Authenticity
An
Antidote to Relational and Personal Pain
Part II
Acceptance and awareness
are important components of authenticity.
In “The Great Commandment” (Matthew 22:34-40), the Lord Jesus distills
the entire teaching Law and Prophets into a two-part dictate. Love Almighty God with our whole being and
love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
In order to fulfill the second part of this divine law of love, we must
first love ourselves as unconditionally as God loves us. Self-acceptance is the beginning of
self-love. The latter is very hard to
attain these days as society bombards average persons with unrealistic
standards of beauty, fame, fortune and success.
Self-worth depends heavily upon material acquisition and
physicality. Unless you have a
six-figure salary or seven-figures or greater net worth and possess a face and
physique suitable for a magazine cover, you are not allowed to value
yourself. In stark contrast, the Psalter
insists each person is “fearfully and wonderfully made in the innermost depths
of the Earth” by Almighty God. Every
person is a unique child of God. I posit
the necessity of unconditionally accepting the Psalter’s view of humankind as
the foundation of self-acceptance.
Appreciating yourself without the need to explain, defend, justify,
excuse or apologize for your tastes, talents, interests, preferences, views or
quirks yields authenticity.
Awareness emerges from
self-evaluation which is an important daily spiritual discipline. Whether upon awakening in the morning, during
the middle of the day after lunch, leaving work and traveling home or just
before falling asleep, it is help to practice what Howard Thurman characterizes
as “a strange freedom.” This period of
prayer and meditation equates with withdrawal from life’s busyness to examine one’s
life. What is my mission and purpose in
life? How do I best serve God and
humankind? What are my current
fears? Have I forgiven anyone and
everyone of anything and everything that have ever done to harm me? Am I grateful for life’s enduring riches of
love, joy, peace, truth and justice? Am I using my God given creativity and
talents? Do I unconditionally accept
myself? Answers to personally relevant
versions of these questions yield increasing self-awareness which determines
how we use our time, abilities and energy.
Clarity helps us honestly decide whether we can or care to help someone
in need.
Are you being more
authentic with people? Most assuredly, I
can answer that question in the affirmative.
Daily, I pray for spiritual wisdom and discernment as I leave home. I hope to maximize each day by completing the
most meaningful tasks. Utilizing the
enduring encouragement of the “Serenity Prayer,” I seek God’s guidance for the
best use of my time and talents. What
are the activities in which I most suited to make the best contribution? Unlike the Apostle Paul, I am unable to all
things to all people. Realistically, I
no longer have the desire to attempt such a Herculean feat. Moreover, I seek clarity about my
motives. Are my intentions honorable and
reasonable? Am I participating to fill a
lingering intrapersonal and emotional need which I hope to satisfy with the
fleeting and usually insincere praise of people? Today, I can simply let my “Yes” be “Yes and
my “No” be “No.” If I help someone, I do
so with the primary objective of honoring and glorifying Almighty God. Should they thank me, then I hope to accept
their gratitude as humbly and graciously as I can. If they do not, then I accept the thanks of
my Heavenly Father. If I do not help a
person, I recognize I am unable to do so for any number of reasons. Further, I acknowledge in some instances I
elect not to help because I do care to do so.
Ultimately, they will not suffer as God will put them and their needs on
the hearts and minds of other people who are better suited than me. I will live with integrity today I honestly
deal with people about my heartfelt desires and willingness. I will be authentic.
When I am authentic, I
remove the possibility of relational and personal pain. I cannot be hurt by any outcomes as I only
engage those commitments that I can embrace wholeheartedly. I expect nothing in return. I invest in those persons and projects that
are most meaningful to me. I share with
integrity and without equivocation my genuine feelings and thoughts. I attempt to fulfill “The Great Commandment” by
loving Almighty God with my whole being and sharing His love with my
neighbor. When I commit for the right
reasons and with sincerity, I am authentic.
Thus, I cannot be hurt. My
authenticity is the surest antidote to emotional and existential pain.
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