Marie Osmond’s Reflections on Her Son’s Suicide:
A Message of HOPE (Hearing Other People’s Experiences)
Third, in reply to a question about the turbulence of her recent divorce proceedings which ended a twenty-year marriage, Osmond insightfully says, “You marry at the level of your self-esteem.” We seek ourselves in personal relationships. Spouses, significant others and friends personify mirrors of our current characters. Really, “birds of a feather flock together.” Nevertheless, as it relates to children and parenting, Osmond firmly if regrettably states that parents cannot give their children self-esteem. Unconditional self-acceptance is an attribute that children must fight for and acquire on their own. However, parents can model this characteristic for their children. Her divorce, despite her resolve to succeed in this second marriage, became necessary as her children witnessed emotional, mental and psychological abuse in her relationship. Remaining in such an unhealthy situation teaches children that it is permissible to allow someone, in the name of love, to demean and devalue your personhood. As a loving mother who greatly desires the very best for her children, Osmond made the difficult but necessary decision to end her long-term marriage.
Fourth, Osmond mentioned the need to forgive people who with a profound intention to be helpful say some very hurtful and stupid things. In an attempt to comfort her, someone told her to remember that at least she had seven other children. In reply, Osmond straightforwardly stated that she has eight children as her departed son will live forever in her heart. Not surprisingly but ever so regrettably, Osmond heard several such well-intentioned but harmful sayings. She suggests that you overlook people’s mistakes and focus upon their desire to relieve your pain.
Finding a “new normal” is very necessary after experiencing a tragedy of monumental proportions. In retrospect, Osmond discovered that her son attempted to call her almost forty-five minutes before he jumped to his death. She did not take the call as she was preparing to return to the stage as a part of a live show with her brother, Donny. Immediately, you imagine the countless “What ifs.” Could taking that call have made the fundamental difference in her son’s will to live or die? Should she have arranged for him to attend the show that night? The superfluous desire to reverse the sequence of events that equal a tragedy always asks these types of questions to the nth degree. Osmond insists you must stop asking “What if” questions in order to regain your life. At some point, you must awaken yourself from surrealistic nightmare of bereavement, loss and tragedy. Life goes on. You have to find a “new normal” that incorporates the hurtful experience in a way that causes you to grow and become a better person.
Osmond concluded the interview by singing an aria of praise to Almighty God and commemoration of the life of her son. As she began the song, she offered an indirect statement of faith, “I offer this song to remember his life. Because of what I believe, I know that I will see him again.” I really appreciated the fact that she concluded this interview with an affirmative testimonial of faith. A stalwart belief in the promises of Almighty God and His unquestionable faithfulness is foundational for surviving any catastrophe. Personally, I am most grateful to our Sister Marie Osmond for her gift in sharing her reflections on her son’s suicide. In so doing, she gives bountifully to so many people whose lives have been ravished by disaster. She in addition will help those persons who will directly know her pain in the future. When they do, they can find hope in the humility and genuineness of her words and the wisdom of her experience.
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