"Every Exit is an Entrance"

“Every Exit is an Entrance”

Recently, the series finale for the situation comedy, Frasier, aired.  The final segment of the show was entitled, “Every Exit is an Entrance.” Each of the five main characters exited a very comfortable place in his or her life and entered a new chapter.  Roz Doyle, the radio show producer, becomes the boss as she assumes the responsibilities of the general manager of the station.  The father, Marty Crane, marries again and moves into a new house with his young bride of his autumn years.  Niles Crane, Frasier’s younger brother, and his wife, Daphne Moon Crane, who serves previously as the father’s live-in physical therapist, have a son.  Dr. Frasier Crane moves to San Francisco.  Each ending inherently possesses a new beginning.  Hence, every exit is indeed an entrance into a new chapter of life.

As they participate in that grand perennial season of celebration in American education, commencement, countless students bring to a close some of the most fun and enjoyable years of life.  The high school and collegiate years are both the most challenging and rewarding periods of life.  As they end, students say goodbye to close friends, encouraging teachers, and foundational experiences.  Ironically, we label the formal ceremony to mark this finality “commencement,” which means beginning.  The rite of passage of exiting from school (high school, college or graduate school) is the entrance to the next chapter of life.  The crossing of the stage to receive a diploma or degree resembles stepping over a threshold into the next room, leading to new vistas and experiences.

The actress, Melissa Gilbert, whom we mostly remember as the character of Laura Ingalls in the 1970s series, Little House on the Prairie, recalls the many tears that she shed at the conclusion of the final episode of the show.  She feared that she would never work again.  She did not know what the future held for her and the other cast members.  She only knew that she was losing something reliable.  In that moment of despair, she recollects that the late Michael Landon, who played Pa Ingalls, hugged her and said, “Don’t cry ‘Half Pint.’  This is not the end.  It’s just the beginning.  It’s just the beginning.”  You recall that Melissa Gilbert went on to be the star in several television movies and two television series.  Presently, her fellow actors and actresses have put their trust in her by electing her the president of the Screen Actors Guild.  Michael Landon’s words were both prophetic and true.  Little House was just the beginning.

Why is it that we dread change so much?  Why do we resist it with all our might and being?  We fall for the normal and understandable fallacy of wanting everything to remain the same.  Regardless of the years that have passed we want all of the furniture to remain in the same place.  We strive for a “home” in which we can have the assurance that very little will change.  Actually, we resolve that we have found such homes when things cease to change.  We desire to sit back, relax and coast for the rest of life. 

Interestingly, the Bible tells us that “home” is the journey.  We are most at “home” as we journey through life relying upon the “unfailing love” and faithful provision of Almighty God.  With every ending and each change, God enters us into a greater experience of His unfathomable love for us.  He mysteriously gives us His indescribable grace and tender loving kindness with each exit to empower us to go forth into the next chapter of life.

Being a Father - A Steward of Your Children's Dreams

Being a Father – A Steward of Your Children’s Dreams

On Father’s Day, the gentleman giving the “Children’s Sermon” declared fatherhood as a charge of stewardship of his children’s dreams.  He challenged fathers to be faithful caretakers of their children’s dreams by making sacrifices of time, money and work to ensure their children a reasonable opportunity to actualize their potential.  Among the obligatory offerings are impulse spending, clothing splurges, vacation indulgences and aimless use of time.  Fulfilling a biblical mandate, fathers have a requirement to devote the use of their essential resources to encouraging and empowering their children to become the very best people of which they are capable.  God ordains fathers to guide their children in discovering their uniqueness as children of God.  Practically speaking, they assist their children in the processing of mining within their characters and interests until they find the unique contribution which God creates them to make to the human family.  This contribution need not be grand in the celebrity sense but it can be magnanimous as it may be the difference in the quality of life of an individual or a nation.  Adults who realize their God given talents and develop their natural abilities in many instances were children who had the presence of a loving father whose loyalty, fidelity, service and patience were the foundation upon which they grew spiritually and developed personally.  Moreover, as stewards of their children’s dreams, fathers have the express duty of delaying their own dreams and goals if necessary to ensure that their children reach a healthy and formidable start in life.

As I listened to this brief discourse, I thought of a friend whom I will call Greer whose recent choices and decisions remarkably illustrates this paternal lesson.  I greatly admire him for his integrity as a husband and father.  When I think of the men whom I would like to emulate, Greer always comes to mind.  Our paths crossed during the decade that I lived in Nashville.  We became friends through participation in a year-long community service organization.  My family and I moved to “Music City” so that I could assume the pastorate of a church.  Greer and his family came to town as he took a senior administrative position at one of the local institutions of higher learning.  As circumstances would reveal, we both eventually discovered that we were mismatched in the positions that we initially accepted as an impetus to move to Nashville.  Greer obtained a second university position from which he was terminated unjustly and disrespectfully.  Yet, the severance package enabled him to open his own business.  Within three years, he was well on his way to establishing a profitable and growing firm.  Intermittently, as the competing demands of marriage, family, work, church and community involvement allowed, we met for coffee usually at one of the city’s Starbucks.  We exchanged “trench warfare” stories as a means of encouraging and empowering each other.  Actually, we became accountability brothers in the Lord. 

On one occasion, Greer shared with me his decision to sell his business.  His resolution greatly puzzled me as he had invested three of the eight years necessary to sustain a profitable business.  Plus, he was now his own boss.  The regrettable circumstances that led to the start of his business could not reoccur.  He appeared to be on course to achieving permanently the financial stability that he desired for his wife and son.

