Serena Williams' Impressive Example of Perseverance and Graciousness

Serena Williams’ Impressive Example of 

Perseverance and Graciousness

One of the highlights of a recent vacation was my ability and leisure to watch the women’s singles final at this Wimbledon tournament.  Since September 1999 when she won her first major tournament, the U. S. Open, as an enthusiastic, tireless, relenting and hungry seventeen year old competitor with tremendous potential to become one of greatest tennis players, Serena Williams has been one of my athletic and personal heroes.  Commencing her climb to the summits of professional tennis on warped, neglected and seriously deficient courts in Compton, California which the average player and fan of her sport would avoid like the plague, Serena most definitely has pulled herself up by her own bootstraps.  Blending the broad brush strokes of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, the Horatio Algiers’ motif of rags to riches, the myth of the American dream and the self-made person with the particularities of the historical dilemmas of race, class and gender, Williams’ compelling story of triumph encourages and empowers anyone with heartfelt dreams and goals.  As a consequence, it was with great joy that I watched her play this year and win the Wimbledon singles titles two years after a blood clot in her lungs almost took her life.  Although she previously won this most prestigious title of international professional tennis four times, this win held extraordinary meaning with particular gratitude for the ability to achieve it.

Interestingly, Williams played superlatively throughout Wimbledon 2012.  She set a record for aces.  Her renowned and feared service was as phenomenal as ever exceeding previous speeds and accuracy.  Her opponents rarely broke her serve.  In fact, they had to contemplate seriously how they would return the ball considering its force, velocity and precision.  Continually, I marvel at her ability to put the ball just inside the line.  When an opponent requests a review of a call, Williams wins the decision in most instances.  The aces are just inside line.  Her opponents barely have a chance to decide how to return the serve.  Her finesses and maturity demonstrates an important lesson of hard-hitting athletics, specifically, and other forms of competition, generally.  One competes fundamentally with one’s self.  You know internally whether you are competing at your highest level of potential and capability.  Beyond the internationally ranked and superlative opponents she faced, Williams challenges herself to exceed yesterday’s victories.  Perhaps, as she played this year’s tournament, she fought against the danger of ignominiously ending her career via an unexpected, unimaginable and debilitating health threat two years ago.  She competed to defeat the understandable depression, self-pity and despair that potentially combined to write “Finis” on the canvass of her storied tennis career.

During the ceremonies in which a member of the British royal family presented the Ladies Singles Trophy from the All England Lawn Club where tennis began, Williams spoke of ordeal.  Her voice cracked and salty tears equitably flowed as Williams contrasted the summits of winning Wimbledon again with the unpromising isolation and mental paralysis of her recuperation two years ago.  First, she thanked Jehovah, the god of her understanding, upbringing and experience for divine grace and permission in allowing her to recover, play and win.  She then expressed heartfelt and touching gratitude to her parents, siblings and other well-wishers and supporters who watched the match in her box.  Their love and support fueled her determination to play again.  Especially, she offered personal gratitude to her older sister who stayed by Serena’s bedside during the long days and even bleaker nights of her hospitalization.  The compassion of faithful presence defies description as its worth is incalculable in the mind and heart of its recipient. 

As it relates to her sister and fellow tennis professional, Venus, Serena jokingly noted that she tied her older sister’s record with five Wimbledon championships of her own.  “I have always wanted to follow Venus in whatever she does.”  In thanking her parents, she gave them tremendous credit as they continually believe in her and her ability to return to the sport she loves.  Essentially, Williams utilized a period for congratulations to demonstrate the powerful love of family and friends as it relates to cultivating perseverance.

Seminal honors rarely emerge in anyone’s life without affection, affirmation and assistance from people who comprise a team of family and friends.  A pitcher in Major League Baseball cannot attain a “no hitter” game without the professional play and assistance of his teammates.  Quarterbacks who obtain “MVP” designations in the Super Bowl do so because of the hard work of their teammates on the offensive line.  Winners of the best actor and best actress Oscars are integral members of a cast.  Whether on a baseball diamond, football field, set of a block buster movies or the most exalted tennis court in the world, Centre Court at Wimbledon, perseverance depends greatly on this significant relational network.  Whereas a person must learn to encourage and empower himself or herself as he or she doggedly pursues heartfelt dreams and personal ambitions, the affection and affirmation of family and friends essential to achievement, success and excellence.  Williams’ victory remarks reflect the invaluable collective contribution of a support network within personal perseverance.

Still, I admire her individual determination to recuperate and return to tennis.  Her illness and subsequent isolation must have felt like a precipitous drop from the summit of her profession.  One day, she is ranked number one in the world; has won all of the four major tournaments; and begun a fashion and jewelry line in addition to buying shares of ownership in a professional football team as she embraces irreversibly her burgeoning celebrity.  Another day, she wakes up in a post-operative recovery room to learn she nearly lost her death and has a long road to recovery before her.  Will she play tennis again professionally?  Will she be able to compete to the superlative degree she had heretofore? Many of these questions occupied her mind as she lay on the couch during a glacial recuperative period. 

Fighting on a mental court, Serena relentlessly countered the crippling mental, emotional and psychological adversity that would have assuredly terminated her career.  She faithfully undertook the hard regimen of physical therapy and training necessary to restore her competitive excellence.  Within two years, she leaves the valley of the shadow of death and ascends back to the pinnacle of victory where the view is fascinating and limitless.  Her remarkable journey from a near death experience to a fifth Wimbledon title reminds me of a paraphrase of quote by President Richard M. Nixon about defeat, resilience and victory.  “Unless you have traveled the valleys of darkness and defeat and disappointment and sorrow, you can never really appreciate the joys and happiness of the vistas of victory.”

Serena Williams' Impressive Example of Perseverance and Graciousness Part Two

Serena Williams’ Impressive Example of 

Perseverance and Graciousness

Part Two

Serena Williams concluded her Wimbledon 2012 victory remarks with words of praise for her opponent, Agnieszka Radwanska.  Williams asked the audience to give Radwanska a round of applause given her tough competitive edge and steel performance in the finals match.  As I listened, I was very impressed by Williams’ graciousness towards Radwanska.  Actually, throughout her interviews during Wimbledon 2012, Serena offered many gracious comments and descriptions relating to the play of her opponents.  Her graciousness and genuineness simply seeped off the television screen.  Serena’s humility and kindness were borne substantially of her recent health and personal challenges.  Yet, her words remind me of the importance of considering someone else particularly in good times.  Coaches advise athletes to use “I” statements when assessing defeat and failure and “We” statements when explaining a win.  Similarly, a superlative player like Serena Williams can appreciate the expertise, discipline and hard work of an opponent even when her play reaches consummate heights.  Her graciousness reflects her true standing as a tennis champion.

