Retreat to Sacred Space

Retreat to Sacred Space

I live in New York City, the City that never sleeps.  At any hour of the day or night, the City’s cacophony drowns out nature’s symphony of chirping birds, buzzing bees, singing crickets and rustling leaves.  Screeching brakes of buses and delivery trucks, honking horns of impatient drivers and noise emanating from millions of people living in a compact space prevent silence and solitude.  Appreciating spatterings of foliage in the fall is nearly impossible when driving along the Cross Island Parkway and Grand Central Parkway.  Fast and furious motorists with loud mufflers weave sporadically between lanes necessitating extra vigilance.  The pace of City living relegates everyone to the proverbial rat race in which a person rarely reflects as he shifts between activities and places in a New York minute.  Still, it is hard to function effectively and efficiently without daily introspection.  An assessment of daily living, just before sleep, results in immediate snores followed by piercing sounds of an alarm clock.  Accordingly, I suggest retreating to sacred space at some other time during the day.

Though physically located in New York City and perhaps driving on one of its major veins, I retreat to one of my favorite sacred spaces.  Mystically, I travel back to the front porch of the wooden house where I grew up on the Old Salterstown Road in Sumter, South Carolina.  Encased with torn screens designed to keep bees, flies, wasps, mosquitoes and other insects out, the porch had a warped gray wooden floor that would not absorb a shine.  It was twice the size of an efficiency apartment kitchen in the City.  There, on a clear sunny Carolina morning in any season, I sat in a worn kitchen chair with a seat cushion.  Surrounded by bright daffodils in springtime and October roses in the fall, a huge chinaberry tree adorned the adjacent driveway made of rocks, dirt and gravel.  Across the road, Mr. Burgess’ soybean field extended into the horizon.  Graciously, he allowed the neighborhood residents to pick freely from bountiful pear and pecans trees on his property.  Actually, on any day whether sunny, cloudy, rainy, misty, foggy or brilliant and picturesque, I meditated, planned, reflected, retreated and dreamt about my future.  Mostly, I thought of myriad ways to escape the poverty which surrounded me.  I knew it would break my spirit and severely limit my life if I failed to devise a means of liberation.

Sacred space is holy ground because of God’s presence.  You will recall God’s instructs Moses to take off his shoes at the scene of the burning bush.  Moses hears the voice of God in the bush which though illuminated is not being consumed.  Moses must take off his shoes because he is in the presence of Almighty God.  Sacred space offers an especial opportunity for a transformative and singular encounter with the divine.  The Bible contains several stories in which ordinary people experience a theophany as they attend to daily tasks.  Joshua meets the Captain of the Lord’s Host in the midst of a fierce battle.  In the Upper Room where the Lord instructs them about the burgeoning kingdom of God, the disciples receive the Holy Spirit after the resurrection.  Paul and Silas, as they sing hymns at midnight, more greatly understand God’s power via an earthquake in a Philippian jail.  In the serenity and silence of these sacred spaces, these ordinary persons receive an astonishing moment of truth and clarity.  Similarly, when we retreat to our favorite sacred spaces, God reveals insight and spiritual knowledge yielding inner healing and wholeness.

Howard Thurman discourses upon self-mastery which emerges within periods and spaces of retreat and pilgrimage.  At these times, a person withdraws voluntarily from daily busyness with intention of better understanding himself.  Self-evaluation is vital to spiritual maturity and personal development.  Many people would not suffer emotionally if persons with whom they share intimate relationships consistently examined raw and unvarnished motives.  Men would not manipulate women’s feelings in order to have sex with them, were men to straightforwardly admit their self-centered and self-seeking desires.  The recovery community admonishes it adherents to practice taking an inventory of character assets and liabilities on a regular basis.  The process of self-mastery progresses through three stages: hubris, humiliation and humility.  First, you admit your intensely ego-driven desires.  Second, you sit humiliated before Almighty God as you honestly accept defects of your character and incapacities of your heart.  As you remain in God’s gracious presence, He transforms your character thereby granting you humility.  Additionally, God teaches you HOW to return to human relationships with intention to live as a moral and ethical agent.  Being truthful fosters increasing willingness to practice a lifestyle that honors and glorifies Almighty God. 

Sacred space is necessary to practice spiritual disciplines necessary to emulating mind, heart and character of Jesus Christ.  Prayer and meditation occur naturally in mystical spaces where you feel the presence of God.  Contrary to entrenched religious traditions, a person does not have to be in an ecclesiastical sanctuary to pray.  Geography hardly determines the genuineness of a person’s heart.  Whether driving on a parkway, mowing lawn, riding New York City subway, washing dishes, doing laundry, shoveling snow, your sincere heart and authentic desire to commune with Almighty God transforms the activity and space into holy ground.  There you receive God’s gracious gifts of insight and guidance to achieve the deepest desires of your heart.

In addition, sacred space becomes a mystical studio.  We are channels of God’s love and creativity.  He uses us to communicate His favor, compassion and mercy to humankind.  As unique children of God, we express His divine gifts.  Retreating to sacred space equates with an artist diligently spending time in his studio where divine inspiration, creativity and ingenuity emerge.  There, God rewards the artist’s persistence in his craft.  Similarly, God graciously imparts imagination, bold ideas and superlative achievements to any person seeking His face.  

