Motives

“What begins right, ends right and what begins wrong, ends wrong.”

My late paternal grandfather, who was my father for all practical purposes, often reminded my siblings and myself of that maxim.  In the twenty-one years since his death in July 1989, I realize that this saying speaks to the importance of motives. 

Examining one’s motives crucially determines the success or failure of any undertaking.  When deciding between job offers, one needs clarity about how significantly money will decide the outcome.  Perhaps, it would be better to take the job that pays less.  The rewards of a job that allows you to utilize all of your talents and gifts by working from the impetus of your passion exceed the benefits of a high paying career.  Chances are you would be happier in such a job.  But, if your major motivation is money, then the intangible benefits of success will pass you by.  Clarifying motives helps to resolve whether you will make a good choice or not.

Defining our motives requires unconditional and complete honesty.  Asking the question, “What do I really hope to gain,” is very significant.  From this date, do I merely want sex or am I really interested in getting to know this person?  Do I feel anything for him or her that would motivate me to commit to establishing a relationship?  Answering those questions frankly and succinctly will decide whether to ask for or accept the date.

Our motives lie within the crevices of our minds and in the cellars of our hearts.  Because they are deeply embedded within our character, we deceive ourselves if we guess we can avoid them in decision-making.  Eventually, we act upon our primary motives.  Once they have been satisfied, then we are unable to fake interest in people and things that no longer capture our imagination or attention.  Because we loose interest, we move on to another job.  We begin another relationship.  We look for something else that may accomplish our purposes.  Accepting our motives in the beginning spares us the trouble of starting and restarting.   Beginning a project or relationship with the right motives usually means things work out for the best.

Interestingly, our motives determine whether our behavior is moral and ethical.  The great German philosopher, Immanuel Kant, denounced the practice of objectifying people for personal satisfaction and gain.  He encouraged people to consider the consequences of choices and actions if they become a universal maxim.  Simply speaking, what happens if everyone in the world behaves with the same motives as you do?  Kant’s idea is a practical extension of the golden rule.  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Nonetheless, both concepts necessitate a comprehensive evaluation of motives before undertaking any action.  Otherwise, you may end up using people to fulfill your self-centered fears and needs.  We may choose a job for what it provides for us rather than what we can contribute.  When we purposefully and knowingly take options to satisfy our selfish ambitions, those choices are immoral and unethical.  Ironically, they usually end in some unfortunate circumstance.

The practice of examining one’s motive is central to the disciplines of personal development and spiritual growth.  The daily practice of prayer and meditation are essential tools for analyzing our motives.  In order to sift out selfishness and personal anxiety, we lift our motives and desires to the light of God’s character.  When viewed through the prism of the Holy Spirit and the Bible, an honest assessment of our motives emerges.  Furthermore, we should develop the daily ritual of pulling aside from the hustle and bustle of life to evaluate our motives.  This clarity is significant in determining our participation in any discussion or project.  What do we really hope to gain?  Do we wish to contribute anything meaningful to improving the lives of others?

When we start an undertaking with the wrong motives, it ends in disaster.  We deeply hurt people because we disregarded their feelings.  We hurt ourselves by living like animals in sole pursuit of the satisfaction of our basic instincts.  On the contrary, when we honestly admit our motives, then we have a chance at a new and good beginning.  An open-minded meeting with a sincere intent to get to know someone could eventuate into a growing and fulfilling marriage.  However, both scenarios begin with an honest appraisal of one’s motives.  “What begins right, ends right and what begins wrong, ends wrong.”