In response to my facial expression of astonishment which had to be punctuated with raised eyebrows, inflated nostrils and penetrating smirks; Greer explained that he had a fundamental choice to make.  If he chose to spend the next five years solidifying the profitability of his business and the financial security of his family, he would miss his son’s years of adolescence and high school.  The cumulative sum of five year’s worth of sixteen to eighteen hour days would mean for all practical purposes that he would be a husband and father in residence only.  He would miss the spontaneous conversations that a puzzled teenage boy starts with his dad.  There would be the occasional impromptu trips to get pizza or grab a burger.  What should his son due when he develops problems with the opposite sex?  Should he schedule an appointment and hope his dad does not cancel at the last minute?  What about Greer’s responsibility to demonstrate to his son the practicalities of becoming a man as his son encounters the various rites of passage?  He raised these questions among others to depict the stark decision before him.  To my great pleasure, Greer straightforwardly, definitively and calmly said that he chose his son.

Greer reasoned that he would have another opportunity, should it be God’s will, to own a successful and profitable business.  However, he would have only one chance to share his son’s adolescence.  Those precious and formative years are given to fathers only once in a lifetime.  If Greer is meant to have his own firm again, divine providence will align the meticulous details and favorable circumstances.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt, neither human power nor celestial grace would return the loss years of his son’s transition to early adulthood.  As a consequence and as a dedicated father, Greer made the wisest choice of committing himself to job of stewardship of his son’s goals and dreams.

Authentic Spirituality

“Authentic Spirituality”

Throughout the gospels, the Lord Jesus castigates the Pharisees, scribes and teachers of the law for their excessive dedication to religiosity and tradition rather than a faithful pursuit of authentic spirituality.  These religious people wrote commentaries on the Law of God, the Midrash and the Talmud.  These writings were designed to ensure that the people did not transgress the law of God.  In time, they became more devoted to the traditions of their commentaries than they were to the Law of God.  In fact, the Pharisees separated themselves from people who did not adhere to their traditions.  Actually, they looked down upon such people.  Unfortunately, the Pharisees lost perspective and began to esteem their interpretations of the Law as being greater than the Law itself.  They did not consider anyone religious who failed to follow their interpretations and teachings.  Moreover, they put an undue burden upon the average people to follow their Pharisaic teachings in order to worship and rightly relate to Almighty God.  In stark contrast, Jesus announces that rigid adherence to religion, ritual and tradition does not necessarily yield righteousness with God.

Jesus challenges people to seek a vibrant and growing relationship with God.  In accordance with the teachings of Jeremiah 29:12 and 33:3, Jesus encourages people to seek God with their whole hearts.  Instead of furthering religion, Jesus defines the components of an authentic spirituality, which is the gracious and free gift to anyone who asks sincerely.  Whereas rituals and religiosity may contribute to one’s spirituality, they are not synonymous with it.  Authentic spirituality is primarily dependent upon one’s ability to be honest with God, one’s self and other people.  Simply put, honesty is the foundation of genuine spirituality.  Additionally, an emerging relationship with God includes integrity, truth, love, respect, dignity and justice.  Those principles contain the enduring riches of life.  Since God is love and life, those characteristics naturally flow from Him.  Accordingly, Jesus teaches the masses that knowing God is the surest path to inner healing and wholeness.

God requires complete honesty from us.  First and foremost, we must be honest about whether we have faith in Him or not.  Hebrews 11:6 says that authentic faith is necessary in order to please God.  In addition, James 1:5-6 states that belief is essential in order to receive anything from God.  A double-minded person cannot expect to gain anything from prayer.  Furthermore, God demands that we pray frankly, straightforwardly and truthfully.  We cannot hide sin while we pray about other matters.  We cannot ignore the resentment, bitterness, vengeance, judgment, strife and envy that lurk in the closets of our hearts and the crevices of our minds, when we pray about other issues.  God does not allow us to overlook our brokenness in several areas in an attempt to achieve healing in another facet of life.  Since “nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account, (Hebrews 4:13)” God insists upon complete disclosure within prayer and our dealings with Him.

To obtain inner healing and wholeness, we must also be willing to be as honest with ourselves as we must be with Almighty God.  We will never grow to the point of loving and accepting ourselves if we will not admit our failures, shortcomings, and areas that need improvement.  If we have a problem, we must first acknowledge it in order to resolve it.  Honesty is critical and non-negotiable as it relates to resolving our personal challenges.  In fact, a forthright admission of the problem is the first step in overcoming it.  God and the organic process of healing that He uses necessitate personal honesty.  Whether it is food, gossip, debt, jealousy, procrastination, fear, sloth, drugs, alcohol, etc., one must recognize one’s need for help in order to achieve inner healing and wholeness.

Nevertheless, authentic spirituality and the love of God, which is its natural outgrowth, are primarily dependent upon our willingness to be honest.  Religion allows the possibility of cloaking our sin and weaknesses under the fabric of ritual and tradition.  Furthermore, religiosity often produces a self-righteousness and self-justification that eventually leads one to judge others by one’s own standards rather than the word of God.  Jesus saw this phenomenon in the actions and hearts of the Pharisees, scribes and teachers of the law.  He railed against it.  More significantly, Jesus encourages us to discard the moss and withered laurels of petrified religion.  In its place, Jesus offers an authentic spirituality, which necessitates honesty, integrity and truth.

Guilt and Regret

Guilt and regret are two of the most useless emotions.  Yet, we perpetually imprison ourselves to those feelings.  Like the protagonist, Heather, in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, we walk around with either a “G” or “R” emblazoned upon our foreheads.  We have convinced ourselves that something that we have done cannot be forgiven.  Somehow, our mistakes become unpardonable sins.  In fact, we live as mental and psychological fugitives who escaped punishment.  We have a foreboding anticipation of an eventual indictment, trial, conviction and sentencing for our “crimes.”  Meanwhile, God freely forgives and liberates us to learn from our mistakes.  In so doing, we become better people.  Rather than nursing guilt and regret, we dissolve it by confronting our pasts.  Apologies, changes in thinking and behavior and restitution among other actions are the keys to resolving guilt and regret.

