.  He desires to take the life of the great whale that had bitten off his leg.  Ahab’s thirst for vengeance, undergirded by his anger, led to the loss of his life in the final struggle between the whale, the ocean, the natural elements and himself.  Ahab’s anger broke his spirit and blinded him from seeing everything else that life offers him.

You are probably wondering about the legitimacy of righteous indignation.  Are there not times in which anger is justified?  Most assuredly, situations arise in which anger is the most appropriate response.  I submit that fury toward economic, social and political injustice is reasonable and healthy.  In fact, I hate oppression of poor and subjugation of working people regardless of where it occurs.  However, those strong emotions are best directed toward socio-economic and socio-political structures rather than people. 

In the final analysis, it benefits us to channel our anger toward constructive purposes.  As a replacement for the fuel of melodrama, allow your anger to inspire you to work harder toward your goals.  Avoid lingering in the mire of resentment and bitterness.  Direct that energy toward a helpful resolution.  Yet, should we insist upon being angry, then we remain in the pit of night.  “Anger turns off the light of the mind.”

Making the Right Decision

Making The Right Decision

“How do I make the ‘right” decision?”  Prospective college and graduate school students often asked that question, during my ten years as an admission professional.  They wanted to know the “right” choice for a school or major.  People who are engaged want to know that they have chosen the “right” person to marry.  We want the “right” job for us.  Presumably, the “right” choice automatically yields success in school, on the job and lifelong happiness in marriage.  Yet, the daunting question lingers, “How do I make the ‘right’ decision?”

That question assumes that there is a perfect or magical choice.  It also implies that an incorrect choice will certainly fail.  The question cloaks our desire to know that we will succeed in advance.  Otherwise, our choices would not matter as much.  However, it is impossible to make the “right” decision. 

Whereas there are better choices than others, there is no such thing as the “right” decision.  The lifelong process of learning and knowing one’s self is the first major step in making choices.  Discovering and defining one’s God given gifts, natural talents and spiritual passions greatly assist in decision making.  Those three characteristics are sure indicators about what type of job makes you happy.  They determine the subject matter that you would enjoy studying the most. 

As a graduate student, I know myself well enough to realize that history is the primary subject that captures my passion for reading, researching and writing.  Even though other disciplines interest me, none of them do so to the point that I would commit to pursuing a doctorate in the field.  Nevertheless, self-acceptance is the foundation for making preferable choices.

Second, acquiring minute knowledge about all of the relevant factors helps one in making the best choice.  Picking a job should include more than a good salary and a fancy title.  How does one obtain a promotion?  Has there been frequent turnover in the office?  What is included in the fine print of the job description?  Moreover, in buying a house or a car, research is critical to making the better choice for you.  Knowing the condition of the market enables you to get the biggest bargain for your buck.  Our failure to research painstakingly the small details of a decision costs us dearly.

Third, it is always beneficial to talk with a mentor or close friend.  Sometimes, they illuminate matters that blind sides prevent us from seeing.  We need them to motivate us to ask really tough questions.  Do you really love this person whom you are going to marry?  Will you continue to love and accept them even if they never change?  Are you willing to live with that possibility?  Are you just taking this job because of money and prestige?  Are the football and basketball programs of this school factoring more heavily in your decision than they should?  It helps to expose our hidden motives to the light of reflection.

We must additionally lift our desires to divine light of prayer and meditation.  Those spiritual disciplines are crucial to any decision making.  Our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves.  He graciously reveals those things that make us happy.  More significantly, He aids in removing the self-centered fear that often plagues our decision making. 

When we act out of fear, it is virtually certain that we make mistakes.  Fear, despite its sophisticated manifestations, leads to failure.  Believing that this is our only chance to be married is not the sole reason to tie the knot.  Saying, “even if it does not work out, at least I tried,” is not the right approach to beginning a marriage.  Settling for the only person who ever showed any interest in you is not the right mindset to enter a lifelong relationship.  Essentially, fear should not inform our choices.

Together, knowledge of self, research of pertinent details, the perspective of friends and family, and the spiritual disciplines of prayer and meditation equip us to make a decision.  However, their sum does not equal the “right” decision.  Those factors lead to a decision.  When we live into the consequences of our choices then they become the “right” decisions for us.  Through resilience, faithfulness and a willingness to accept the outcomes of our decisions, we make them the “right” ones.  The advance assurance of success never emerges.  Success or failure depends upon our faith to arise each morning and take steps in the right direction.  As we do so, we affirm our choices.  Thereby, we make the “right” decisions.