My admiration of Serena Williams extends in equal measure to her father, Richard Williams, who is her coach.  The journey from substandard public tennis courts in Compton, California to Wimbledon inclusive of stops in Melbourne, Australia, Paris, Francis and Flushing Meadows, New York began as a dream in his mind and heart.  He deserves credit as the pioneer of the Williams tennis dynasty which has won ten of the last thirteen Wimbledon titles.  His stalwart support of both of his daughters despite a very public divorce from their mother and the tragic death of one of their older sisters is very commendable.  His pivotal role in laying the foundation for Serena’s and Venus’ success is an impressive example of good parenting.  Cynically, one could suggest he lives vicariously through them.  More reasonably, one concludes he graciously and perhaps providentially saw their potential with the eyes of his heart and devoted his time and talents to encouraging and empowering them to actualize their divine gifts and potential.  When future sports historians record this era of professional tennis, assuredly they will grant him more than a footnote in any analysis or summary of his daughters unparalleled careers.  Beyond the dedication and faithfulness of a loving and supportive father who catapulted his daughters to fame and excellence, he indirectly expanded the horizons of countless aspiring athletes for generations to come.

A final quality of perseverance and graciousness that I celebrate in Serena Williams and her family is their refusal to allow race to define or limit them.  Throughout the nearly fourteen years she has played professionally, I have never heard her discuss race as a factor in her game.  I can only imagine some of the remarks players, their families and fans have made since the time the Williams sisters assumed dominance of professional tennis.  I also cannot believe they have not heard some of these derogatory comments in the locker room, hallway or on the court.  However, they have not allowed anything negative to affect them.  They focused with equivocation on exceeding their prior performance.  The irrelevant opinions and uninformed thoughts of other people do not matter.  Still, they retain their poise and elegance in interviews and off the court.  I greatly desire more of this internal resolve and chutzpah.  Self-acceptance and confidence do not result necessarily in arrogance or haughtiness.  Serena’s ability in exceling despite the triple historical burdens of race, gender and class without defining herself through this prism is an incredible example of self-assurance for anyone pursuing heartfelt dreams against tremendous odds.  She personifies how graciousness and perseverance are the means of success.

I hope Serena maintains the incline of her ascension back to the number one ranking.  As she prepares for the next chapter of her life considering she is thirty years old, conceivably she will commit to sharing her success with young aspirants in tennis.   Sharing time, talents, treasure and temperament with children and youth is one of the most effect ways of influencing the future.  Deposits within their minds, hearts and characters last for a lifetime.  Moreover, teachers, coaches and other role models indirectly influence anyone whom their students teach, coach and mentor.  In addition to sharing her secrets of service, aces, volley returns, analyzing an opponent, exploiting other players’ weaknesses and many other effective techniques for winning, Serena Williams will be able to teach future tennis players and other athletes the codes and character of genuine sportsmanship.  Undoubtedly, she will tell them acquiring these attributes begins with developing perseverance in difficult times and showing graciousness at all times.

Eliminating Negative Thinking - Philippians 4:4-9

Eliminating Negative Thinking – Philippians 4:4-9

The town of Sleepy Hollow unexpectedly experiences its biggest and unimaginable commotion.  The antecedent of this ruckus actually is a daily and impromptu stroll between Mr. Lie and Mr. Truth.  Loud, boisterous, vociferous and loquacious, the former gentleman dresses impeccably with fine designer “knock offs” which he buys at TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Filene’s Basement or various outlets.  Notwithstanding his challenging demeanor, many people who encounter Mr. Lie are seduced by his fashionable and striking outward appearance.  They confuse the volume with which he speaks with authority and certitude.  Coupled with his near original designer clothing, they succumb to the easy temptation of believing his every word.  In a very clear but subtle contrast, Mr. Truth wears authentic designer clothes but without any “bling,” accessories or ostentation.  Many people inadvertently and haphazardly ignore him despite the clarity and reliability of his character.  Nonetheless, these two gentlemen have a chance encounter one morning and end up walking together toward the town of Sleepy Hollow. 

As they travel along the road, they discuss their clear differences about any number of life’s pressing questions.  As the noon sun rises to the middle of the sky and this summer day’s temperatures rise accordingly, they near a large pond.  Mr. Lie suggests they stop and take a skinny dip to escape the heat and refresh themselves.  Mr. Truth complies with this seemingly harmless suggestion.  Once in the water, Mr. Lie silently and secretly begins to covet Mr. Truth’s clothes as Mr. Lie recognizes authenticity when he sees it.  Encouraging Mr. Truth to dip more deeply, Mr. Lie slides away while Mr. Truth is under water.  Mr. Lie steals Mr. Truth’s clothes and heads quickly toward Sleepy Hollow.  Within a quarter of an hour of Mr. Lie’s stealthy departure, Mr. Truth discovers he has been duped.  Furiously, he jumps out of the pond and dashes immediately to Sleepy Hollow.  Upon his arrival, Mr. Truth creates the hugest disturbance ever experienced by the residents of this quaint, rustic, austere and rural town of picturesque dawns, glacial social changes and reflective sunsets.  On this late afternoon as the townspeople gathered in the saloon on the far end of town, they heard this resounding disturbance.  Butt-naked and wailing like a banshee let out of hell, Mr. Truth came screeching, protesting and demanding his clothes back!  Bewildered and awestruck, the refined citizens of Sleepy Hollow stood motionless as they had never encountered the butt-naked truth before.

I hope the preceding story motivates you to accept a raw and naked truth which most people uncritically accept as they attend to their daily affairs.  Most people surrender to negative patterns of thinking without considering an alternative.  We expect negative circumstances to emerge.  We prepare for negative consequences to our choices.  We do not wish to be caught off guards and unawares if something adverse were to occur.  Let’s test my hypothesis about this very normal and human tendency.  Do you have a plan for prosperity?  If you won the lottery or inherited an unexpected sum of money, do you have a plan to maximize this good fortune?  How often are you afraid you will lose something or someone you greatly value?  Do you live with persistent anxiety about money, job security, relationships, health, or your future?  When you contemplate the future, do you expect success and excellence?  Instead, do you simply hope by some mysterious magic or stroke of good luck you will fulfill your dreams and achieve your goals?  Simply, are you better prepared to respond to failure than you are ready to maximize upon success?

At traffic lights, do dangerous scenarios of fatal accidents speed across the horizon of your mind?  Do you begin to sweat profusely when you check your daily mail or online bank accounts?  Do you apply for jobs and other opportunities with a foreboding feeling that you are wasting your time and effort?  Are you able to rebound from disappointments and failures with periods of paralysis and negativity?  Have you made debt a way of life feeling hopeless to live without charging and accumulating more unsecured debt?  Do you have difficulty in throwing things away even when you purchase new items to replace them?  If yes, how long have you been living in lack as you wear excessively mended clothes and cracked shoes?  Does fear invade your loving relationships?  Do you often dread the possibility that the people who are nearest and dearest to your heart will leave suddenly and shockingly?  Does the sum of these negative thoughts consume ninety percent or more of your mental energy? Probably, you are most prone to intractable negative thinking.

As a descendant of African Americans who grew up the century and a half following the end of chattel slavery in the South within a context of segregation and poverty, I marvel at the extreme limitations of this milieu.  Crippling the soul, poverty paralyzes imagination, destroys dreams, limits the world and impedes progress.  Its cumulative and constant affect is ingrained negative thinking which becomes a way of life.  Success in life depends significantly upon whether a person can win an internal struggle to overcome this prevalent mental, emotional and spiritual dilemma.  As a mature personally and grow spiritually in the afternoon of my life, I am dumbfounded by how extensively negative ideas influenced my life heretofore.  Like Charlie Brown who refuses to believe he will ever receive a fair chance to pitch in a baseball game, I had an extremely hard time believing life would grant me a well-deserved opportunity to achieve my potential.  However, I hasten to juxtapose this cultural and contextual negativity with an equally entrenched faith in Almighty God and myself.  At any moment, I fluctuate between these polar opposites. 