Faith and Trepidation - Part One

Faith and Trepidation – Part One

Trepidation permeates a person’s life as he strives toward faithfulness.  Genuinely relying upon Almighty God is actually scary.  It is hard to sit still and observe the salvation of the Lord.  Equally, it is challenging to stand aside as the Lord instructs King Jehoshaphat and watch the Lord fight your battles.  Our rugged individualism coerces us to argue vociferously in our own defense.  Should words prove insufficient, it is natural to become combative and venomous.  Yet, Florence Scovel Shinn posits in her compelling book, The Game and Life and How to Play It, that spiritual maturity consists of willingness to trust Almighty God to bear your burdens and fight your battles.  Regardless of how easily a person recites these spiritual affirmations, remains very difficult to avoid feelings of trepidation about the unknown outcomes.

A persistent uneasiness about of future events, trepidation manifests in myriad ways.  Imagine angst consuming every waking minute as you anticipate an arbitration hearing.  Will the Lord defend your honor and protect you from your enemies?  At the hearing, will you resemble a goose in a courtroom filled with foxes?  Though you theoretically trust God to orchestrate outcomes toward your maximum benefit, you internally fight the temptation to manipulate the results.  You wonder whether you are wasting time and energy.  Does anyone owe you any favors?  Can they favorably influence the proceedings on your behalf?  Your deep desire for an end to living provisionally compels you to force an outcome.  Excited yet pensive and cautious as you genuinely and humbly rely upon Almighty God, you strive painstakingly to deaden the vociferous disquiet that overcomes your soul.  Whereas faith fills your heart, trepidation resounds within your mind.

Left unchecked, trepidation eventuates in mistakes.  Trusting Almighty God with an unwavering faith is the cure to trepidation in all its insidious iterations.  Wallowing in confusion and willfulness and a thousand forms of fear culminates in regrettable consequences.  Trepidation creates paralysis.  A decade ago, I realized that the persons with whom I worked and I were mismatched.  In the words of one of them, we were “force fitting things.”  On the third Thursday in August of that year, I knew beyond any doubt that I should resign my position to explore other professional and personal endeavors.  However, my trepidation about the monthly mortgage payment and other obligations prevented me from listening to my inner still small voice.  Enduringly, I wish I had possessed the faith to rely genuinely upon Almighty God to lead me to new opportunities.  Because of intractable trepidation, I made a costly mistake!

Veiled as adhering steadfastly to the will of God, my trepidation coerced me into staying another four and a half years.  In retrospect, I lament wasting one thousand, six hundred and forty days (1642) of my life.  Currently, I pursue educational and vocational goals that I could have accomplished sooner had I possessed requisite faith and trust in Almighty God.  My fears overshadowed my faith thereby empowering the worst attributes of a combative, assertive and intractable egotistical personality.  In the starkest irony, I fought to serve people who were incapable of appreciating and unwilling to receive my service.  Yet, my bravado at the time compelled me to fight against the hard reality that the persons with whom I worked and I operated with fundamentally divergent principles.  Had I been more humble and genuinely reliant upon Almighty God, I would have forsaken the trepidation I felt and trusted Him to open the door to the next phase of my life.

Often, character defects fuel trepidation.  Patterns of thought in a person’s consciousness and character create resistance to spiritual maturity and personal development.  I had a proverbial “chip on my shoulder.”  Easily, people offended me.  My ingrained sense of dignity emanating from my proud value system made me inflexible.  Regardless of any one’s intention, I heard and saw offense.  I immediately addressed it and demanded an apology.  Like a bull in a china shop, I confronted the perpetrator with the intent of eliminating any possibility that he would repeat his error.  My argumentative nature and righteous indignation combined to annihilate any reasonable explanations to the contrary.  Extending the benefit of the doubt did not occur to me as an alternative. 

As I reflect upon this experience, I regret my inability to see the blessings embedded in my vocational and existential crisis a decade ago.  I had an opportunity to learn finally how to trust in God in every situation.  Being self-reliant, I never imagined resigning a job without having another job.  Actually, I worked three times as hard to prevent any possibility of termination.  Still, the incongruity between my congregation and me afforded me a chance to cease investing a losing proposition.  Had I not found the wherewithal to trust God, I could still be there.  Regrettably, I did not also ask for willingness and courage to trust His will.  I could have avoided wasting irretrievable time and energy had I accepted God’s will and “staggered forward rejoicing” in obedience.  Though I repeated religious and sanctimonious rhetoric of leaning on the everlasting arms of God, I was too afraid to seek His next divine assignment.  Two of my most favorite Bible verses reassure me that God always seeks my best in every predicament: Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28.  The former verse insists God’s plans a bright, hopeful and rewarding future for each disciple.  The latter verse says God mysteriously and magnificently orchestrates every detail toward my good. 

The intervening years taught me to rely unconditionally upon Almighty God as He does not shift like sand or move like shadows.  His will is the safest place for me vocationally.  I cannot depend upon any human power for my security.  People will disappoint you.  God will never leave me or forsake me.  As I internalize these spiritual and biblical truths, I obtain willingness to trust God without conditions.  I relinquish my previous self-reliance emerging mostly from persistent trepidation.  As a child, I felt adults consistently failed and disappointed me.  As a consequence, I could not trust anyone.  That belief extended even to Almighty God to whom I only appealed for His sanction of my predetermined plans.  My refusal to trust Him meant I lingered in fear and trepidation for decades.

Faith and Trepidation - Part Two

Faith and Trepidation – Part Two

Friends of mine offer FEAR as two acronyms: (1) Forget everything and run and (2) False evidence appearing real.  Fear’s irrationality and insidiousness motivates its victims to bury their heads in sands of denial and paralysis.  It equally magnifies feelings and confuses them with facts.  Fear, a persistent negative outlook upon life’s circumstances, permeates mind and heart.  A person living with fear possesses an unsettled mind and troubled heart.  He expects the worse in each scenario.  He questions whether he can trust God.  As he lacks peace of mind and heart, he waits for the next unfortunate outcome; as a positive one is unimaginable.  He fears God will fail him.  Priding himself in being an intellectual skeptic and realist, he refuses to put his faith in God.  He imprisons himself within the valley of the shadow of death, seeing decay and decomposition all around him.