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity

2 Samuel 13:1-33

The failure to forgive imprisons our minds, hearts, and wills to pervasive and perpetual thoughts of satisfying obsessions with revenge.  When we fail to forgive others, we spend incalculable amounts of time thirsting for revenge and plotting our vindication.  This active imagination yields to fictional and impractical scenarios of how our oppressors will receive their comeuppance.  Spiritually speaking, we ask Almighty God to anoint us as His express instruments to extract His vengeance upon our victimizers.  Essentially, the failure to forgive kidnaps our talents, abilities, creativity, dreams, and emotional health.  More significantly, you cannot be a channel of the Lord’s unfailing love if you harbor bitterness and resentment toward another person.

Recently, I read a newspaper article about a very disgruntled former student of a university in Texas who felt mistreated by the faculty and administration of the school.  Amazingly, this fellow, seeking retaliation upon those persons who harmed him, sent seventy-six thousand (76,000) emails to the university community hoping to expose the deeds of his perpetrators.  Later, I read an article about an Asian man whose girlfriend left him to begin a relationship with an African-American male.  This failed relationship ignited the Asian man’s disdain for interracial relationships.  For the subsequent twenty years, this man steadfastly maintained a campaign to frighten and end all interracial relationships.  He sent hate mail to prominent African-American men in interracial marriages inclusive of marquis Hollywood actors, a U. S. Supreme Court justice, and professional athletes.  If he saw an interracial couple on the street, he would follow them and write down their license plate numbers and letters.  He would then send them hate mail threatening their safety.  Upon being formally charged after an FBI investigation, this man immediately pleaded guilty.  He cited his anger and bitterness toward his former girlfriend as the foundation for his actions.  Third, I recall attending the Holy Communion service at a very popular Baptist church in Harlem in October 1987 as I entered seminary.  As the Pastor officiated over the Sacrament, he appealed to Almighty God that the recipients would enjoy eternal life.  An older woman, sitting on one of the back pews, began to yell, “Hey Minister!  Hey Minister!  Surely she [name omitted] shall not live forever after what she did to me” As the ushers attempted to quiet and comfort her, this elderly woman proceeded to yell more loudly. 

The three foregoing persons had one thing in common.  All of them failed to forgive people who wronged them.  Their initial anger became rage which in turn matured into bitterness and a deep thirst for revenge.  They devoted themselves to extracting vengeance upon their victimizers.  Their mental energies and spiritual imagination were dedicated to ensuring that the people who hurt them are punished sufficiently.  To satisfy their desire for revenge, astoundingly, they were prepared to expend whatever cost necessary. 

Unconditional forgiveness yields unlimited creativity.  It is impossible to actualize fully dreams and goals if unforgiveness clogs your mind, heart and soul.  As recipients of God’s forgiveness in Jesus Christ, we gratefully extend our meager human forgiveness to those who violated our feelings, trust, kindness and love.  We forgive because we have been forgiven.  Our gratitude for divine forgiveness equates perfectly with our willingness to forgive others.  The apostle Paul exhorts the Ephesians, “Be kind and tenderhearted toward each other, forgiving each other for just as in Christ God forgives you.”  Furthermore, we forgive in order to experience incredible and infinite freedom that God offers in the abundant and eternal life.  In consequence, we extend forgiveness without any conditions whatsoever.  This unequivocal forgiveness simultaneously yields unconstrained creativity.

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity - Part II

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity

2 Samuel 13:1-33 – Part II

Lest we laugh at the previously mentioned persons and relegate them as being inexplicably crazy, consider the continual resentment and revenge lists that we keep.  How many people remain on your resentment list?  Have you purged anyone from your vengeance list?  How many people remain on it?  These are the victimizers whom you pray to God to extract His swiftest and severest punishment.  The degree to which we keep, update and rearrange the names on these lists parallels the actions of the three disgruntled persons above.  Moreover, we remain as trapped in the mire of unforgiveness as they did.  Eventually, we become bitter and cynical people imprisoned to the unproductive and purposeless tasks of making our victimizers pay for their “crimes” against us.

I know a young minister who once kept a resentment list of two hundred and fifty-six people.  This clergyperson vividly and meticulously recalled dates, times, places and multiple instances of the ways in which people hurt his feelings, overlooked him, trespassed his kindness, underestimated his skills, demeaned his abilities and failed to reciprocate his goodness.  What an astonishing waste of mental energy and intellectual potential!  Some of us do not even know two hundred and fifty-six people let alone harboring years of resentment against that many people.  This minister did not appreciate the extreme toxicity within his feelings and thoughts.  How could he expect to be creative and industrious given this incalculable drain upon his soul and will?  Moreover, how could he portend to share Christ’s unconditional love with anyone as he continually withheld his forgiveness from those people on his resentment list? 