Guilt lingers because we fail to admit honestly what we have done.  Usually, we rationalize our choices and behavior.  We easily insist that we were in fact the “victims” of circumstances.  Had the situation produced a different set of conditions, then we would have made a better personal, professional, moral and ethical choice.  In order to eliminate guilt and regret, we must straightforwardly assess our characters.  What liabilities do we possess that made us behave in a certain way?  Were we aware of our disposition to use and hurt people for personal gain?  What about our continual unwillingness to grapple with our character defects?  Nonetheless, a refusal to evaluate our minds and hearts sows the seeds of a lifetime of guilt and regret.

Given the fact that we cannot reverse what we have done, it is essentially meaningless to assure ourselves that we would have chosen otherwise had we known all of the facts.  What is done is in fact done!  We cannot change it!  However, we can learn from our mistakes.  That does not mean that we recite “mea culpa” ad infinitum. Instead, we transform our regret to some worthwhile purpose to develop personally and grow spiritually.  Perhaps, our regret will become the catalyst for a change in our character and the impetus to repair broken relationships.  Regret can also become the agency for healing human pain and suffering.  The late British Prime Minister Alfred Profumo channeled his regret relating to his moral failures into a distinguished period of service in social work after resigning from political life.  Whereas he could not negate the scandals, he learned from his shortcomings and served the people whom he loved in another way.  Stewing in his juices for the balance of his life would have been completely worthless.

The false belief that we have committed a unique mistake supplies fertile ground for the growth of guilt and regret.  “Don’t take yourself too seriously.”  Indeed, we are unique as it relates to talents, gifts and natural endowments.  But, we are not when it comes to errors, crimes and bad choices.  Whatever you have done, you are not distinguished.  Someone else did it before you and someone will do it again.  So, you need to get over it!  There is indeed nothing new under the sun as the author of Ecclesiastes insists.  Moreover, the fallacious notion that our mistakes are singular perpetuates our guilt and the belief that we cannot be forgiven.

Freedom from guilt and regret requires hard work.  It cannot be simply obtained by simplistic prayers and half-hearted apologies.  We have to travel the dusty road of genuine acceptance of our behavior and the damage that it has done.  We must willingly acknowledge the harm that we have done to others.  We ask for their forgiveness even if they withhold it.  We dignify their feelings by hearing from them how we hurt them and trample upon their personhood.  Then, we apologize through actions more so than words.  In a financial matter, restitution is the surest act of contrition.  If you have squandered someone’s money or failed to repay a loan, saying you are sorry ultimately means little.  Until you settle that debt, guilt and regret will imprison you to that person and incident. 

Additionally, the process of confronting our behavior and those persons whom we harmed frees us from guilt and regret.  As long as we harbor our personal reflections, we will remain ignorant of some details that only an honest conversation could reveal.  In most instances, we have not harmed people to the degree that we have imagined.  Unless we voluntarily engage the difficult task of taking responsibility for our actions, we will not resolve our useless guilt and regret.  A face-to-face dialogue is the most reliable method.  Letters, generally, are not effective.  They are another escape mechanism, which indirectly lets the author of the letter off the hook.  Unfortunately, letters further exacerbate the situation because the recipient is left having to interpret the words and meaning of the author.  Clarity emerges from a personal conversation in which nothing is misinterpreted or left unsaid.  Liberty from the residual guilt and fear of the past is the gift of those of us who will challenge our mistakes.

An Incredible Work Ethic Part I - A Tribute to the Late James Albert Singletary, Sr.

An Incredible Work Ethic Part I – A Tribute to the Late James Albert Singletary, Sr.

On Friday, 25 June 2010, my family and I moved out of a house in which we had lived for nearly a decade.  I recall my then toddler son’s exuberance, on the day that we moved in; when he discovered that the movers had transported his favorite “thinking chair” from Brooklyn, NY to Nashville, TN.  As the years would unfold, he would enjoy a room specifically decorated for him.  In time, the sound of the pattering feet of his sister would reverberate throughout the house as she would charge toward her next object of interest.  My son would receive a personal lesson in sharing as half of his room becomes hers.  The bond that they would forge in childhood as they played outside in the very large yard remains a priceless and enduring memory of that time in our lives.  Our house in Nashville was the place where our beloved son and daughter began their lives.  It was the family’s oasis where we shared unconditional love, discovered our God given talents and began to actualize them.  Recollections of countless breakfast and dinner conversations about current happenings flood my mind as I write.  Oh, how I love story time just before bed!  The children and I, at the pace of ten pages per night, completed the Chronicles of Narnia, Magic School Bus, Magic Tree House and Harry Potter series.  Need I mention Dr. Seuss, anthologies of childhood stories and abridged editions of American literary classics such The Call of the Wild, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Count of Monte Cristo and King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table?  Nevertheless, these memories comprise a treasure trove in my heart of my children’s early years.  The house in Nashville will always be a special place as it was the setting for the foundational years of our family. 

Parenthetically, on the day after we moved, we traveled to the house once last time.  We formed a circle in the empty living room area.  There, with bowed heads in reverence to Almighty God, we prayed for the family that would buy the house.  We asked God to bless this family with the requisite financial resources and approval with a lending institution.  Further, we prayed the house will be a blessing for them as it was for us.  We requested the Spirit of God to fill the house.  We hope the new family will glorify God in all their affairs whether business, relational or social.  We hope love, truth, joy, kindness, peace and integrity undergird the relationships of the family; may each member of the family possess these enduring riches in bountiful supply.  Except for one teenage prank in which our unlocked cars were rifled, we did not experience any danger or crime in the house.  We prayed that the new family would be just as safe.  Moreover, we prayed that their home would be free of any verbal, emotional or physical violence.  Because the house had been such a blessing to us, we greatly desire that it be an even greater blessing to anyone else who lives there.