Eliminating Negative Thinking - Philippians 4:4-9 - Part Two

Eliminating Negative Thinking – Philippians 4:4-9

Part Two

Most regrettably, I must confess negative thinking heretofore has been a perpetual way of life for me.  With Almighty God’s incredible and unending grace within the last few years, I have begun a substantial paradigm shift.  In accordance with Psalm 27:13, I wholeheartedly expect to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Whereas I do believe in an immeasurable and indefinable eternal reward for disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, I no longer expect to wait for the afterlife to receive it.  As the “Giver of every good and perfect gift,” He will impart graciously components of His rewards in this life.  Eliminating negative thinking is a primary step in preparation for receipt of these divine gifts and favor.

Interestingly, some psychologists and psychiatrists posit an unfair expectation of some segments of society that people from poor and oppressed backgrounds are equipped psychically to withstand greater emotional and existential burdens.  A former First Lady of the United States unfortunately remarked, when assessing the challenging conditions of Hurricane Katrina survivors who were living temporarily in the Superdome, they seemed happy as they are used to dealing with rough living.  Her harsh comments indicate that these people could afford experientially to wait for whatever assistance, government or otherwise, they would receive.  After all, they live a simple life with few frills.  Her assumptions allude to the negative thinking, with which many people live as they limit themselves to minimal enjoyments or interests.  Poor and oppressed are afraid to expect anything from life.  It is safer to settle for basic necessities in the cheapest forms as they will not disappoint.  Nevertheless, this outlook stipulates an unfair expectation for poor and oppressed people to accommodate themselves easily to the life’s hardships.

Although many people have surmounted poverty and political oppression, they still linger in the squalor of negative thinking.  Similar to residents of public housing, trailer parks and rural board houses, these people adjust to whatever adverse circumstances arise each day.  They surrender their hopes and dreams to life’s most formidable enemies, fear and negativity.

Writing to his most beloved church in Philippi, Paul offers effective techniques for eliminating negative thinking in this brief passage.  First, he instructs them to Rejoice in the Lord always.”  Music always comforts and empowers; “[it] soothes the savage beast.”  Regardless of any day’s trials and tribulations, the right music can help you overcome them.  Periods of praise and worship encourage us to see our Heavenly Father as awesome and amazing.  As we offer praise with thanksgiving, we realize He is much greater than any obstacles or adversary we face.  However, our praise of Him does not depend upon our circumstances.  It should be equal in good and bad times as He remains unquestionably faithful regardless of our situation or setting.  Hence, Paul directs the Philippian Christians to rejoice all the time whether on days of rain or sunshine.  In the Greek, the word, rejoice, means literally spinning ecstatically irrespective of your surroundings.  Paul reiterates his directive, “I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Second, at the time of Paul’s letter, the Church expected the imminent return and Second Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Some disciples forewent marriage and other earthly concerns as they relegated them to being essentially and eternally meaningless were the Lord to return within a few years.  As “the Lord is near,” the Philippians were to be gentle and caring with everyone with the objective of winning as many people as possible to the Lord.  They emphasis upon saving souls prevented them from entertaining life’s daily negativity as they looked forward to a joyous eternity.  Actually, it helps sometimes to assess the eternal worth of your problems.  Usually, they pale greatly in comparison with the rewards, rejoicing and righteousness of eternity.

Third, Paul simply and explicitly condemns anxiety and negativity.  “Do not be anxious about anything.”  Below, I offer a few practical techniques for eliminating negative thinking.  Yet, Paul states the fundamental and primary necessity of annihilating negative thinking.  Despite where you began life, you cannot progress toward your dreams and goals if you perpetually entertain and nurse doubt, skepticism and complaints.  That mentality questions God’s character as it indicts His past faithfulness.  Is He really able to assist me as I struggle with today’s major challenge?  Negative thinking disregards the biblical promise of divine provision of every need and our Heavenly Father’s sworn testimony through Jesus Christ that He will never leave or forsake us.  We are not helpless and powerless in any situation.  God does no abandon us like orphans left in a crowded public area without any clue.  As His love is unfailing and His faithfulness unquestionable, we have absolutely no need to be anxious about anything we experience.

“In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  Prayer and meditation are the most effective means of eliminating negative thoughts.  A cardinal spiritual discipline, prayer allows us to speak frankly, honestly, freely and openly with our Heavenly Father about our feelings, desires, needs and problems.  We petition Him for wisdom, guidance, peace and resolution.  A victim of perpetual sexual molestation, incest and abuse, Celie, one of the main characters in Alice Walker’s The Color Purple, talks with God about her predicament in a very raw manner.  A colleague once shared his need to swear openly and loudly toward the nighttime heavenly skies in order to ensure God heard him.  Hopefully, we can dispense with religious rituals and other formalities as we pray.  Legalisms about prayer such as the physical posture in which a person prays, the length of the prayer or the order of the wording and requests often detracts significantly from the empowerment and encouragement of this essential spiritual practice. 

Eliminating Negative Thinking - Philippians 4:4-9 - Part Three

Eliminating Negative Thinking – Philippians 4:4-9

Part Three

The other side of this divine conversation is meditation in which we listen to the Holy Spirit as He answers our inquiries and requests.  Our Heavenly Father desires to grant us His loving wisdom and guidance.  Regrettably, we fail to listen as we will not allow the Lord to impart His answer.  Has a relative or friend ever called you seeking your counsel? When this person finally pauses, you begin to share your perspective and offer feedback only to be interrupted rudely by an overly anxious person who talks a mile a minute and need to vent.  We respond to our Heavenly Father in a similar manner.  Fear, doubt and panic permeate our minds and hearts.  Accordingly, we do not allow Him to get a word in edgewise.  However, when we do, He lovingly and graciously surprises us with His infinite compassion and amazing counsel.  In many instances, we realize we are always in His protection and care; thus we need not fret or worry.  Meditation upon His perfect past provision and care equips us to look for its continuance despite the shifting sands of time.  He remains the same yesterday, today and forever.  In moments of silent meditation, we hear His caring voice and feel His loving presence. 

Incidentally, our petitions should be as specific as possible.  God rarely deals with generalities.  His perfect knowledge of our situation yields an equally ideal response.  Ask for exactly what you need!  Bottom line your request.  Have you had the experience of having to pull a request out of someone?  It is evident what they want and need.  They stall and hint hoping you will state their exact need as an indirect way of volunteering to meet it.  Whereas these tactics offend us because the people who make the requests should know us well enough to ask directly, they also offend the holy and loving character of our Heavenly Father who possesses perfect knowledge of our circumstances and loves us unfailingly.  Ask specifically.  Seek diligently.  Knock loudly.