Again, unconditional forgiveness yields boundless creativity.  If you are stifled professionally, financially and existentially, you may consider whether you continue to withhold your forgiveness from someone who rightly deserves it.  There are new, great and unimaginable vistas God has for us if we will submit humbly and obey His word by unconditionally forgiving everyone.  Actually, God will amaze us with boundlessness freedom when we live at peace with everyone else.  We will discover latent talents and abilities.  We will find ways of translating them into financial success and material acquisition.  We will strive to serve God by serving others.  We will live with purposes of spreading the gospel of Christ and its message of inner healing and wholeness.  We will develop ambitions of building the kingdom of God.  Our souls will sing openly and liberally to the honor and glory of Almighty God.  Freedom to dream and pursue one’s dreams with singleness of purpose is one of the practical benefits of forgiving.

Forgiveness is a selfish act.  We do not forgive people because they need of our forgiveness.  Shakespeare said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”  Accordingly, withholding forgiveness perpetually harms us.  As recipients of God’s forgiveness in Christ, we gratefully extend our compassion by forgiving incapacities, brokenness and unresolved pain of people who hurt us.  Forgiveness is a two way street.  One extends as one receives.  Unconditional forgiveness opens the doors and windows of life.  It is a primary prerequisite to becoming a genuine messenger of the Lord’s love with integrity. 

To forgive means to pardon.  It resembles a governor of a state issuing a decree in which a prisoner is released immediately from prison and totally cleared of all crimes and charges whether he or she actually committed them.  A pardon means a clean slate.  Forgiveness, likewise, means that we intend to treat the person who harmed us as if he or she never committed their dastardly deed.

Uncondtional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity - Part III

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity

2 Samuel 13:1-33 – Part III

We cloak these feelings with the designer religious and rhetorical clothing of “righteous indignation.”  It seems more religiously appropriate and socially acceptable to be righteously indignant than to be murderously angry.  Some believers and churchgoers even rifle through the Bible to find a few scriptures to support their feelings.  Revenge sets in when disciples convince themselves that Almighty God has chosen them exclusively as direct agents of His vengeance.  It is very easy for people of faith to delude themselves into believing that Almighty God sanctions their every thought, feeling and action.  Under the aegis of demanding the rightful consequences of righteous indignation, we cloak self-centered fears that perpetrators will escape as free fugitives of the law.  The culture of Church and religious language become veils for selfish and sadistic motives to see others painfully punished.  Our genuine motivations of finding glee in the destruction of our enemies lie behind the designer and bourgeois religion.

In the compelling and shocking story of this text, Absalom personifies the quintessential archetype of a person who refuses to forgive.  For three years, Absalom nurses his anger toward Amnon for Amnon’s rape and defilement of Absalom’s sister, Tamar.  In time, Absalom’s anger metamorphosizes into rage.  His unrequited gall, personal disdain, unfulfilled judgment, thirst for vengeance and unsatisfied lust for punishment coalesce into murderous fury.  Blinded by the tunnel vision of heartfelt desire to avenge the dignity of his sister, Absalom, in response to David’s inexplicable silence, eventually reasons that the death of Amnon, his half brother and the son of his father, is the only means of rectifying this situation.

The latter chapters of 2 Samuel reveal Absalom’s creativity, industriousness, chutzpah, military acumen, and unrestrained ambition.  Interestingly, as the eldest son of David, Absalom traditionally and legally would ascend to the throne upon David’s death or abdication.  Imagine the possibilities for the reign of Absalom had it occurred within divine providence.  Consider the incredible accomplishments he would have made on behalf of Israel.  He would have defeated all of Israel’s enemies, domestic and foreign.  He would have improved the standard of living of each Israelite.  Yet, his character and personal endowments were corrupted by rage petrified within his mind and heart. 

Absalom’s failure to forgive Amnon forever defined his limitations in life.  Most regrettably, his attitude toward Amnon spilled over into his relationship with his father, King David, whom Absalom disdains because of David’s failure to intervene in this intricate family scandal.  A murderous plot under the aegis of achieving a just outcome to a dastardly deed soon results in a conspiracy to wrestle the reins of power from the king.  As Absalom’s schemes mature into the wanton, cruel and reckless designs to kill men, women and children to whom he is related, he fails to apprehend the gravity of his deeds.  He proceeds with reckless abandonment. 

Had Absalom been successful in his attempt to overthrow his father, his ascension to the throne would not have satisfied him.  The ruthlessness that metastasized within him would have affected negatively every relationship in his life.  A clergy colleague tells the story of going for ice cream one afternoon and observing a St. Bernard tied to a bench outside the entrance.  Unbeknownst to his owner, the dog, unable to evade the leash, somehow manages to wrestle the entire bench out of its pegs.  Then, the dog proceeds to run straightforwardly into traffic to complete his escape.  Concerned and observant motorists slam on their brakes to avoid hitting and possibly killing the dog.  As he flees, the bench flings sideways causing collateral damage to cars and anything in the dog’s path.  As Absalom’s rage transforms into ruthlessness, anyone he encounters become collateral damage to satiate his unrestrained ambition and limitless thirst for revenge.