To that end, our wish for their happiness necessitated that we leave the house clean.  On that Friday, long after the moving trucks had gone, my son and I were left to clean the house.  The preceding three days had been minimal sixteen to eighteen hour days in which we prepared as meticulously as possible for the packers and movers.  This fourth day found us very tired despite the excitement of beginning a well-deserved vacation on the following day.  Nonetheless, the task of leaving the house broom swept, completely dusted and thoroughly mopped lay before us.  As the evening wore on, our physical tiredness reached its peak.  With very limited cleaning supplies, we were very tempted to cut corners.  Did every inch of the kitchen counters need to be wiped?  No one should be using the restrooms except for the new owners.  Could we not negotiate a professional cleaning in the closing arrangements?  My son simply could not work anymore.  Understandably, at twelve years of age, he had already made a yeoman’s contribution to the family’s move.  But, the moral, ethical, financial and practical obligation to leave the house clean remained.

An Incredible Work Ethic Part II = A Tribute to the Late James Albert Singletary, Sr.

An Incredible Work Ethic Part II – A Tribute to the Late James Albert Singletary, Sr.

I received a “second wind” when I thought of my late uncle, James Albert Singletary, Sr.  “Uncle Joe” was one of the hardest working men I have ever known.  Over the course of eight years of summers, I had the privilege of watching his inimitable and incredible example of hard work and discipline.  He believed that any job worth doing is worth doing well.  If you cannot or will not perform a job to the very best of your ability, then you should leave that job and get another one.  Choose a job that motivates you to do your very best!  Many years later, I more greatly appreciate his wisdom and integrity.  He practiced his principles and philosophy relating to his work ethic.  He worked the graveyard shift cleaning the dining rooms, toilets and kitchens of a very popular fast food chain.  While everyone else slept, he mopped the floors, wiped the counters, scraped the toilets and urinals, and discarded trash that included rotten and spoiling food.  One of the messiest tasks was cleaning the broiler which required a bucket of nearly scalding water, soap and ammonia.  Without gloves, he ascended a ladder each night and wiped away the hardened grease and grime that formed from cooking a day’s worth of hamburgers.  You can imagine the effects on his lungs of breathing in ammonia and carbon deposits while cleaning the broiler.  In the eight years, I never once heard him complain about his job.  In fact, he left a managerial position in which he wore a shirt and tie to take this cleaning position.  On the last day that he wore a tie to work, he took it off and hung it around the rearview mirror in celebration of the fact that he no longer had a “managerial noose” around his neck.  Remarkably, he took just as much pride in the cleaning job as he took in his efforts to excel as a manager.  If he found mop strings or untouched spots on the floor, he went over them.  He took an artist’s approach to the restaurants that he cleaned.  If they did not shine to the point that an untrained eye could easily detect his meticulous care and detail, he was not satisfied.  He left these places sparking each and every morning just after sunrise.  He worked until the job was done exceedingly well.  His professionalism rivaled the persistence and achievements of anyone in the learned guilds.

In recalling those most admirable attributes about “Uncle Joe,” I am grateful for his incredible example of work ethic.  I vividly heard his sayings and I saw him swirling that mop back and forth watching with his peripheral view to ensure that he did not miss a spot.  Those recollections encouraged and empowered me to leave our previous house as spotless as I could.  Interestingly, I was cleaning the toilets and preparing to mop the kitchen and bathroom floors when this flood of memories cascaded across my mind.  Mystically, I reached back and found strength from his example.  I said aloud, “Thank you dear Uncle Joe for teaching me how to work hard.  Thank you for showing me that you work until the job is done.  Thank you for telling me to take pride in what I do by doing my very best even if no one else notices.  I thank you Uncle Joe.”  Consequently, a new burst and thrust of energy came over me. The will to finish the cleaning came.  I began to clean as if I were moving in rather than moving out.  As I worked, I shared my thoughts of my uncle with my son who listened partially as he watched television on my Blackberry.  Telling the stories of many years of working during the third and fourth watches of the night and having my uncle’s undivided attention, as I learned about work, manhood, responsibility and faithfulness, made me forever thankful for the gift of his remarkable life.

In contrast to my uncle’s job, I have worn consistently a blazer, shirt and tie to work during my twenty-one years of professional experience.  I have had three main jobs that have overlapped in time and sequence: educational administration, teaching and pastoral ministry.  Each position came with office space, central heating and air, business cards, name tags, and the usual accoutrements of professional positions.  Yet, I strive to match “Uncle Joe’s” discipline, inner fortitude, self-determination and formidable example.  I seek superlative accomplishments as he did.  He is my yardstick whereby I measure my efforts and results.  Admittedly, I have learned how to “work smart and not hard” but I do not allow that approach to become an excuse for muddling in the midst of mediocrity.  Should I forget that a professional is not superior to any other hardworking, honest and responsible worker; my mental eye conjures the silhouette of my uncle and that mop.  That indelible image enduringly reminds me who the authentic professionals in life are.

Are You in Your Dream Job?

A Message of HOPE (Hearing Other People’s Experiences) –

Are You in Your Dream Job?

Will you trust God to lead you to your dream job?  Years ago when I worked in educational administration at Teachers College Columbia University, I interviewed a woman who had recently lost her high paying job in banking.  She had survived a decade’s worth of bank mergers.  On a Friday morning after the publicly announced merger between Manufacturers Hanover Trust and Chemical Bank, she was summoned to a meeting to learn that her job had been eliminated.  Her reaction to this news and the receipt of her severance package startled her colleagues.  In retrospect, she actually surprised herself.  She paused, breathed, took the document and serenely and simply said, “Thank you.” 