Gratitude is the polar opposite of negativity.  Each remembrance of thanksgiving removes the temptation to fret over things we do not have.  Being thankful is the surest means of always seeing the proverbial glass as half full rather than half empty.  “Gratitude in the attitude” is a wise saying which recommends that we train our minds and hearts to look for something for which to be grateful in every occurrence.  Recently, a cancer survivor shared with our First and Third Tuesday Prayer Meeting that she was grateful for every difficult day on which she was sick and could eat or rest because it was another day in the land of the living and one closer to the healing she eventually received.  An attorney friend who underwent open heart by-pass surgery late last fall shares his gratitude of being spared a heart attack which would have damaged irretrievably his heart muscle and possibly ended his life.  Embedded in the endings of job loss, broken engagements, career ending injuries, divorce and even death are new unimaginable beginnings that emerge through the lenses of thanksgiving.  Simply stated, gratitude enables a person to accentuate the positive and resist the tendency to dwell upon negative factors.

Divine peace annihilates negative thoughts as head and heart agree to seek and implement God’s will.  In fact, God’s presence and His shalom prevents anxiety, fear and negativity from invading a disciple’s mind or heart.  The Greek words that Paul uses in this passage paint a vivid picture of a sentinel standing guard at all hours of the day and night.  No one enters the gates of the palace without identifying himself and being granted permission.   Should someone possibly evade the watchman and armed guard, the latter person shouts loudly, “Halt, who goes there?”  If the guard receives any threat of force or further resistance, he fires his weapon to neutralize and even annihilate this potential danger to himself and the people who he protects.  Afterwards, he arrests the assailant and arranges a proper adjudication of his violation.  The Holy Spirit performs a similar function for disciples as He imparts remembrances of our Heavenly Father’s unconditional and unfailing love and faithful provision.  These reflections equate with firing rounds ammunition to eliminate threats to our well-being.  He impedes the beginnings and development of negativity.  Further, the Holy Spirit reassures us of the Father’s gracious gift of divine power as He comforts us as we overcome these mental, emotional and spiritual tests.  In Latin, the word, comfort, is a combination of cum (with) and fortis (power or fortitude).  Practically, the Holy Spirit comes to us with spiritual dynamite and godly wisdom to assist us in resolving our daily dilemmas.

Additionally, Paul says God’s peace surpasses human understanding.  It does not lend itself to religious formulas and clichés.  Living is peace is not merely the absence of emotional turmoil.  Rather, it is the presence of security, stability and blessed assurance in both head and heart.  Completing a detailed pros and cons lists with a majority of favorable factors does not yield peace when making a paramount decision relating to love, work, health or finances.  Usually, determining whom to marry, which house to buy, whether to accept a job offer, when to move or any number of other main choices is a matter of attaining peace.  How do you know if you are making the right decision?  Certainly, examining the financial, relational, political, spiritual and personal implications for a reasonable and satisfactory answer is necessary.  Yet, a logical evaluation in and of itself will not grant divine peace.  Intellectually, all circumstances may appear fine yet you may still have a foreboding feeling.  Is this the right decision for me and my family?  You cannot experience God’s peace and personal angst simultaneously.  Pay attention to the internal questions and voice. 

Ask our Heavenly Father for His wisdom and guidance in which He will reveal previously undisclosed facts and hidden variables.  His mystical, magnificent and mysterious orchestration of our daily affairs resolves all challenges, provides every need and imparts His peace.  In my move from Nashville, TN to Cambria Heights, NY to accept my current pastorate, Almighty God perfectly coordinated every single detail.  Literally, everything my family and I needed for this move was given exactly when we needed.  In the two years since the move, by God’s grace we have “lived into the move” and proactively affirmed our decision.  Hence, we know with the Lord’s assurance that we made the right decision.  Our hearts and minds maintain symmetry of peace as we daily express gratitude for God’s peace as we moved one thousand and eight hundred miles to a new place for our children as they near adolescence and my mother-in-law as she faces the challenges of her autumn years.  Simple rationality would not have sufficed to yield the blessed quietness we feel.

Eliminating Negative Thinking - Philippians 4:4-9 - Part Four

Eliminating Negative Thinking – Philippians 4:4-9

Part Four

“An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”  That adage advises hearers to keep busy in meaningful and worthwhile pursuit as sitting idly potentially leads to dangerous choices and even more despairing consequences.  Lazily watching television and playing video games creates mental vacuums for fear, doubt and negativity to fill.  Paul suggests ideas to the Philippians for their quiet times of reflection.  He exhorts them to think about truth, nobility, justice, purity, love, admiration, excellence and anything else that may be praiseworthy.  If disciples occupy their minds and hearts with these spiritual ideals, then they do not allow negativity an inch in their consciousness.

Paul concludes the passage with a final remark of assurance of God’s peaceful presence.  But, his last recommendation to the Philippian Christians is an instruction to apply “whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.”  The best means of determining the worth of any sermon is assessing its practical application in your life.  Most unfortunately, many churches follow the secular and humanistic trends of American popular culture with an emphasis of entertainment and feeling good.  These hedonistic impulses stipulate the value of a sermon or worship experience depends significantly upon their abilities to make listeners feel good or leave with a sense of enjoyment similar to departing a movie theatre or concert hall.  In great contrast, Paul warns the Philippians against such emotional responses which mimicked the licentiousness and permissive immorality of the Roman Empire during the first century.  Discipleship development, individually and congregationally, depends heavily upon willingness, discipline and commitment to apply Christian principles within daily living.

To that end, I offer five practical applications for eliminating negative thinking.  First, parallel to the image of the sentinel standing guard, learn to arrest negative thoughts as they begin to solidify.  Do not allow them to cross the threshold of your lips.  Immediately apprehend them and discard them.  Second, replace negative thoughts with positive reflections of God’s past faithfulness in your life.  Maturing as a person of faith means developing a more genuine reliance upon God’s unquestionable faithfulness toward you.  As He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore, He does not lose power to resolve your challenges.  As the burdens increase and the tests become more insurmountable, He gives more grace.  He will resolve today’s obstacles as assuredly as He empowered you to conquer yesterday’s trials.  In the words of the hymn writer, think of His goodness to you. 

Third, cultivate the character of perpetual thanksgiving in all matters.  Grateful people are rarely negative, fearful or skeptical.  They rely steadfastly upon God’s goodness.  Give thanks at all times.  Fourth, affirm the Word of God in times of testing.  Ask the Holy Spirit to share a few memory verses with you.  Meditate and affirm them by repeating them aloud as many times as necessary until they seep deeply within the crevices of your mind, closets of your heart and cellars of your psyche.  Fifth, ask for God’s peace.  In the familiar passage of John 14:1-6, the Lord Jesus Christ comforts the disciples regarding His impending betrayal, denial, desertion and death.  “Let not your hearts be troubled; you believe in God; believe also in Me.”  As we rest in His peace, fear and negativity will never be able to afflict us.  Our heads and hearts will agree and praise His accordingly as we intellectually and emotionally affirm His Word.  More practically, we experience wellness, healing and wholeness as we eliminate negative thinking.

Ann Curry's Graciousness and Magnanimity of Character

Ann Curry’s Graciousness and Magnanimity of Character

I write to applaud Anny Curry for her indescribable graciousness and magnanimity of character in her recent response to the unjust termination of her role as a Today Show co-host.  I contend the network executives at NBC erred grossly in making her the scapegoat because of the declining ratings.  After years as the unchallenged number one morning news and entertainment program in the United States, the Today Show experienced a drop to second place.  Surpassed by a competing show which successfully lured away viewers from yet another competitor, NBC Today Show executives decided they needed to take direct, firm and bold action to remedy this hemorrhage of its viewing audience.  They mistakenly looked for the most obvious and convenient person to blame for their woes.  Ann Curry whom they promoted a year ago became the personification of their decline in ratings.  Although she did not deserve this unjust treatment, Ann Curry conducted herself with poise, professionalism and graciousness.  Her example will help many younger professionals in the future as they encounter similar inequitable and unfair circumstances.

