Second Pathway – Completely Dissolving Anger – Part
II
My friend’s divorce experience
parallels Israel’s wilderness years.
Those decades were a very fertile time in the nation’s history, religion
and literature. Usually, desert terrain
does not produce spiritual, anthropological and literary treasures. People expect fruit of these creative
pursuits in more pleasant settings and favorable times. During the two centuries of the Pax Romana,
the Empire devoted its wealth, acquisitions and resources to nation building
and securing an indelible historical legacy.
Israel, however, fortifies its contribution of monotheism, law, history,
theology and the sacred literature of the Hebrew Bible within the challenging
context of wilderness wandering. On a
personal level, trying times afford illimitable opportunities to grow
spiritually. A person discovers what
lies deeply within. Historians
characterize the years that Churchill spent out of power before his ascendancy
as the Prime Minister of Great Britain during the Second World War as his
“wilderness years.” Arguably, that was
the most psychologically and intra-personally fertile period in his life. Without that catharsis, Churchill may not
have gained necessary attributes to surmount the indefinable challenges of
England’s greatest conflict. Both my
friend’s divorce and Churchill’s humbling years of exile reflect the necessity
of embracing difficult circumstances as an effective pathway to individual
healing.
In pursuit of pure gold, alchemists of
centuries ago experimented with countless substances and utilized equally
innumerable methods. In their archaic
approaches and superstition, these pseudo-scientists ignored of rudiments of
the scientific method. As chemistry and
other branches of the natural sciences exceeded the alchemists, they began to
allegorize their methods. Carl Jung and
other psychologists appropriated the practice of alchemy. Alchemists used dissolution to refine gold,
eliminating dross and other impurities.
Jung posits the necessity of dissolving anger and other patterns of
consciousness that impeded a person’s good and growth. Comprehensively embracing pain and completely
dissolving anger are two complementary pathways to personal healing.
Anger is one of the most toxic emotions
a person can feel. Left unresolved anger
becomes a poison that infiltrates consciousness and character. Its residual cynicism contaminates a person’s
outlook upon life. Feelings of happiness
and excitement are not possible as anger consumes those emotions. Why be enthusiastic about anything when you
are enduringly angry? Disappointment
surely emerges. You will be angry at
yourself for allowing yourself to be excited about something. Harboring anger for any length of time erodes
personal and professional relationships.
Angry people resolve that they cannot trust anyone lest they fall prey
to betrayal, lies, deceit and manipulation yet again.
Bitterness, an obvious corollary of
anger, develops from nursing vivid resentments.
Sequential failure and defeat without reflection inevitably yields
bitterness and fury. To resent means to
relive injurious conversations and hurtful experiences. In the mind’s eye, you see yourself in that
predicament rehearsing its insults again and again. In the privacy of your car, you respond aloud
as if you were having the original conversation. In your imagination, you best the person with
your newfound emotional and mental strength.
You say what you wish you had said.
In your Walter Smitty like rehearsal, you are not a victim; you possess
internal resources to protect yourself.
In the words of John Bradshaw whose multiple books describe the process
of the maturing inner child who is no longer fearful, you liberate yourself
from emotional dominance. As you have
not healed from this hurtful incident, you retain your furor at your
victimizer. Moreover, you undoubtedly
are angry at yourself for failing to protect yourself. As your anger enlarges with the force of
water rushing through a broken dam, it overflows into all parts of your life.
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