Upon returning to her office, she immediately picked up the phone and made the call to the Admissions Office.  Later, she shared with me that she did not trust herself to proceed toward the weekend without making that call.  By Friday evening, she suspected that she would have called at least three corporate headhunters.  Definitely by Sunday afternoon, she would have been back in the “rat race.”  Nonetheless, the lost of her job afforded her the opportunity to transition to the ideal job for her.  For more than a decade, she knew that her heart’s desire was to teach English literature to high school students.  She simply could not pull herself away from the money although she had long since resigned the job emotionally and existentially.  Fears relating to paying a monthly mortgage, maintaining her lifestyle and having enough money paralyzed her.  Of her own strength, she was unable to leave the corporate world.  Ultimately, she saw the lost of her job in the merger as one of her life’s greatest blessings.  She concluded that God did for her what she could not do for herself!  Her termination from the corporate world became an ironic beginning to a new life. 

After the interview, she applied successfully to the Master of Arts in Teaching program in English and Language Arts.  The following fall, she enrolled; the next spring, she earned her teaching credential enroute to certification in the State of New York.  Today, as I write, she starts her thirteenth year of teaching and working within her heartfelt passion.  She had to have been a very good banker; otherwise she would not have survived a decade’s worth of mergers.  Chances are she has become an excellent teacher.  When one works out of passion, one generally excels.  “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”  Summarily, this woman’s story offers hope to anyone who lingers within the daily grind of an unfulfilling job.  Trust Almighty God to orchestrate the details of your life and transition you to your dream job.

Believe in Yourself Part II

Last week, I emphasized the importance of matching your faith in Almighty God with an equally steadfast belief in yourself.  An Ephesians 3:20 faith stipulates that God accomplishes the unimaginable according to His power that works in us.  We believe that God’s spirit empowers us to achieve previously unthinkable feats.  A participant and observer in the Boston Marathon recalls a moment in sport’s history that meticulously and brilliantly illustrates the necessity of believing in yourself in order to attain your heartfelt dreams and goals.  This runner reaches the infamous “Mile 19” of the race.  A particularly steep hill functions as a natural and detrimental hurdle.  Many runners drop out of the race during the nineteenth mile.  Its sharp and foreboding incline sharpens a runner’s cumulative chest pain; shreds any loose shin splits; tightens any cramps and lessens the air. The faint of heart will submit to the nineteenth mile.  Basically, it determines who genuinely possesses the will to finish the race. 

As the runner reaches deep within himself to find the resolve to defeat the nineteenth mile, out of his peripheral view glances a paraplegic who is running the race in a chair.  The man is rolling the wheels of his chair with all his might.  The runner imagines that his fellow marathon participant’s well-defined and muscular arms are burning fiercely.  Sweating drips like a fountain from his face which reflects an intense scowl of determination.  Yet, as the hill steepens, the chair begins to recede as the strength of the runner does not exceed the force of the incline.  Regrettably, the man in the chair starts rolling backwards.  Other runners are considerate and move out of the way avoiding an accident.  Then, the most amazing moment occurs for everyone watching.  The man in the chair yields to rolling backwards until he reaches nearly halfway.  He then turns his back to the incline and begins to push the wheels with all his might.  Hurling himself in the opposite direction with all of his might, this man in the chair defies the odds, surmounts the inconceivable and defeats “Mile 19” to the spontaneous ovation of the narrator of this story and a wildly cheering crowd.  Undoubtedly, the paraplegic believed in himself and his abilities to finish the Boston Marathon. 

Although faced with formidable challenges, the runner in the chair refuses to accept anything less than completion of the race.  He does not give in or up.  He responds to adversity by changing his approach to the task.  This new strategy does not decrease the effort he must demonstrate to succeed.  It probably consumes more time.  In the final analysis, the paraplegic exhibits an inimitable work ethic and willpower.  His belief in his capability to finish the race encourages us to strive for our goals and dreams in accordance with the will of God.  The  man’s actions paint an indelible picture of what it concretely and daily means to believe in one’s capacity to succeed at any task that one undertakes.  The late Professor Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture and a member of the Computer Science Department at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA, suggests that “brick walls” appear in our lives to assist us in determining whether really want what we say that we do.  Our attempts to surmount “brick walls” show the extent of our belief in our resolve to win.  If we abandon a project after encountering one “brick wall,” then it may stand to reason that our commitment to that goal was limited from the beginning.  In contrast, if multiple “brick walls” serve to empower us in refining our techniques enroute to success, then we know that we truly intend to be victorious. 

Henry Wordsworth Longfellow’s “Ladder of St. Augustine” offers a very practical method for demonstrating self-belief.  “The heights of great men, attained and kept; were not obtained in sudden flight; but they, while their companions slept; toiled upward in the night.”  The daily willingness to toil towards one’s dreams and goals demonstrate the most obvious belief in one’s abilities to succeed.

Forskaing the Process by Focusing upon the Results

Today, upon picking up my son and daughter after school, I learned that he received his first demerit of the school year.  I applaud his increasing maturity in proactively divulging this information to his mother and me.  He explained that he happened to be with a group of guys during the early morning gathering period before school.  Although they were instructed previously by the principal to stand clear of the basketball goals and equipment, two of them failed to resist the powerful temptation to get a ball and start dunking. To their great surprise, chagrin and detriment, the principal appeared.  Diminutive in height but powerful in character and presence, this formidable lady gave all of the members of this group a demerit each.  Understandably, only two of them actually dunked the balls but all of them knew the rule prohibiting the behavior.  As we attempted vainly to debrief the incident, my absolutely focused upon the unfair and unjust final result which punished the undeserving members of this group as they did not commit an infraction of the rule.   In questioning about the origins of the incident, the steps of its emergence and the possibilities of preventing future infractions and demerits, he straightforwardly and steadfastly maintained, “Only the twins dunked, the rest of us didn’t do anything.  We should not have gotten the demerits.”  I responded by asking, “ Are you so focused upon the results that you do not care about the process that led to the demerits and what you can learn from it?”  Not surprisingly, my son replied in the affirmative.  After the rising flames of emotion burned out, I quickly heard the words of my question.  I realize that my son’s reaction is hardly extraordinary.  On any day, most people miss significant spiritual, personal and relational lessons because they focus doggedly on their expectations rather the process.  Possibly, most miscommunication occurs because the parties really do not care what the persons sitting opposite of them are saying.  Each person simply wants their previously determined results.  Focusing upon the results inevitably equates with forsaking the process of spiritual growth and personal development.