News reports revealed Curry did not originally retain an agent in her contract negotiations with NBC.  After fourteen years with the network and the Today Show where she began as a news anchor, Curry proactive sense of loyalty toward people with whom she worked for nearly a decade and a half and of whom she had grown rather fond led to her support of a mutually beneficial agreement without a third party who could potentially damage her relationships.  In retrospect, it appears NBC executives relegated her misguided loyalty as being a weakness in her character.  In a very demeaning manner, they leaked their upper level discussions about replacing her as the remedy to their newfound woes.  What should have remained a very private and confidential matter until a resolution had been achieved became fodder for the twenty-four hour news cycle.  Her future role in network news hung in the balance as myriad pundits offered their “two cents worth” of analysis.  Still, Curry conducted herself with character and class as she resisted the easy temptation to send numerous disparaging tweets, emails and text messages.  Apparently, she enjoys a large Twitter following who could have pounced on the juicy, succulent flesh of gossip, innuendo and insult.  Refusing to descend to such depths of character, Curry protected her interests and those of her family as she retained legal counsel and remained silent.  Her wisdom demonstrates powerfully silence can resound and resolve an unjust situation if used appropriately.

Approximately a week before her last day as a co-host on the Today Show, most news agencies reported the possibility that Curry may refuse to appear on the show.  A flurry of Internet stories stated the backup plan of NBC executives to fly a coworker into New York City from another city to cover were Curry absent.  Instead, epitomizing acceptance, confidence and professionalism, she arrived promptly at work and sent a minimalist yet sincere tweet to her following.  Again, she exemplified self-esteem, poise and an incredible work ethic from which undeserving persons benefited.

Ann Curry's Graciousness and Magnanimity of Character Part Two

Ann Curry’s Graciousness and Magnanimity of Character

Part Two

Curry’s response to the unprofessional and humiliating way in which NBC news executives handled her departure reflects the importance of personal adherence to moral and ethical principles despite the failure of others to treat you similarly.  At a time when morality and values are in such decline in our nation, generally, and businesses, specifically, it is refreshing and instructive to observe someone uphold the necessity of integrity in a public arena.  I imagine how difficult this situation must have been for her as she did nothing to warrant the outcome.  Assuredly, angry thoughts filled her mind and thirst for revenge formed in her heart.  Yet, she drew upon magnanimity of character that enabled her to show us how to personify respect, meekness and graciousness in tough times and turbulent circumstances.

On the day of her departure from the Today Show, a retrospective segment of her year as co-host detailed two seminal contributions she made.  First, Curry almost singlehandedly obtained NBC’s agreement to feature the plight and challenges of military families with severely wounded veterans.  As the war in Iraq ended and the one in Afghanistan nears cessation, arguably the people who have made the greatest sacrifices have been overlooked and taken for granted.  Kudos to Ann Curry for ensuring these fellow citizens did not remain invisible.  Second, through her physically bold reporting inclusive of jumping out of planes, bungee jumping and other feats, Curry encouraged viewers to live the lives they imagine.  Personally, she exhibited the very best examples of the biblical directive to “weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.”  Genuinely, she cares for people when she interviews them in the midst of life’s summits and valleys.  Her joy and tears are authentic.  Many reporters appear to lapse into impromptu acting with coerced facial expressions of glee and sadness.  Curry in stark contrast always communicates a level of sincerity that really touches those of us in her viewing audience.

Ann Curry graciousness was most evident during the brief moments of her final segment as a co-host.  I really appreciated her refusal to “sugarcoat” the dastardly deeds that eventuated in her departure.  “This is not the way in which I expected to leave this couch.”  Moreover, I was particularly moved by her very personal and heartfelt apology to “those of you who saw me as a standard bearer.  I am so sorry that I was not able to get across the finish line.  I want you to know that I really tried.”  I suspect Curry is the first woman or person of Asian descent to have had a co-host job in morning television.  I imagine her promotion was an inspiration to so many young girls of any racial or ethnic origin and particularly to young people of Eastern and Asian backgrounds.  Apparently, she saw the necessity of success and her comparable work ethic as a trust to encourage and empower them as they formulate their dreams and pursue goals.  I admire her personal consideration of these future professionals and their potential to exceed her achievements.  Although it was not necessary, her apology was most touching.

Finally, on the day on which NBC announced officially that Anny Curry would replace Meredith Viera as co-host on the Today Show, a collage of interviews and well wishes from people with as divergent interests as former First Lady Laura Bush to Ann Curry’s husband and children.  I found the remarks from her family particularly encouraging as they facially beamed pride and verbally affirmed her.  I pray those words will sustain and continually encourage her as she progresses through this current dark night of the soul enroute to the vistas of a more brilliant and unimaginable dawn.

An Ode to the Late Lieutenant Columbo & The Actor, the Late Peter Falk

An Ode to the Late Lieutenant Columbo &

The Actor, the Late Peter Falk

Last year, the famed and venerable actor, Peter Falk died after an extended period of illness.  He is best known for his television portrayal of Lieutenant “Frank” Columbo although Falk’s career included an extensive body of work including stage theatre, multiple movies and directing.  A victim of his incredible success in this role, Falk and Lt. Lieutenant Columbo became virtually inseparable.  Despite the complexity and diversity of other roles, Falk was type-casted as the curmudgeon detective with a tattered trench coat, worn suit, cracked shoes and green, cheap cigar.  In a recent children’s movie, he played a grandfather who read stories at bedtime.  Glancing at the screen, I remarked silently “Lt. Columbo is reading bedtime stories.”  My comment did not denigrate the versatile talents of an accomplished master of the craft of acting.  Instead, my silent utterance is a fan’s statement of praise for Falk’s inimitable depiction of a brilliant, confident, wise, discerning, pragmatic, principled and humble but beguiling fictional detective who appeared real. 

I am proud and loyal member of the Lt. Columbo fan club.  As a child who came of age in the seventies, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the NBC Mystery Movie which aired each Sunday night following a sporting event, Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and a family show.  In addition to Dennis Weaver’s depiction of McCloud, a cowboy detective who moves to New York City, Rock Hudson and Susan St. James’ portrayal of McMillan and Wife and Heck Ramsey’s steadfast pursuit of Western frontier justice, Columbo aired once a month.  My childhood admiration of Lt. Columbo led me to keep my rain jacket on while I watched the show.  As I matured, I realize I particularly respected his unconditional self-acceptance and willingness to be true to himself regardless of his extensive number of eccentricities and the opinions of other people.  My purchase of the entire collection of Columbo movies demonstrates my lifelong devotion. 