Trepidation appears normal in the life of a genuine disciple as it is difficult to be still and wait on God.  My family and I survived Super Storm Sandy which ravaged the Northeastern region of the United States on 29 October 2012. Though we prepared for the storm by purchasing food, non perishable items, flashlights, batteries, candles, blankets and other essential supplies, we sat in trepidation listening to hurricane force winds and battering torrential rains.  We wondered whether we would lose electricity.  We feared the winds might break windows.  We prayed that trees would not crash into the house.  We hoped lightning would not cause spontaneous fires.  We wished power lines would remain intact thereby preventing any random electrocutions.  Our trepidation during that natural disaster, the second worst storm in the history of the United States, resembles daily angst.  Though they prepare for positive outcomes and proceed to with their daily affairs, many people harbor a level of trepidation about whether they are safe.  They ask silently whether Almighty God will protect them from unforeseeable danger. 

Mature faith rarely progresses in a straight line.  Spiritual growth happens in life’s daily furnace as experiences, mysteries and lessons burn away dross of a disciple’s character.  As he zigzags imperfectly through daily challenges and adversities, he discovers genuine faith in Almighty God as his Infinite Provision, Protection and Intelligence.  Trials and tribulations cultivate humility within him as he learns to rely steadfastly upon God’s goodness.  Practice of spiritual disciplines yields a disciple’s attentiveness to God’s faithfulness.  As he experiences change of natural seasons, he realizes greater appreciation for God’s trustworthiness throughout seasons of his personal life.  Complexity, confusion and challenge offer greater faith as he benefits from God’s amazing grace.  Though feelings of trepidation fluctuate, he experiences new joys and mysteries because he holds unswervingly to God’s unchanging hand.

Abraham, the father of faith and many nations, demonstrates ideally how to have faith despite daily interruptions of trepidations.  God promises Abraham an heir from his own loins though he is one hundred years old and his wife, Sarah, is ninety years old.  Physically, it seems impossible for God to accomplish this feat.  Still, Abraham believes God possesses power to manipulate natural law to accomplish His purpose.  Relying upon God’s enduring faithfulness from His initial pledge when He instructs Abraham to leave the Ur of the Chaldeans.  Abraham trusts God to keep any promise He makes.  As a consequence, Abraham’s heart leaps with joy and his mind explodes with excitement as he realizes God will give a natural heir, to him.  Understandably, as the promises lingers, Abraham’s emotions shift from enthusiasm to trepidation.  Abraham does not waver in doubt and unbelief because God’s previous faithfulness steadfastly persuades him that God is able to do what He promises.  His impatience is a type of trepidation; it counteracts its effects, Abraham dwells upon God’s character and trustworthiness.  Countless examples of God’s unquestioned reliability flood his consciousness and memories.  From Lot’s rescue from the burning sulfur of Sodom and Gomorrah to the preservation of Sarah’s honor to the bounty of Abraham’s material, agricultural and geographical acquisition, he knows he can trust God’s word. 

To conquer their collective trepidation about the reliability of the resurrection of the Lord, Paul encourages the Church at Corinth to “be steadfast, immovable and always abounding in the work of the Lord knowing that your labor is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:17)  In practical terms, Paul’s admonition means “take the next right step.”  For contemporary disciples who suffer with trepidation as they wait upon God’s deliverance and revelation, faithfully practicing spiritual disciplines negates angst and fears.  It is hard to be still and rely genuinely upon God.  Every impulse towards self-reliant and self-aggrandizing behavior arises.  Fueled by self-centered fears and self-seeking motives, these instincts eventuate in self-sabotage.  As we evaluate our unvarnished motives, we often discover longstanding patterns of thought in consciousness and character that clash with God’s will.  A fear that these egotistical impulses will remain insatiate is the primary causes of trepidation.  As we pray, affirm and meditate upon the Word of God, we find clarity as to the next right steps towards God’s purpose and will.  Additionally, exercise, journaling, reading and study are means of discerning the next right step. Adherence to these spiritual disciplines deadens trepidation.  Moreover, faithful practices of spiritual graces are the means of maturity in faith and character.

Acceptance of life on its terms as it evolves daily is the surest means of eradicating trepidation.  Realizing that God does not allow anything to happen out of order equals acceptance.  As the Creator of the Universe, God does not abandon us to chaotic, random and dangerous forces.  He permits whatever happens.  However regrettable many experiences may be, they occur within God’s permissive and circumstantial will.  Easily, negative experiences overwhelm us as we ponder God’s silence and inactivity.  In contrast, we learn from every situation.  We further commit to trusting God as we know He orchestrates suffering, pain and misfortunate toward redemptive purposes.  In each experience, we ask “What do I need to know?”  Answering that question usually resolves any trepidation; it refocuses our mind and yields clarity of purpose.  

Genuine Reliance Upon Almighty God: "What Would You Have Me to Do?" - Part One

Genuine Reliance Upon Almighty God:

“What Would You Have Me to Do?” – Part One

Have you ever really asked God, “What would you have me to do?”  Many disciples with longstanding histories in any churches and generations of legacy in the Christian faith have not asked Almighty God that simple and straightforward question.  More amazing, countless clergypersons assume they have.  Religiosity, rituals, righteousness and repetitive attendance at worship easily lend themselves to this assumption.  However, it is not a certainty that faithful practice of spiritual disciplines and growth in discipleship development necessarily mean you ask to discern God’s.