Daily, countless people cheat themselves out of the love, joy, happiness, peace and wholeness that life offers.  Because they maintain tunnel vision as they strive toward their dreams and goals, they fail to enjoy the daily laughter, smell of the roses, unconditional support of loved ones, fidelity of friends and exuberant feeling of small successes.  In the words of one of my seminary professors, “The journey is home.”  It is not an imprecise and future destination that you stumble upon when the financial, relational, material, occupational and existential factors align perfectly with you expectations.  Rather, “home” is the daily willingness to embrace the journey of life with a stalwart faith that “every experience is a success” in the wisdom of Louise Hay.  Therefore, you can smile, laugh, listen and learn from everyone and everything.  Being grateful for each situation empowers you to find the riches beneath the rubble of each failure.  Are losing and having fun mutually exclusive?  Once a congregant who had lived with life threatening illnesses for a long time asked me, “Pastor, have you laughed today?”  She proceeded to challenge me to laugh each day as she did despite the severe limitations of her sickness.  During the extensive journey of her illness, she found joy and peace in the love of her husband and children and the laughter and academic and athletic achievements of her grandchildren.  Though she came to detest the myriad doctor’s appointments, medications and hospitalizations, she refused to be negative or concentrate on measuring her  health.  Instead, she absolutely would not retire to bed each night until she had reached her laughing quota for the day.  Ironically enough, the process of her illness yielded the enduring riches of life.  Had she bitterly desired only physical healing at all cost, she would have robbed herself of some of the most precious moments and experiences of her life.

Interpersonal growth and spiritual progress require time, patience, willingness and commitment.  Many biblical parables are agricultural be design.  The process of allowing the ground to lay fallow resembles waiting on God.  The hard and back-breaking work of turning over the soil and fertilizing it equates with internalizing the Word of God and the Holy Spirit.  Then, a farmer plants his seed; which compares to hearing and studying the Bible.  Upon hearing the forecast of deeply declining temperatures in early spring, the farmer proactively protects his future crop from overnight frost.  The threat of frost draws a connection to the faithful practice of spiritual disciplines.  In time, the growth of tall, powerful and vibrant weeds alongside the crop exceeds the danger of frost.  A farmer must meticulously pull each and every weed out of his garden.  Just leaving one weed can substantially threaten the ultimate size of the crop.  Likewise, with God’s grace and wisdom, persons seeking growth will annihilate character defects or neutral personal incapacities.  Whereas the removal of danger warrants celebrations, vigilance is necessary for the farmer to receive a bountiful harvest.  While he awaits the arrival of fall, he steadfastly and daily tends his garden lest neglect create a vacuum for the return of weeds and the arrival of locust, animals and human raiders.  Each perennial cycle of resting, fertilizing, sowing, tending and reaping affords the farmer an opportunity to learn how to work smart and not hard.  From year-to-year, the farmer can enjoy his job of feeding the world.  Perhaps, he may arrive at the juncture where he simply loves his job notwithstanding its dilemmas of weather, forces of nature, livestock and the economic conditions.  Beyond his obvious willingness and commitment to farming, he obtains a greater understanding of the value of time and seasons.  Further, he appreciates the power of patience as he must wait on the development of  the crop at each stage of the process.  Should he fail to attain this characteristic and focus instead with tunnel vision upon the size of the fall harvest, undoubtedly he will make very costly mistakes during the spring and summer.

My son’s demerit, whether justly given or undeservedly awarded, reminds me today to remember the crucial importance of embrace the process of learning from each experience.  I have heard, “Take an action and let go of the results.”  Assuredly, this phrase is easier to recite than to live.  Why would not want your due rewards for your hard labor?  Yet, I am learning the importance of engaging the process so that I may learn from it.  Each lesson reduces the possibility of future mistakes.  If I ignore my chances for spiritual progress, then I correspondingly deprive myself of the joy that I can have as I strive toward my goals. 

The Necessity of Patience

It is said, “Patience is a virtue.”  We also hear, “Time, nature and patience are the three great healers.”  Yet, the need of patience plagues the modern person given the fast pace at which we operate.  The proliferation of new gadgets designed to maximize luxury and convenience and minimize time and labor presents major difficulties for the contemporary Christian.  Although we appreciate fast food, microwaves, overnight deliveries, and rush service, we must still wait patiently for the revelation of God’s purpose in our lives.  Patience is critical to the maturity of our faith and personal character development.

Many of Jesus’ teachings rely upon agricultural images viz. the parables of the Sower, the Mustard Seed, the Wheat and the Tare, and a Tree and Its Fruit.  The people of the ancient Near East were heavily dependent upon the land for their food.  In fact, their landmass produced just enough food to support the population.  Subject to an agricultural economy, these people were well acquainted with farming and its concomitant lessons for daily living.  Rather than comparing and preferring our creature comforts to their hard work and struggles, we gain by identifying with their challenges.  We have the blessing of appropriating their lessons to better our lives.  Farming teaches patience if it teaches anything at all.