As I reflect on the life of Peter Falk and the completion of the corpus of Lt. Columbo movies, I consider the many spiritual lessons embedded in the character and work of this fictional detective.  He personified Jesus’ admonishment to be as wise as serpent but as gentle as a dove.  Many guilty criminals grossly underestimate his brilliance and perception.  They judge him solely on the basis of his torn and tattered clothing.  They presume their intellectual superiority.   Accordingly, they expect to deceive him into believing someone else committed the crime.  They are certain they will succeed in escaping justice because they presume Lt. Columbo cannot possibly prove their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.  Epitomizing the wisdom of experience, he leaves them in their folly.  He ironically twists their arrogance to his advantage and fascinatingly manipulates them into leading him to the clues and evidence to prove his suspicions and their guilt.  When the criminal discovers Lt. Columbo has outwitted him or her, it is too late.  The only realistic choice is a plea of guilty as a precursor to negotiating a more lenient sentence.  Still, after watching many of these movies several times each, I revere Lt. Columbo’s self-restraint and internal fortitude.  He knows his abilities, talents, intelligence and strengths.  It does not matter whether other people appreciate them.  He relies genuinely upon his inner fortitude.

An Ode to the Late Lieutenant Columbo & The Actor, The Late Peter Falk - Part Two

An Ode to the Late Lieutenant Columbo &

The Actor, the Late Peter Falk

Part Two

Not surprisingly, Lt. Columbo’s proletariat veneer cloaked his very stalwart and uncompromising principles of truth, justice, law and morality.  “When it comes to murder, there are no extenuating circumstances.”  Admittedly, each murderer deserves the presumption of innocence; but when proven guilty, he or she equally deserves punishment to the fullest extent of the law.  In many cases, Columbo works many overtime hours and surmounts awkward obstacles to verify a murderer’s guilt.  He visits his suspects so often that they find relief in their arrests as they will no longer have to interact with Columbo.  These numerous visits actually erode the mental defenses and psychological security of the suspects.  Lt. Columbo steadfastly pursues the truth and evidence regardless of the temporary personal humiliation he suffers.  From his Los Angeles Police Department superiors to politicians to Hollywood’s social upper echelon in music, acting and entertainment, Columbo withstands indifference, ridicule and dismissiveness.  A corrupt police commissioner receives the same thorough scrutiny as that of a demented, unrequited widow who blames others for her late husband’s prison sentence for racketeering, extortion and embezzlement.  In approach and practice, Lt. Columbo demonstrates effective means of persevering in one’s principles.

Mostly, I desire to cultivate Lt. Columbo’s authenticity and humility which are incalculable characteristics of mature disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.  His self-acceptance empowers him to live with integrity in his dealings with all persons regardless of their social strata, education, residence, pedigree, profession or other distinctions.  In several cases, he admits to his suspect a mutual level of dislike though he does not allow personal animus to impede the fairness and thoroughness of his investigations.  Upon arrest, most criminals actually thank Columbo for his just treatment as they realize they prejudged him but yet were the recipients of his fundamental senses of fairness.  His example teaches all of us the importance of humility particularly when a person possesses multiple gifts and intelligences.  He forsakes the easy temptation to flaunt his abilities.  Knowing his self-worth, he rests securely in his resources knowing he will employ them as he needs to do so.  Rather than affirming the presumption of limited cognitive abilities and knowledge, Columbo’s hard veneer veils his meekness, strength under pressure.  His self-effacing exterior deceives his opponents into believing they can discard anything he says.  His powerful humility is a reserve of immeasurable skills and talents which he applies as his years of wisdom and experience dictates.

Throughout my life, I have been a diehard van of Lt. Columbo.  Possessing a childhood “Walter Smitty” daydream of mimicking Encyclopedia Brown about whom I read as much as my school and local libraries had, I concluded I found a television and adult version of this children’s literature character in Lt. Columbo.  Eagerly, I watched the movies as their aired originally on NBC.  In time, I bought the entire collection of DVDs to enjoy for the balance of my life as I will continually view these movies again and again.  Most surprisingly, I serendipitously discovered spiritual lessons embedded in Falk’s exquisite acting.  Lt. Columbo’s wisdom, discernment, principles, authenticity and humility will challenge me to live with similar integrity as a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Columbo would end a conversation with a suspect with the immortal words, “Just one more thing.”  Of course, there was not another thing but several items which enabled him to delve more deeply into the mind of the criminal.  But, I have really have just one more thing to say about Falk and the incredible fictional detective whom he played.  “Thank you.”

Authenticity - An Antidote to Relational and Personal Pain

Authenticity 

An Antidote to Relational and Personal Pain

What is the best method of preventing betrayal and other forms of personal pain that emerge from broken and unhealthy relationships?  In a word, it is Authenticity.  When we share our genuine feelings and honest thoughts with people, we considerably decrease the possibility of deceit, manipulation, swindling and betrayal.  If we simply state our intentions and desires with integrity and allow other people, particularly family and friends, to respond accordingly, then we rarely feel as if someone took advantage of us.

Chances are you can recall multiple instances of extending yourself through the gifts of your time, talents, treasure and temperament to help someone in need only to receive a thankless or hurtful response.  Ironically, as a clergyperson and pastor, I encounter myriad people from very diverse walks of life who assume I should be always ready to help them.  Erroneously, they presume someone in my profession must be willing to help anyone and everyone in need regardless of the expense.  An articulated need in my hearing should receive a direct and immediate response.  Acquiescing this naïve view of my calling in my earlier years, I succumbed to “people pleasing” and went above and beyond the call of duty to satisfy the emotional, mental, psychological, financial and spiritual needs of congregants and community residents.  My family indirectly suffered as a result of lengthy counseling sessions, trips to the hospital in the early morning hours, postponed family outings because of work and other inconveniences as it relates to our standard of living and quality of life.  Ironically, in a very personal and professional time of need, the people whom I had helped the most said and did absolutely nothing.  At a congregational meeting in which my character was called into question, not one member of a large family in the church to whom I had given consistent pastoral services stood and offered a word in my defense!  Nevertheless, I have a sneaky suspicion and very funny feeling I am not alone.  Assuredly, you can relate to my detriment as you have given your heart and soul to family and friends whose indifference simply trampled upon your graciousness and generosity.

An old adage offering wisdom about lending money to relatives and friends recommends “Don’t lend it unless you can do without it.”  This straightforward principle of good financial stewardship stipulates denying a request for a loan regardless of the depth and breadth of the need if you need the money and will expect repayment.  If you are able with impunity to lend the money because you will be fine even if it is not repaid, then you lend it without expecting repayment.  Should you surprisingly receive repayment, then you rejoice over your unexpected surplus.  Practically, this maxim eliminates the concept of a loan or debt which adversely affects relationships.  No one really likes the idea of being in someone else’s debt.  Essentially, you forego the concept of a loan and elect to give a gift as you value your relationship as being greater than any amount of money.  This monetary principle seeks appreciation in relationship rather than funds. 

Authenticity emerges from applying the foregoing principle in our daily affairs particularly with family, friends and colleagues.  When we extend ourselves to help other people, we do so proactively choosing to offer our help for selfless reasons without expecting anything in return even the simple words, “Thank you.”  If you choose to help someone, you do so believing it is the right thing to do and because you can without unduly harming yourself.  Quite frankly, you may help someone because you feel like helping them; the converse is equally appropriate, if you do not care to inconvenience yourself then the most helpful thing you can do is honestly tell them to find someone else.  Certainly, you recall the hissing sounds of frustration of someone who agrees to help you even he or she really does not care to do so.  It is as if they perpetually punish you throughout the favor.  Regrettably, they are unable to state honestly their inability and unwillingness to help.  Their authenticity means more than a half-hearted favor.  