What do you do when your will conflicts with God’s will?  Admitting this clash of wills offends the prevalent righteousness of many disciples.  Of course, I want the will of God to unfold in my life!  In their book, A God Centered Church, Henry T. Blackaby and Melvin D. Blackaby record a funny and challenging story of a couple who prayed for a dream house into which they moved fully furnished to ideal specifications.  Within two years, the couple felt strongly that God was urging them to sell their long-awaited and deeply desired dream house and go on the mission field.  Like Jacob, this couple wrestled long and hard with Almighty God before yielding to His will. 

Additionally, a clergy colleague in an exhorting sermon on stewardship tells the story of a couple who saved seventy-five thousand dollars ($75,000) to purchase their dream house.  Simultaneously, a woman in their congregation needed the same amount of money for surgery.  They faced a dilemma as to whether they would obey the Holy Spirit’s leading and give their entire savings toward the surgery or whether they would purchase of the house.  Further, I attended a missions meeting at the annual session of The General Synod of The Reformed Church in America where a Christian brother shared his story of having saved the money to buy an antique Ford Thunderbird convertible.  As God would sow seeds of providence in his life, shortly before buying the car, he and his wife went on a missions trip to Haiti.  Overwhelmed by the extreme poverty he saw, this brother felt the Holy Spirit challenge him to give the money to missions in Haiti.  Hoping she would encourage him to buy the car as a reward for his many years of faithful service as a husband, father and disciple in the Church, he asked his wife for her thoughts.  She encouraged him to seek the Lord for His will.  These three examples demonstrate practical challenges for disciples in asking genuinely what God’s will is.

This question frightens many disciples as its answer may not accord with their instincts and ambitions.  Asking the question, “What would You have me to do,” leads inevitably to other queries.  What is the cost of doing God’s will?  Will it conveniently fit into my life?  How does accomplishing God’s will enrich my life?  God’s will does not always seem to make sense.  How do I follow Him when I have so few details?  What will be the ultimate outcome?  Will I succeed?  Will God embarrass me?  Will I receive any tangible reward or recognition for my service?  These very human questions often prevent well-intentioned disciples from to fulfilling “The Great Commandment” of loving the Lord God with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength.

God lives with us in the messiness and craziness of daily living.  Often our circumstances appear to eclipse God’s presence.  How do we ask genuinely, “What will you have me to do,” when a litany of challenges and adversities bombard our minds and hearts?  Bills begin to pile up on the dining room table.  Just when you think you have totaled your indebtedness to the penny, you discover another financial liability exceeding thirty percent of the previous sum.  At work, strained relationships jeopardize your job.  The resulting anxiety permeates your marriage and family life.  Your children wallow through murk and mire of adolescent indifference to grades and household chores.  You repeat the same admonitions, encouragements and lessons a million times.  A proper diet, consistent exercise and good sleep are very nice ideals.  Reliably, your cars need some type of unexpected maintenance at the most inconvenient time.  Emotionally, you ride the rollercoaster of fear, bewilderment, expectancy, and hope.  Still, you seek resolutions for these intertwined and complex challenges.  How do you ask for a clear revelation of God’s will in the midst of an emotional, financial and spiritual mess?  Would you not understandably relegate that question to being some esoteric and theological inquiry?     

How we ask genuinely to know God’s will as we struggle with multiplying and regrettable circumstances?  You stand to lose your job and primary source of income.  A renter refuses to remit thousands of dollars of arrears.  Bills mount on your kitchen table.  Someone saws off your catalytic converters necessitating an insurance claim and an unnecessary expenditure of five hundred dollars.  Adding insult to injury, your automobile company decides to discontinue your policy due to an excessive number of losses.  You know the truth of the old saying, “When it rains, it pours.”  Nevertheless, as someone seeking greater spiritual maturity, you ask Almighty God, “What would you have me to do at this juncture in my life?  What is your will   for me?”  The confluence of foregoing circumstances ideally positions you to humbly about God’s will.  These bleak circumstances coerce you to rely genuinely upon God.

Genuine Reliance Upon Almighty God: "What Would You Have Me to Do?" - Part Two

Genuine Reliance Upon Almighty God:

“What Would You Have Me to Do?” – Part Two

You may feel legitimately that God is playing a cruel joke upon you.  Perpetual problems create this feeling particularly when you have not done anything wrong.  As someone who strives to honor the Lord in daily living and treat your neighbor with compassion, you ponder incongruity of blessings and burdens within your circumstances.  Though you appreciate the spiritual maxim that the rain falls on the just and unjust alike, you want to know why God allows it to pour on your fields.  Someone with your skills and abilities deserves a more fruitful and successful life.  How can God equip you with myriad talents and fail to provide opportunities to actualize them?  Why did He even give them to you?  Is He playing a cruel joke on you?

Cynicism undoubtedly results as these feelings persist.  You believe you are living a nightmare from which you hope an angel loved one will wake you.  You descend more deeply into an existential death.  You conclude your life is an utter waste.  You cease to dream anymore.  You lose the joy of your salvation.  For what would you praise God as your life seems to spiral out of control?  Feeling stuck helplessly in life’s quicksand, you courageously and faithfully ask Almighty God, “Is there more?”  What did God have in mind when He put His eternal spirit in you and sent you earthward?  However difficult these questions of faith are, they encourage and empower you to seek the will of Almighty God. 