My paternal grandfather maintained a garden throughout my childhood.  Most of the vegetables that we ate came from that garden.  Yes, it was hard work when fertilizing, planting, plowing, weeding, and watering.  But, harvest time was always exciting as Mother Earth yielded a bounty of tomatoes, okras, corn, peas, beans, squash, mustard greens, collards, watermelon, and several other items.  I found personal delight in planting and harvesting the cucumbers.  There were generally the first items to pop up out of the ground.  My impatience led me to prefer cucumbers to all other garden items.  I did not have time to wait for the potatoes or peanuts, though I enjoy both.  In wanting the instant gratification of overnight cucumbers, I missed the beauty of the lesson of the garden.

Similarly, we miss the bounty of spiritual blessings because we are impatient.  God works magnificently orchestrating minute details to lead us toward abundant and eternal life.  Often, we characterize God’s gracious and meticulous coordination of favorable circumstances as coincidences.  In so doing, we devalue them by reasoning that we were lucky.  Nonetheless, the revelation of God’s will comes when we are adequately prepared to receive it.  Otherwise, we will squander it.  Habakkuk assures us that the revelation has an appointed time.  It will emerge without delay.  Though we perceive a lingering period, we must wait patiently.  When God discloses His plan, He ultimately verifies His action with the truth of His word and the fulfillment of His vision. (Habakkuk 2:2-3) 

Nature provides many helpful images for spiritual growth, patience and waiting on God’s will.  The oak and bamboo trees symbolize the process of preparation and the necessity of patience.  Sometimes, God must discard the dross of our characters before He can reveal His will.  The task of uprooting an oak tree demonstrates the process of preparation.  It takes quite a while to eliminate bad habits which conflict with the holy character of God.  Commensurately, it takes time to foster good habits and live to God’s glory and honor.  Waiting for a fully-grown bamboo tree reveals the challenge of spiritual development.

Imagine yourself standing in front of an oak tree.  Envision its height, beauty, and strength.  Weak winds, brush fires and average storms present very little threat to a mighty oak tree.  The wood it produces lasts a lifetime.  Hence, we invest in oak furniture for our offices and homes.  Nonetheless, an oak can equally symbolize the forces of adversity within our character.  Many of our problems (finances, marriage, children, education, jobs, time management, resentments, disappointments, failures, betrayal, alcoholism, other types of addiction, overeating, etc.) have the might and depth of an oak tree.  The roots of these personal challenges run very deep into our psyches.  We must examine the childhood causes of these dilemmas.  What perpetuates these types of behavior in our adult years?  In order to resolve them, we must dig up the roots with intention of healing and obtaining wholeness.  However, just as it takes eight years to dig up an oak tree, (branches, trunk, stump and roots), it may take a similar amount of time to exorcise these unfruitful habits.

Our willingness to engage the process of healing and earnestly work toward spiritual progress is the key to ultimate success.  There are several spiritual and practical tools that we can use as we dig up the roots of our problems.  Prayer, meditation, Bible study, corporate Christian education, daily quiet time and daily devotion are powerful spiritual shovels, machetes, pitchforks, axes, and saws.  Practically, counseling, reading, workshops, journalizing and mentoring are also tremendous tools.  If we daily utilize these resources, then we will know the liberty and joy of wholeness, which comes from extricating the oak tree of our problems.

Conversely, the bamboo tree demonstrates the possibilities of developing good habits.  When one plants the seeds for a bamboo tree, one must mark the spot of the seeds.  Your marker reminds you where you go to water the seeds because you see nothing above ground for approximately six or seven years.  All the action occurs below ground as the roots of the tree grow wider and deeper in order to support the height and strength of the tree that eventually emerges.  Yet, one must consistently water the seeds in order to produce the illustrious tree that springs forth, seeming suddenly.  Similarly, we must water the seeds of good habits that we desire.  Even when we see little growth, we must doggedly water the seeds through daily spiritual; disciplines.

The lessons of nature remind us of the necessity of time and process within personal growth.  Extricating an oak tree and planting a bamboo tree cautions us against rushing our maturation.  Though we feel as if we move at the speed of light in today’s world, we always remember the necessity of patience.

Inner Healing and Wholeness

Acts 5:12-16 and 17-42  details the mighty miracles that the Holy Spirit accomplishes through the apostles and records the persecution they suffer at the hand of the religious authorities.  The apostles are accosted for spreading the gospel.  Acts 5:12 says “The apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders among the people.”  “As a result, people brought the sick into streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by.”  Moreover, “all of them were healed.”  Do you believe this biblical account?  Probably, most church attendees do.  Some may believe “Something happened.”  Still, other persons may posit “Miracles happen.” 

Healing extends beyond the physical realm.  Ultimately, people need wholeness of mind, heart, and soul.  The greatest miracle is the personal achievement of wholeness as a child of God.  Inner and spiritual healing equate with the gospel in today’s world.  Just as crowds of “sick and tormented” people gathered to receive healing, many people contemporarily desire the same.  Whether we believe the exact wording of Acts, we are obligated to provide healing which leads to wholeness.

Matthew 9:35-37 reflect three major modes of communicating the gospel.  “Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.”  Teaching, preaching and healing are interrelated.  We spread the gospel in all three mediums.  Some people acknowledge the Lordship of Jesus Christ through intellectual ascent as they are taught the mysteries of God.  Others come to Him via the proclamation of the Word of God.  Still, others will not receive the message until their needs (physical, emotional and psychological) are addressed.  This multiple approach ensures that we reach all persons.

The latter part of the fifth chapter of Acts records the first instance of persecution on behalf of the gospel.  The apostles were imprisoned, unfairly tried, beaten and released for spreading the message of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Is a redemptive purpose to suffering.  Martin Luther King, Jr. offered, “Unearned suffering is redemptive.”  Someone else might suggest that our responses to a situation determines whether it is redemptive.  MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) was started because a mother who lost her son due to drunk driving decided that she would not be a victim.  Another mother whose son was killed in a shooting began a support group for families with similar experiences.  They have raised the societal consciousness about driving while intoxicated and random gun violence.  Those two responses negated the victim’s complex.  They also made those deaths more than statistics.  In taking those steps, those mothers redeemed their suffering.