Authenticity - An Antidote to Relational and Personal Pain Part II

Authenticity 

An Antidote to Relational and Personal Pain

Part II

Acceptance and awareness are important components of authenticity.  In “The Great Commandment” (Matthew 22:34-40), the Lord Jesus distills the entire teaching Law and Prophets into a two-part dictate.  Love Almighty God with our whole being and love our neighbors as we love ourselves.  In order to fulfill the second part of this divine law of love, we must first love ourselves as unconditionally as God loves us.  Self-acceptance is the beginning of self-love.  The latter is very hard to attain these days as society bombards average persons with unrealistic standards of beauty, fame, fortune and success.  Self-worth depends heavily upon material acquisition and physicality.  Unless you have a six-figure salary or seven-figures or greater net worth and possess a face and physique suitable for a magazine cover, you are not allowed to value yourself.  In stark contrast, the Psalter insists each person is “fearfully and wonderfully made in the innermost depths of the Earth” by Almighty God.  Every person is a unique child of God.  I posit the necessity of unconditionally accepting the Psalter’s view of humankind as the foundation of self-acceptance.  Appreciating yourself without the need to explain, defend, justify, excuse or apologize for your tastes, talents, interests, preferences, views or quirks yields authenticity. 

Awareness emerges from self-evaluation which is an important daily spiritual discipline.  Whether upon awakening in the morning, during the middle of the day after lunch, leaving work and traveling home or just before falling asleep, it is help to practice what Howard Thurman characterizes as “a strange freedom.”  This period of prayer and meditation equates with withdrawal from life’s busyness to examine one’s life.  What is my mission and purpose in life?  How do I best serve God and humankind?  What are my current fears?  Have I forgiven anyone and everyone of anything and everything that have ever done to harm me?  Am I grateful for life’s enduring riches of love, joy, peace, truth and justice? Am I using my God given creativity and talents?  Do I unconditionally accept myself?  Answers to personally relevant versions of these questions yield increasing self-awareness which determines how we use our time, abilities and energy.  Clarity helps us honestly decide whether we can or care to help someone in need.

Are you being more authentic with people?  Most assuredly, I can answer that question in the affirmative.  Daily, I pray for spiritual wisdom and discernment as I leave home.  I hope to maximize each day by completing the most meaningful tasks.  Utilizing the enduring encouragement of the “Serenity Prayer,” I seek God’s guidance for the best use of my time and talents.  What are the activities in which I most suited to make the best contribution?  Unlike the Apostle Paul, I am unable to all things to all people.  Realistically, I no longer have the desire to attempt such a Herculean feat.  Moreover, I seek clarity about my motives.  Are my intentions honorable and reasonable?  Am I participating to fill a lingering intrapersonal and emotional need which I hope to satisfy with the fleeting and usually insincere praise of people?  Today, I can simply let my “Yes” be “Yes and my “No” be “No.”  If I help someone, I do so with the primary objective of honoring and glorifying Almighty God.  Should they thank me, then I hope to accept their gratitude as humbly and graciously as I can.  If they do not, then I accept the thanks of my Heavenly Father.  If I do not help a person, I recognize I am unable to do so for any number of reasons.  Further, I acknowledge in some instances I elect not to help because I do care to do so.  Ultimately, they will not suffer as God will put them and their needs on the hearts and minds of other people who are better suited than me.  I will live with integrity today I honestly deal with people about my heartfelt desires and willingness.  I will be authentic.

When I am authentic, I remove the possibility of relational and personal pain.  I cannot be hurt by any outcomes as I only engage those commitments that I can embrace wholeheartedly.  I expect nothing in return.  I invest in those persons and projects that are most meaningful to me.  I share with integrity and without equivocation my genuine feelings and thoughts.  I attempt to fulfill “The Great Commandment” by loving Almighty God with my whole being and sharing His love with my neighbor.  When I commit for the right reasons and with sincerity, I am authentic.  Thus, I cannot be hurt.  My authenticity is the surest antidote to emotional and existential pain.

Reflections on the Life and Legacy of Whitney Houston

Reflections on the Life and Legacy of Whitney Houston

As I returned to our bedroom after a nice lengthy hot shower on a Sunday morning, my wife informed me of the overnight death of Whitney Houston.  This sad and very unfortunate news concretized a longstanding fear I suspect I shared with countless millions of fans of Whitney.  Allegations about uncontrollable alcohol and drug addictions plagued her for decades.  Each day during those tumultuous years, I imagine my fellow fans joined me in whispering a quick, silent and sincere prayer that “Sister Whitney” would receive the necessary grace to surmount her demons.  While we continually enjoyed her music and its enrichment of our daily lives, we hoped she would defeat her emotional and psychological foes.  We envisioned a triumphant swan song returning her to the heights of her vocal beginnings of the early seventies.  In stark contrast, we learned she exited life’s stage as a victim of a drug and alcohol induced stupor while slipping underwater and drowning during a bath.  What incredibly ignominious pauperism for a woman to whom Almighty God gave the voice of an angel! 

From the very first time I heard “The Greatest Love of All” as my sibling and I finished eating breakfast before catching the school bus, I was hooked irretrievably on her and her music.  Each time I have heard the song since, it reawakens the acceptance, confidence and peace I felt that morning.  Parenthetically, as a Christian, I realize the “greatest love of all” equates with “The Great Commandment” (Matthew 22:34-40) which admonishes us to love Almighty God with our whole being and our neighbors as equally as we love ourselves.  Practically, we cannot love ourselves without also loving humankind in manner that respects the dignity and personhood of everyone.  Nonetheless, I recall vividly thinking to myself “This woman has the voice of an angel.”  Eagerly, I awaited her further recordings.  Not surprisingly, I developed a slight crush on her as her music paralyzed me whether on the radio or television.  Unable to afford them at the time, I resolved then I would own every recording of hers someday.  Given her legitimately characterized untimely death, I am happy I achieved my personal goal by the time of her tragic end.

Tears sting my face as I lament Whitney Houston’s demise and death.  It really hurts to see the irony of how fame, fortune and success rob her of a divinely given gift.  At the time of her inimitable recording, “I Will Always Love You,” unquestionably she was the best female vocalist on Earth.  Regardless of the genre whether operatic arias, solo pieces in classical oratorios, gospel anthems, jazz or rhythm and blues, no one could match or surpass her vocal range.  Her achievements professionally deserved superlative descriptions and unparalleled critical acclaim.  Yet, they were undermined simultaneously by extreme personal adversities and character defects revealed publicly via paparazzi and myriad media sources.  Cumulatively, these personal challenges yielded the irreversible loss of her voice.  Beyond the pain of her death, it was equally hurtful to watch as she tried to regain music’s summit.  It was dreadful to observe her ignorance of the fact that she no longer possessed the internal gift or resources for the climb.  It seems as if each attempt resulted in her further descent into the depths of addiction, humiliation and despair.  I suspect innumerable fans shared my agony and angst as I said a long good bye to a woman who so greatly enriched our lives.