As your Infinite Supply, Intelligence and Defense, God mysteriously transforms these circumstances into catalysts of change and growth.  Your financial challenges become a means of practicing good stewardship.  In future days of bounty, you will maximize your blessings.  As you recall your time of lean harvests, you will be a blessing to others who are in need.  Termination from a job forces you to finally pursue your heartfelt dreams.  The comfort and convenience of receiving a regular paycheck every two weeks hardly motivates anyone to re-evaluate his finances or priorities.  The love of spouses, family members and close friends becomes more meaningful during difficult times.  The self delusion of being in control of our lives rarely leads to a genuine reliance upon Almighty God.  Multiple adversities and challenges in a season of life tempts us to wallow in negative thoughts.  When mental balance returns, we are in an ideal place to ask God for His guidance.

There are several noteworthy stories in which biblical characters feel God abandons them.  Job, after enduring unimaginable grief, asks Almighty God, “Do you have eyes of flesh?  Do you see as a mortal sees?”  (Job 10:4)  His bewilderment forces Job to confront God.  Is it reliably the case that God is good all the time?  Job’s trepidation and questions about God’s motives seem reasonable as Job did not commit any offenses or lapse into apostasy.  Further, Jonah dismisses God’s will as misguided when he flees to Tarshish instead of obeying divine directive to travel to Nineveh and preach a message of repentance.  Jonah concludes the Ninevehites do not deserve God’s grace.  He more especially resolves that it is a waste of his, Jonah’s, time.  Jonah determines that it is beneath him to follow God’s orders; he expresses disdain for the people of Nineveh.  Jonah eventually adheres to God’s will but afterwards regrets doing so.  As Jonah sulks underneath a tree, he believes God abandons him to a worthless and fruitless vocation as a prophet.  Third, in the well-known biblical passage relating to tithing, Malachi 3:8-18, the prophet chastises his listeners for questioning whether it pays to serve God.  They distract themselves as they observe the bountiful blessings of persons who do not subscribe to their religious beliefs and commitments.  What is in it for them?  Essentially, they feel abandoned to randomness of daily living.  What is the purpose of surrendering tithes and offerings as a devotion to a God who fails to bless them?  Finally, the Psalter asks some very heartrending questions about God’s character and faithfulness in Psalm 77.  “Has His unfailing love vanished forever?”  “Will He never show His favor again?”  “Has His promise failed for all time?”  These inquiries reflect the Psalter’s hopelessness and helplessness as he doggedly strives to cling to his faith in Almighty God.  The cumulative question of Job, Jonah, Malachi and the Psalter, “How does a person genuinely rely upon God when he feels abandoned by God,” mirrors heartfelt questions of countless contemporary disciples.

Nevertheless, when disciples ask that question they are ideally situated emotionally, experientially and existentially to rely genuinely upon Almighty God.  The confluence of circumstances in their lives coerces the question.  Certain humility befalls disciples who find themselves in this predicament.  As these disciples recognize their extreme limitations, they humbly ask God, “What would You have me to do?”

A Good Helping of Famous Amos Cookies

A Good Helping of Famous Amos Cookies

During my collegiate years, I heard a sermon in which the preacher loved chocolate chip cookies.  Actually, he assured the listening congregation there would be chocolate chip cookies in heaven.  His lack of theological orthodoxy greatly offended one of my contemporaries as the preacher mentioned this forthcoming celestial delight a few times during his homiletical discourse.  Perhaps guilty of sophistry, I relished the idea because chocolate chip cookies happen to be one of my most favorite treats.  The founder of Famous Amos Cookies, Wally offers us a good helping of spiritual chocolate chip cookies as he shares hard earned lessons in starting, securing and succeeding in business.

Many people spend inordinate amounts of time and energy attempting to eliminate or neutralize their weaknesses.  They assume the lack of flaws equates with perfection.  It stands to reason that a person without limitations can achieve and excel at anything.  However, recent research trends in business, intrapersonal and organizational systems stipulate this approach is a colossal waste of time.  Rather than eradicating weaknesses, a person gains mostly by building upon strengths.  Wally “Famous” Amos reflects, I learned that I should have spent more time doing what I was good at – marketing and promoting and glad-handing – rather than trying to do all the things I wasn’t good at.  Trying to turn deficiencies into assets consumes twice the time and energy required to expand upon talent or passion.  It drains creativity and laughter from you when you focus upon tasks you simply do not enjoy.  Inevitably, your mind wanders as you wish you were elsewhere.  Amos learned after repeated trials and errors to delegate tasks that are not his strengths.

Work from your strengths instead of spending huge chunks of time compensating for your weaknesses.  Assets emerge naturally from self-evaluation.  It is important to know specifically your talents and abilities.  This knowledge in turn yields self-acceptance and self-confidence which enable you to trust your intuition.  These attributes fuel your ability to complete a task without questioning your wherewithal.  You maximize your potential when you concentrate upon your forte.  Amos says Another thing I’ve learned from my mistakes is that it’s important to work from your strengths.  Focus your time and energy on the things you do best.  Leave the rest to the other members of the team.

He learned to embrace mistakes as they yield better outcomes.  Most people shun mistakes; gloss over them; and refuse to admit them.  In contrast, Amos characterizes mistakes as the necessary pathway to success.  An old adage posits, “Show me a man who have never made a mistake and I will show you a man who has never attempted anything meaningful.”  Amos learned to welcome mistakes as building blocks of dreams.  When all is said and done, mistakes are the process through which we in turn create success.  Mistakes create the foundation for our life.

