Seventh Pathway to Healing - Self-Acceptance - Part II

 

Seventh Pathway to Healing – Self-Acceptance – Part II

 

Suffering the ravages of extensive unemployment due to age discrimination equates with surviving a natural disaster.  It is as if one experiences a tsunami of mind and psyche.  How do make sense of a job in which you do not utilize any of your education, prior work experience or talents?  How do you reconcile a commitment of seventy hours or more to a position that absolutely drains your mental, emotional and physical energy?  You do not have any resources left for passions and hobbies that connect your imagination and dreams.  It is hard to read, write, study, create and meditate when your current job severely depletes your internal battery.  Nonetheless, were you willing to accept this hard, unfair and inexplicable reality, then the eyes of your mind and heart will open to new vistas.  Is it possible that this most horrible situation could become the very best opportunity for you? Conceivably, the loss of your job hurls you into your midlife crisis.  Were you previously squandering your time and talents like pouring water into a leaking bucket?  Acceptance affords you the chance to rewrite the script of your life and make significant edits. 

 

Unconditional acceptance is a precondition to seeing new possibilities.  Wallowing in bitterness and resentment imprison you to the past.  It yields an emotional drunkenness which prevents you from progressing with your life.  Complaining and arguing are just toxic.  A correlation exists between complaining and an inability to be creative.  Arguing absorbs illimitable intellectual energy that you could devote to entrepreneurial interests.  Debating leads to tunnel vision as you sanctimoniously defend your self-righteous position.  Acceptance empowers you to cease complaining in exchange for creative insights.  Howard Thurman, the premiere African American Baptist mystic theologian, offers “No one wins a fight.”  Consider the incalculable expense of time and money you lose within any fight.  Honestly, I wish I could rewind the hands of times and erase any lengthy fights.  Ultimately, I did not receive what I thought I justly deserved.  Moreover, had I “surrendered to win,” I could have used those resources toward more useful purposes.  Arguing and debating distracted me and distorted my outlook.  Had I accepted my powerlessness to change those situations and the people involved, I would have discovered new possibilities within myself.

 

Acceptance necessitates periods of withdrawal for self-discovery and self-mastery.  Many respected historical and spiritual persons retreated to the wilderness or desert.  There, they reconceived their understanding of God who became a living being to them instead of the conceptualization of a religious institution.  They established an intimate relationship with this Supreme Being.  Henceforth, they listen to Him rather than relying upon self-justifying religiosity.  Learning to listen to God begins within an isolated setting.  There, the noise and busyness of daily life cannot drown out His voice.  The wilderness compels self-preservation and survival.  Food is plentiful but requires skills to obtain.  Discernment is necessary lest you inadvertently consume poisonous items.  These natural images depict similarly necessary changes in our personal lives.  Living the lives we imagine demand self-discipline and self-acceptance.  To acquire these divine attributes, listen to the inner voice of God.

 

Living “one day at a time” and “accepting life on life’s terms” are two spiritual tools the recovery movement offers its adherents.  There is no legitimate excuse to return alcoholism and other forms of addiction.  “Liquid courage” and “colorful imagination” will not alter any hard past or present realities.  Accepting our experiences and limitations empowers us to heal from them.  The past is perfectly unalterable.  Healing from childhood and formative trauma necessitates unconditional acceptance of those experiences.  Were your grandparents and parents good, kind, giving and loving people?  Were they mean, hard, aggressive and demanding?  Did they consider your siblings and you as burdens to be borne to earn social respectability?  Did they tell you that you owe them?  Did their actions leave you wondering why they became parents?  Would you have had a better chance of actualizing your talents and potential had you been reared by someone else?  Did your nuclear family fail to appreciate you and your unique personality?  These are difficult questions.  I suspect they are frightening.  Accordingly, most people will not ask them.  However, asking these tough inner questions and accepting the innermost truths they yield are effective and substantial means of healing.  Hard answers often reveal new pathways to acquiring the life you seek.  If you affirmatively answered any of these questions, accepting those tough truths position you to forgive the people who harmed you.  Your forgiveness liberates you from the clutches of their influence.  You no longer need or desire their validation.  As an adult, you self-determinatively pursue the life you always imagined.  No one else possesses the power to decide for you.  You understand your inherent right make life’s fundamental decisions relating to work, love and beliefs.  Sifting through the debris of the past with hard questions uncovers inner assets which you may not discover otherwise.