In her death, Whitney Houston teaches us how to live.  Once again, we regrettably learn from the expensive and excessive mistakes of someone whom we love and greatly admired.  Her tragic ending shocks us into re-examining the true rewards of celebrity, financial gain and professional achievement.  How does a person integrate character, talents, ambition and values to fulfill his or her dreams and goals?  How does a person maintain integrity upon achieving “success” in whatever form it evolves?  How does a successful person surround himself or herself with the right circle of family and friends who will encourage and empower him or her to define and develop a better self?  News reports proffer that a few persons were in an adjacent room of the hotel suite where Whitney Houston took her fatal bath.  How could they have allowed an inebriated woman to take a bath?  Notwithstanding the invitation-only funeral attended by a Hollywood “A” list of contemporary celebrities from divergent entertainment, athletic and business venues, Whitney Houston died alone.  One wonders whether any of these persons genuinely reached toward her to establish a meaningful friendship that may have prevented her regrettable ending.  Each human life offers lessons for all of us.  “Sister Whitney’s” life will forever remind us to ask hard questions of ourselves and of the people whom we love.

However much I wholeheartedly wish we could reverse time and rescue Whitney Houston, I accept she has transitioned to eternal life.  As she has been interred into blessed rest, may she find the peace that eluded her when she walked amongst her.  Her incredible musical legacy will inspire children for many years to come.  From karaoke bars to wedding receptions to drives down the freeways of our nation to IPods as we exercise and as a backdrop to life’s many demands, we will still have the voice of this angel.  In death, she will remain as unique as she was in life.  Summarily, I say to “Sister Whitney,”  “Thank you for your too brief sojourn amongst us.  I really wish it could have been longer.  Were it in my power, I would have subtracted the myriad adversities that impeded you.  Yet, they don’t overshadow your incalculable contribution to the well-being and inspiration of humankind.  Many thanks for using your gift to teach us about love of God, self and each other.  We will always love you.”

Reflections on the Life and Legacy of Don Cornelius, "Mr. Soul Train"

Reflections on the Life and Legacy of Don Cornelius,

“Mr. Soul Train”

In the several months since the regrettable suicide that took the life of Don Cornelius, “Mr. Soul Train,” I continue to pay homage to a brother who mainstreamed Rhythm & Blues and Soul music.  Using the medium of one of the longest syndicated shows on television, Cornelius revealed to the citizenry of United States of America an openly hidden treasure.  His “Black Nationalist” impulses catapulted previously marginalized and ghettoized genres of “Black music” and African American vocalists and musicians into generally accepted audiences and venues.  In time, the wizards of Madison Avenue would underlay this music in television commercials.  Relentlessly maintaining its projections of Black stereotypes, even Hollywood executives began to utilize R & B and Soul music in movie sound tracks inevitably boosting ticket and record sales.  Initially, this music was the songs and recordings that Black folk listened to as they persevered through the racial hardships of the century and a half following slavery.  Because of Don Cornelius’ visionary impulses, it became the music that America listens to whether in the marketplace, using personal electronics or on the airwaves.

As one of the millions of African Americans who grew up to the “classic sounds of Soul and R & B” in the seventies, I easily dip in a treasure trove of childhood memories of the “good ole days when music was really music.”  As I write, I see in my mind’s eye my siblings and myself gathering around our black and white television set on a Saturday morning as we anxiously awaited “Soul Train.”  Living in a small town in South Carolina, we watched eagerly to learn the new dances that emanated from the urban centers of the Northeast and Midwest.  By the time a dance reached us, it was old stock in New York, Philadelphia, Chicago or Los Angeles.  Yet, “Soul Train” was our main and most reliable source of transmission.  After all, relatives only visited annually during the summertime and the Internet was inconceivable at the time. 

Moreover, watching “Soul Train” yielded insights into emerging fashion trends in the Black community.  From dashikis to bell bottom slacks to double knit polyester leisure suits to Afros to gerry curls  to fades, “Soul Train” kept us informed as to the what was cool and in style.  Airing just before shopping trips, the show had the power to determine that afternoon’s purchases.  Further, the show brought a sense of racial, ethnic and cultural pride into the provincialism of an American Southern rural setting.  Undoubtedly, we discussed it on the bus rides to school on the following Monday morning.  It gave us a reason to “Say it loud.  I’m Black and I’m proud.”  Indeed, we were Black and proud notwithstanding the derogatory images and caricatures perpetrated by the dominant culture.  As television legitimized anyone or any issue in those days, “Soul Train” essentially showed America that Black people possessed style, ability and music worth emulating.

As I reflect upon Don Cornelius’ life and legacy, I consider the incalculable debt we owe him.  I hope in the annals of history his life will be accorded more than a footnote primarily summarizing the unfortunate relational and intrapersonal dilemmas that resulted in his suicide.  Rather, I hope a future generation will venerate him for his insight.   Cornelius ingeniously expanded upon the Civil Rights and Black Power movements using market forces and popular culture to win respectability for African American culture.  Realizing the power of music to communicate a message and transform a society’s worldview, Cornelius withstood whatever adversities and prejudices necessary to obtain a national market for “Soul Train.”  I imagine so many slammed doors and ignominious comments as I sought support for this idea of mainstream and distinctly Black television show.  Nevertheless, his perseverance enabled many vocalists and musicians to become rich and famous since his initial courageous investment as “Soul Train” became the unquestionable venue to stardom for so many performers who enjoy contemporary household fame. 

More significantly, Cornelius’ pioneering efforts expanded upon the enduring musical legacy of the African Diaspora as it evolved in the spirituals and blues of American slavery and the burgeoning Jazz and Black, regional musical hybrids of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.  Appropriately, Cornelius won acceptance of this collective African American art form without surrendering to acculturation, assimilation and accommodationist influences.  He ensured Black unapologetically retained its authenticity.

We will never knew the intricacies of the private descend into a very personal hell that fired the gunshot wound to his head thereby liberating him from an excruciating pain.  News report quoted a very close friend who mentioned having had lunch with Cornelius on the Tuesday prior to his death.  The friend did not observe any indications of what would occur within the week.  He also does not recall any verbal foreshadowing of Cornelius’ imminent suicide.  My heart bleeds for this close friend as I imagine he still asks “Did I miss something?  Was the lunch a last cry for help and I simply missed the warning signs and did not hear Don’s plea for help?”  I pray Cornelius’ friend will find peace and resolution in the coming days.  His pain reminds us of the importance of investing genuinely and faithfully in friendships. 

Like Cornelius’ friend, I wish someone could have penetrated the citadel of despair, depression and destitution that defamed a visionary on his final day.  After all he did to enrich the lives of millions of persons who may never know his seminal contribution to American popular culture, certainly something could have reached toward him and assist him as he stepped off the precipice of bleakness and hopelessness.  It stands to reason we are unable to answer any of these questions for our brother, Don Cornelius.  However, we can invest more authentically in our friendships to prevent such a dastardly ordeal in the lives of people who are nearest and dearest to our hearts.

Don Cornelius ended each episode of “Soul Train” with a blessing for the viewing audience.  “I wish you love, peace and soul.”  In an ecclesiastical setting, his closing words equate with a Benediction, the final component of a worship service.  As we celebrate his life and immeasurable legacy, we commend his soul to Almighty God from whom Brother Don Cornelius came with the humble and fervent hope of divine graciousness.  I pray Brother Don’s soul shall rest in peace with thanksgiving and praise to Almighty God for Don’s unique contribution to humankind.  For you, the reader of this blog entry, I extend his immortal words as you pursue the life you always imagined.