In addition to Amos’ wisdom, I recommend Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton’s book, Now, Discover Your Strengths which formalizes Amos’ experiential lessons as their primary premise.  An online test accompanies the book.  Requiring forty-five minutes of uninterrupted time, this socially scientific and methodologically respectable test delineates your five fundamental strengths.  The book defines thirty-four predominant strengths.  Buckingham and Clifton argue that a strength is a talent or skill you perform well consistently over a long period of time.  Winning one competitive swum meet does not make an Olympian of you.  Coordinating one great dinner party does not mean you are a professional events planner.  Writing one bestselling book does not mean you should quit your job and become a fulltime writer.  Rather, if you possess internal ability and self-discipline to perform a task to a superlative degree consistently, then you have a strength.  Additionally, Buckingham and Clifton insist that strengths are hardwired within us.  They do not fluctuate like fleeting thoughts and illusions of grandeur.  Amos’ experience wisely instructs us to invest in developing our strengths as they definitely comprise our characters.

Arguably, mistakes are the very best teachers in life.  However, you can minimize them as you focus upon your strengths.  Famous Amos’ sage advice also prevents you from becoming a jack of all trades and a master of none as you learn to focus upon what you do best.  

"Finding Authentic Happiness in Life"

“Finding Authentic Happiness in Life”

How do you find authentic happiness in life?  Lynn Peters suggests perpetual gratefulness for people, relationships and activities that enrich your daily life is the best means of finding happiness.  She discourages the idea that happiness occurs when the circumstances of your life coalesce harmoniously thereby eliminating adversities and misfortunes.  Instead, Peters recommends “stop wishing for what we don’t have and start enjoying what we do have.”  Happiness is a choice.  This moment, you can begin to be happy for the rest of your life.  In Peters own words, happiness isn’t about what happens to us – it’s about how we perceive what happens to us.  It’s the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge. If we can just stop wishing for what we don’t have, and start enjoying what we do have, our lives can be richer, more fulfilled – and happier.  The time to be happy is now.

Far too often, we determine whether we are happy in relation to our current situation.  With a stack of unpaid bills, ambiguity in parenting, and monotony in marriage due to household administration, how could a person be happy?    Peters ironically contends such a person can be exquisitely happy!  Whether he is or is not depends significantly upon how he perceives those circumstances.  If he perceives the proverbial glass of life is half empty, he remains unhappy as he focuses upon what he lacks.  In stark contrast, if he views his challenges as means of spiritual progress and personal growth, he offers thanksgiving and utilizes them to further his objectives.  He rejoices over these challenges as he knows they ultimately create even greater happiness.

More specifically, Peters recommends developing “the knack of finding a positive for every negative and viewing a setback as a challenge.”  The art of accentuating the positive and discarding the negative necessitates faithful practice.  As a child of the six and eleven o’clock news which operate with a cardinal principle, “If it bleeds, it leads,” I easily see tragedy, destruction and death on any day.  The news begins with rape, robbery, accidents and murder.  “Breaking news” interrupts people’s daily affairs to inform them of crimes in progress and other negative events.  Some people are so prepared to respond to misfortune that they do not know how to handle positive events.  It requires painstaking practice in redirecting your focus.  Peters encourages you to find a golden nugget embedded in the rubble of each unfortunate experience. 

Setbacks occur perhaps providentially to test the level of our commitment.  Do we deeply desire our heartfelt dreams as much as we suggest?  Conceivably, setbacks are God’s ways of testing our hearts to ascertain whether we have requisite faithfulness and perseverance to achieve our goals.  Setbacks equate with pit stops.  They allow a chance to pause and reassess priorities.  Setbacks offer time and space to recalibrate, refocus and refuel.  When we resume our journey, we will be more grateful and joyous as momentary setbacks encourage and empower us to “stagger forward rejoicing.”

Quintessentially, Peters equates immediate happiness with persistent gratitude for our lives as they are.  Resist the temptation to want more for its sake.  Gratitude creates joy and happiness as you appreciate what you have.  Delays for future happiness are futile.  Inability to be grateful for what you have means you will be unable to offer thanksgiving in the future.  Develop daily discipline of being thankful for each day.  

Living with Rudyard Kipling's Immortal "If" - Part One

Living with Rudyard Kipling’s Immortal “If” – Part One

Vividly, I recall my eighth grade English and Language Arts teacher assigning a poem, “If,” by Rudyard Kipling.  It is one of the first poems I understood without having to decode secretly embedded symbolism.  I recited “If” with oratorical and dramatic flair at a church talent show within weeks of my introduction.  These immortal words sustain me in my adult life.  In pledging my beloved fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc., “If” would reemerge as our signature poem and collection of lessons of manliness.  In this column, I offer a few reflections upon salient lines in the poem.

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt but make allowance for their doubting too.  This line challenges the reader to cultivate skills necessary for success.  If you do not believe in yourself, other people will not.  People who achieve lofty goals usually possess inner gravitas and chutzpah to persevere when surrounded by a cacophony of criticism and unfavorable circumstances.  I admire Seattle Seahawks Head Coach, Pete Carroll, whose career exemplifies this attribute.  He paid his proverbial dues as an assistant coach in college programs and the NFL.  In the late 1990s, Carroll finally received his opportunity as a head coach when the New York Jets hired him.  Despite earning a winning season after a consistent decline in performance, the owner of the Jets chose to fire Carroll and hire Rich Kotite recently terminated Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.  Dismissed inexplicably and unjustly, Carroll became the Defensive Coordinator for the San Francisco 49ers.  Within a few seasons, he became Head Coach of the New England Patriots where he would spend four seasons before being dismissed again.  During those years, many people loudly questioned Carroll’s ability to coach in the NFL.  He found inner resolve to trust his intuition.  Carroll earned a couple of playoff berths.  After the Patriots’ owner released him, Carroll sought haven in the collegiate football arena; he assumed the head coaching position at the University of Southern California.  Carroll’s tenure at USC witnessed a national championship.  Though commentators and fans characterized him in superlative terms, he experienced a feeling of incompletion.  After ascending the pinnacle of collegiate football coaching, Carroll returned to the NFL in his current position where he is poised to win a Super Bowl.  Pete Carroll’s determination to trust himself despite adversities creates his potential as one of a select few football coaches to win both a collegiate national championship and a Super Bowl title.