More significantly, redemption occurs when people are willing to be agents of divine purposes.  When threatened by the Sanhedrin, the apostles responded, “We must obey God rather than men!”  In our suffering, we must choose to discern God’s will; accept it and live within it.  In doing so, we seek God’s possibilities in any given situation.  We renounce the habit of seeing ourselves as victims.  We ask the Holy Spirit to empower us to accomplish a divine purpose in our trials.  As we follow God’s guidance, we redeem our suffering.

Finally, a spiritual author suggests “Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress.”  Certainly, you have heard the phrase, “No pain, no gain.”  The miracle of inner healing and wholeness emerges when a person straightforwardly embraces his pain.  Acknowledging the depth of the pain and need to resolve it becomes the foundation for healing.  Denial never yields healing.  Rather, it extends the agony of the sickness and disease.  Therefore, the miracle and mystery of healing with the willingness to be honest with Almighty God and with one’s self in admitting the need for help.  From the whirlpool of alcoholism and drug addiction to the agonizing clutches of profound mental illness, a frank, thorough and forthright admission of the need of help is the fundamental cause of healing.  This humble plea for help equates with the biblical concept of a mustard seed’s worth of faith.  The countless and nameless people in Acts 5 who received healing willingly demonstrated their desire by seeking the apostles’ help.  Regardless of the illness that plagues you, I encourage you to emulate their example by genuinely searching for help.  Thereby, you like they will find inner healing and wholeness.

Balance

Achieving balance is significant to the healing process.  Balance is additionally necessary to resolving any personal or professional dilemma.  Anger, pity parties, finding excuses, rationalization, commiserating with fellow sufferers, and blaming someone else, all, impede the acquisition of balance.  Practically speaking, balance is the ability to find the assets and liabilities of any given situation.  An over emphasis on either side distorts our analysis and prevents us from learning and growing from our experience.  Yet, a balanced evaluation enables us to find helpful lessons as we journey forward and to discard the harmful circumstances.

When others mistreat us, we have an immediate tendency to thirst for revenge.  We want to even the score.  We want them to feel the same pain that we experience.  We justify these emotions with “righteous indignation.”  Our victimizers are evil people who should experience the wrath of God and the greatest punishment that the law allows because they have harmed us.  Embedded in those notions is an assumption that we are righteous and have never been victimizers.  “The rain falls on the just and the unjust a like.”  In addition, anger leads to resentment.  We harbor our own evil desires for the misfortune of others.  Left unresolved, this resentment festers into hatred, which is a cancer of the mind, heart, and soul.  This deadly combination of anger, vengeance, resentment and possibly hatred prevents us from scrutinizing a situation such that we can learn from it.

If we are willing to tone down our emotions, we can take a balanced approach to resolving any challenge.  Were our “victimizers” correct in any of their statements and assessments?  Interestingly, we must ask whether we can learn anything from them.  Casting aspersion upon them and assassinating their characters merely makes us just like them.  Having had this difficult and hurtful experience, are there any new skills that we achieved?  Are we a better judge of people’s character?  Are we more discerning of human behavior?  Do we now know whom to trust?  The refusal to assess our experiences for their benefits and shortcomings inhibits any possibility that we can heal and grow from them.

Should we find ourselves in the midst of a major health challenge, we may fall prey easily to the temptation to engage in endless pity parties.  Poor me!  Why me?  God, how could you allow this to happen?  After all the good that I have done in the world, how could this happen to me?  Incessantly asking such questions prevents us from looking at our dilemma with a balanced perspective.  What role, if any, did we play in bringing about this health crisis?  Did we throw caution and discipline to wind as it relates to diet, exercise, and preventive healthcare?  If we were to change these habits, would they help in the healing process?  What are the residual benefits to increasing the depth of our spirituality?  Can we cultivate the discipline to follow the doctor’s orders and partner with him or her in the healing process?  These questions among several others can assist us in taking an inventory of the pluses and minuses of our predicament.  With such a balanced analysis, we can proceed to strengthening our assets and neutralizing our liabilities.

Practicing good financial stewardship is another area that requires balance.  The quest to eliminate debt may lead us to inadvertently overpay our bills.  Thereby, we fail to leave ourselves enough cash flow until our next pay period.  Moreover, financial balance requires that we clearly differentiate between “needs” and “wants.”  It also necessitates the cultivation of delayed gratification.  We must learn to wait.  Lusting after material acquisition digs deeper pits of debt and high interest rates.  Imagine practicing the balance of desiring a big ticket item, researching what the market allows as the best price for that item; saving the necessary amount while allowing for inflation; purchasing the item with cash and enjoying the item without revolving debt and high interest rates.  In its simplest form, good financial stewardship seeks a balanced scale of credits and debits.  Finding the discipline, self-control and willingness to achieve that balance leads to the joy of the previous example.

Without balance, we can never gain a realistic and holistic outlook on anything.  “Anger turns off the light in the mind.”  Accordingly, wallowing in “righteous indignation” immediately produces blind spots in our analysis.  Throwing pity parties is an elaborate form of egocentricity.  Blaming others is a fallacious attempt to absolve ourselves of any responsibility in the matter.  In contrast, if we are willing to examine any experience with a detailed and determined approach to find the positive and negative, then we can learn and grow from it.  Furthermore, we must be willing to acknowledge straightforwardly the role we played rather than excessively dwelling on the “unjust” actions of others.  Summarily, balance enables us to transform any hurtful situation into an asset for daily living.