"Love People Enough to Let Them Go"

“Love People Enough to Let Them Go”

“Love people enough to let them go.”  Linda Lavin, the awarding winning actress of the 1970s sitcom, Alice, shared those wise words in a memorable interview.  She endured the fires of a particularly difficult divorce.  In the settlement she reached with her ex-husband, she relinquished all claims to custody she had of his children.  Legal circumstances forced her to accept that hard reality.  Contrary to her personal wishes and the relationships she had with the children, she let them go.  In time, they came back into her life.  In retrospect, Linda Lavin learned “never try and hold on to people.”  Again, “love them enough to let them go.”

“If you love something (someone) let it go.  If it comes back, it’s yours.  If it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be.”  Love does not take hostages.  It does not injure.  It flows freely from a heart liberated to love.  Love seeks the very best in those whom we love.  Love releases them to become whole. 

Recently, an aunt called to share she recently remarried her first husband whom she had originally wed at seventeen years of age.  Their youth, grounded in the uniformed idea “love” conquers all, led to their divorce.  Yet, almost thirty-eight years to the date of their first marriage, they remarried.  In the interim, they never lost the love they felt for each other.  Nonetheless, they were able to let go of each other.  Thinking someone else would be better for them, they wished each other well.  Amazingly, the rubble of September 11, 2001 (9/11) reunited them.  They relit the flame of the love dormant in their hearts.  Their love story demonstrates how we love people enough to let them go.

A very close colleague and friend knew her future husband during their in college years.  They discovered an undeniable love that did not result in marriage until nearly twenty years later.    Like my aunt and her husband, this second couple never loss love they always shared for each other.  Once again, the smoldering ashes of September 11^th lit the flame of love and passion.  They too rediscovered each other and their heartfelt love.  Whereas their collegiate affection enabled them to wish each other well as they embarked upon separate lives, it eventually reunited them in holy matrimony.  They also practiced the wise maxim of loving enough to let someone go.

In the previously mentioned conversation with my aunt, she assures me, “What God has for you no one can take away.”  If it is meant to be, it will be.  No one on earth is able to stop you from receiving a divinely ordained blessing.  In reply, I said, “Lord, I receive Your promise though I have no idea what will emerge.  I thank You for your grace and goodness.  In the name of Jesus, I receive the promise.”  We let people go because God ultimately orchestrates the best love affairs.  If we are willing to wait, we receive love greatly exceeding our wildest imaginations. 

Strangely enough, love needs a certain confluence of benevolent circumstances to flourish.  We fail to force its growth outside divine grace.  Nothing grows within infertile soil.  Rain equal to the ocean cannot produce a harvest on barren land.  Likewise, love does not grow where it cannot be shared openly and freely.  If someone cannot genuinely appreciate you, then love them enough to let them go.