A man considers the doubts of other people though he does not allow them to limit his imagination.  He considers constructive criticism of other people as wise counsel.  Moreover, he seriously evaluates other people’s doubts to cultivate humility and avoid pitfalls of arrogance and “know-it-allism.”  It is reasonable that some truth and helpful advice exists in the doubts of others.  A man utilizes worthwhile feedback to grow personally and develop spiritually.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.  Kipling admonishes his reader to develop self-discipline.  When my son was in grade school, I recited a daily mantra to him as I drove him to school.  “I am a leader and not a follower.  If I cannot lead myself, then I cannot lead anyone else.  I am leader and not a follower.”  Still, I urge him to foster self-direction and focus.  As a sophomore in high school, he is not a follower.  He possesses inner strength to separate from an adolescent pack of immaturity and senseless pranks.  Though some of his peers castigate him for choosing to defy the crowd’s swinish bliss of ignorance; my son listens to his better self. 

On a larger social scale, adult adherents to the world’s five major religions face formidable temptations as secular humanism distorts tenets of these faiths.  One Middle Eastern religion suffers as some adherents manipulate their faith to justify and shield terrorist acts.  Another world religion sanctions the actions of a Middle Eastern government; thereby preventing rational, impartial citizens of the global village from differentiating the two.  Yet another world religion succumbs to furthering manifest destiny, imperialism and excessive consumption of natural resources as an indication of divine favor.  The two other major faiths are susceptible to charges of indifference and inadequacy as they refuse to combat societal and systemic evils that impede individual rights.   Notwithstanding these incapacities which exist in any religious faith, genuine adherents struggle to define authenticity and principled pragmatism while chaos permeates global communities.  How do adherents maintain an intellectually respectable faith as the world spins in social, economic and geopolitical upheaval? 

Kipling asks his readers if they have the ability and willingness to maximize the divine gift of time.  If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds of distance run?  How often do we think we do not have sufficient time to begin or conclude an activity?  As you wait ten or fifteen minutes, would you consider writing an essay, composing a piece of music, sketching a clothing design, offering intercessory prayers, answering email or returning a phone call? You have myriad daily opportunities to transform idle time into “sixty seconds worth of distance run.”  Many people fail to achieve goals because they never acquire time management.  Fortunately, multiple technological gadgets, smart phones, tablets and laptops enable us to apply Kipling’s sage advice.

Living with Rudyard Kipling's Immortal "If" - Part Two

Living with Rudyard Kipling’s Immortal “If” – Part Two

Reputed to be a racist and scorned incessantly by literary critics, Kipling alludes to inherent worth of all people.  If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings nor lose the common touch.  Celebrity, fame and fortune easily deceive a man into believing that laws no longer apply to him.   He assumes extraordinary money and privilege automatically exempts him from limitations of common mortals. Political scandals over the last three decades reflect loss of virtue in several public servants as they ascended great heights of power.  One former U S senator and presidential candidate was caught in the midst of marital infidelity on a boat named Monkey Business; believing his good deeds overshadowed personal and moral indiscretions.  Another politician concluded his position exempted him from scrutiny relating to a personal moral lapse in the hallway of a government building.  Some local, state and federal officials justify their acceptance of bribes as supplemental compensation for public service.  These men and woman no longer see their dealings as criminal, unethical or immoral.

Additionally, many of them no longer care to relate directly with average voters who elect them.  They seek entrance to celebrity circles in Hollywood, Wall Street and television networks.  At athletic events, they sit in boxes rather than average seats.  They dread perennial barbecues, main street parades, football tailgating and other common activities.  Irreversibly, the twenty-first century ushered in the phenomenon of the celebrity preacher who thrives on publicity equal to a blockbuster movie star.  One of these pastors who reached an agreement relating to sexual harassment with several men in his congregation proudly told a reporter, “I’m not some little Baptist preacher dedicating babies and baptizing members.  We deal with the White House here.  I’m on the phone with the Prime Minister of England.”  This man’s notoriety convinced him, though he had become the biggest example of everything he opposed, it did not matter because his good deeds.  Incredulously, he assumes people would disregard his pedophilia and sexual impropriety!  Another celebrity pastor who abandoned his congregation at the height of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, Louisiana, justifies his extravagant lifestyle because of his unrelenting work ethic on behalf of his people.  Summarily, these politicians and preachers discard common touch in exchange for prestige and privilege. 

Nonetheless, Kipling’s words allude to intrinsic worth of all people.  Retaining the common touch necessitates seeing all people as worthy of dignity and respect.  Programmatically, politicians strive to remove systemic barriers preventing each person from actualizing his gifts and natural endowments.  Assuredly, the content of a person’s character not the color of his skin or any other external factor should determine the heights of his achievements.  Pastors have a sacred obligation to encourage and empower congregants with the Word of God and spiritual disciplines in discerning their mission.  Kipling’s adage transcends historical and traditional barriers of race, creed, color, ethnicity, sex, class or any other barrier humankind constructs to devalue and demean individuals.  Whereas each past and contemporary civilization practices stratification, Kipling, though a creature of his historical moment and guilty of racial myopia, challenges humankind to focus upon individuals.