Examine Absalom’s captivity to these outrageous thoughts and deeds.  What if he had been able effectively to resolve his anger and resentment?  He would have been the recipient of the ultimate liberty and happiness.  He would channel his talents and dreams toward worthwhile causes than striving to appease an insatiable ego.  In many ways, Absalom’s unbridled desire for vengeance conjures memories of Herman Melville’s immortal character, Captain Ahab, who recklessly risk the lives of his crew in order to extract revenge upon Moby Dick for biting off Ahab’s leg.  Given Ahab’s prior success in sailing, imagine the considerable fortune that awaited him from whale oil and other commodities from the sea.  He conceivably could have owned his own shipping line at some point.  However, the bitterness and rage in his heart ate away at his dreams and goals each day.  He subordinated them to his primary purpose of finding the great whale and killing him in exchange for the loss of his leg. Likewise, Absalom develops tunnel vision as he schemes to make Amnon pay for his rape of Tamar. 

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity - Part IV

Unconditional Forgiveness Yields Unlimited Creativity

2 Samuel 13:1-33 – Part IV

In the end, Absalom’s fate equals that of Amnon.  Absalom dies spiritually before he dies physically.  Similar to his unfortunate plight, many people in the body of Christ experience the same fate.  Their refusal to forgive people slowly and surely drains life out of them.  They cease the daily practice of spiritual disciplines.  They become obsessed with wanting God to defend and vindicate them.  They constantly look back to the hurtful experience.  The bitterness that pervades their minds and the strife that captures their hearts reduces them to a pillar of salt that has lost its savor. 

In contrast, were they, in gratitude for God’s grace, to forgive liberally as well as unconditionally, they become “channels of God’s peace” in the poetic characterization of St. Francis of Assisi.  In his timeless prayer of humble petition for divine service, this monk who had taken a vow of financial and material poverty appeals to be the Lord’s exclusive instrument.  I paraphrase succinctly the central thoughts of St. Francis.  “Lord make me a channel of Thy peace.  Where there is hatred, I may sow love; where there is darkness, I make sow light; where there is sorrow, I may sow joy; where there is despair, I make sow hope.”  Is seems self-evident that someone whose raison de-tre is extracting revenge hardly qualifies to articulate this prayer.  Such an obsessed person cannot accomplish the grand spiritual aims of which St. Francis speaks.  Only someone who is totally free from emotional burdens could desire to be a messenger of mercy and peace. 

There are innumerable practical benefits to total forgiveness which equates with hitting the delete button on a corrupted computer file.  It is necessary to delete the file and send it to the recycle bin.  It is then necessary to empty that bin thereby forever erasing the affects of emotional strangleholds.  Find the joy to return to your child-like faith in which you truly believe that anything is possible with God.  This exquisite joy emerges for disciples whose souls sing freely and openly to the honor and glory of Almighty God.  In gratitude for the forgiveness which they receive in Christ, they willingly share the Lord’s love and mercy with others.  The new found freedom that categorical forgiveness yields develops into unrestricted imagination.

I conclude with an autobiographical illustration.  As the sixth of seven children who were abandoned by both parents, I was reared by my paternal grandparents who were very godly people.  They took my siblings and me in November of 1967 when they were in their early sixties and looking forward to retirement.  Plus, they had recently taken in two of my cousins.  Nonetheless, for many years I thought of my parents as fugitives who had gotten way.  I deeply desired that they would feel some of the pain and disappointment that I felt for being picked upon for wearing cheap sneakers, hand-me-down clothes, and raggedly coats in the winter time.  I wanted them to feel the same embarrassment that I felt when I watched other kids in the neighborhood come home with new school clothes.  Needless to say, I could recite endlessly such memories.  Today, however, none of that matters because Almighty God has given me the grace to extend unqualified forgiveness in gratitude for the forgiveness that He freely gave me in Jesus Christ.  On Mothers’ Day of this year, I wrote my mother a letter offering my love and human forgiveness of which I am very aware she is not in need.  Also, I enclosed a gift from my wife, our children and me.  I recalled how I had written her the most hurtful letter that I could write when I was in college.  I told her that I hope that this one could replace that one.  I hope that it could be as if I had not written the first one.  That deed already has paid incalculable spiritual dividends as new doors and windows of creativity have opened for me as I have been freed from decades of carrying milestones of unforgiveness.  I pray to the Lord Almighty for an equal chance to reestablish a relationship with my father.  Additionally, I contemplate the freedom that I have enjoyed as I have let go of the battles with a previous pastorate and my pursuit of a doctoral degree.  The former opened the door to my next divine assignment in which I assist in leading people to the Lord Jesus Christ and building the kingdom of Almighty God.  The latter will enable me to study the passion of my heart.

Unconditional forgiveness yields unlimited creativity.