Finally, Kipling cautions readers about “Triumph” and “Disaster” which he characterizes as impostors.  If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same.  All daily experiences have hidden lessons in them.  In triumph, a man is most susceptible to ego inflation.  Easily, he convinces himself that he is the reason for his success.  He fails to see God’s providence and faithfulness.  He further does not appreciate contributions of his circle of relatives and friends whose wise counsel, affirmation and love empowers him toward his dreams.  Inevitably, he overlooks someone who plays a critical role in strengthening his character.  A “most valuable player,” in celebrating triumph of a championship victory, speaks in terms of “we” instead of “I” in explaining the win.  Lessons of humility, graciousness, sportsmanship and other qualities emerge when a man balances triumphs with maturity.

Conversely, a man cannot permit disasters to defeat his spirit and conquer his soul.  Myriad victims of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans on 29 August 2005 and Super Storm Sandy in the greater New York and New Jersey region on 29 October 2012 loss of material possession they owned.  Imagine the emotional and psychological devastation that accompanies such a tragedy.  Disaster of this degree could in turn yields depression and disillusionment.  A man may say starting over is not worthwhile.  However, Kipling’s words offer help and hope as he posits “Disaster” is an impostor.  Embedded in the rubble are enduring and eternal riches.  Survivors of those natural disasters, in sharing their reflections, state they learned the value of life and love for the first time.  Obstacles in restoring their lives eventually became opportunities to live.  They but sought ways to be fully alive in their creativity.  Kipling encourages his readers to find hope in every situation; sometimes disaster opens the door to destiny.

Kipling concludes “If” with the promise of inheriting the Earth and achieving manhood.  If a man willingly embraces unconditional self-acceptance and divine self-expression, a happy, joyous and free life are his personal rewards.  

Are You Feeling Powerless?

Are You Feeling Powerless?

Are you feeling powerless?  If yes, you undoubtedly feel trapped and hopeless within your current circumstances.  The failure to receive acceptable answers to your faithful and fervent prayers to Almighty God for deliverance and resolution compounds your bewilderment.  It is as if your cumulative challenges eclipse God’s presence.  Possibly, you suspect you are wasting time and talent in your current position.  You have very little to show for your hard work and determination.  You accept aspects of your private and personal relationships because you cannot change people but you fiercely disagree with them; acceptance is a pragmatic strategy for lessening conflict in your life. 

Financially, you observe a decline in your credit rating because a tenant refuses to pay; thereby causing you to be late in remitting some invoices.  Adding insult to injury, you bear unnecessary legal and court fees to evict the tenant.  If that were not enough, a thief comes in the middle of the night and saws off the catalytic converters on your sport utility vehicle.  You have to sideline other pressing commitments to deal with your automobile insurance company.  Although they agree to pay the claim, you still bear the deductible expense.  You would apply those funds to something else.  As it relates to your health, you dislike being on medication but realize you need to avoid exacerbating your condition.  Increases in crime and airplane traffic threaten the quality of life in your neighborhood.  Though you write letters of complaints, disproportionately your neighbors appears indifferent to the rising decline in the area.  Do you feel powerless to change any of these situations?

Can it be that Almighty God, contrary to His Word, abandons you to randomness in natural forces and human relationships?  Angrily and cynically, you ask, “What is the purpose in genuinely relying upon God if nothing is going to change?”  Your prayers seem an exercise in futility.  Then, you recall faithful adherence to spiritual disciplines empower you to wait for a favorable outcome. 

As I honor your anger and frustration as I have lived with feelings of powerlessness throughout my life, I ask you to examine the origins of these feelings.   Unmistakably, intractable feelings of powerless stem from your family of origins and formative years.  Were you denied a voice?  Were you told that children are to be seen and not heard?  Was yelling an excessively used form of discipline?  Were you made to cower under the intensity of a booming voice that made you shudder with fear?  In answering yes to any of these questions, you determine fundamental causes of feeling powerlessness.  Humiliating and demeaning treatment stifled your voice.  You were made to feel that you must accept whatever anyone in authority does.  Someone instilled fear of paralyzing proportions within you.  Thus, you could not conceive alternatives to your situation.  Running away did not occur to you.  You did not rebel or sabotage.  Actually, you were told to conform uncritically to your family’s context otherwise you are not a good person.  As a child, you had to live with ineptitude and incapacities of adults in your family. 

As patterns of powerlessness calcified in your developmental setting, an attitude of helplessness emerged.  Do you recall running to your room so that you could cry stinging and burning tears about your hopeless predicament?  Approaching adulthood, you began to demolish this pattern.  However, your sporadic internal work proved insufficient to destroy the pattern.  As a consequence, a seductive and slithering king cobra of fear occasionally rears its head.  Recoiling underneath this formidable threat, you repeat the unfortunate pattern of believing you do not have any choices.

 In the workplace, you repeat this pattern by subjecting yourself to people whose talents and abilities are inferior to yours.  Ironically, someone whose best writing does not equate with your rough draft edits your written work.  Have you worked with bosses whose intelligence and character were far beneath your own?  In romantic relationships, did you allow yourself to be taken hostage because you did not have courage to end the relationship?  What explains your decision to remain in a relationship that undermines your emotional, spiritual and psychological well-being?  How could you allow someone to profess love for you in one moment and wound you with demeaning and profane language in the next minute?  Your pattern of powerlessness convinced you yet again to tolerate unacceptable and disrespectful aspects of a “love” relationship.  Summarily, within your professional and private lives, you fail to understand you right and power to choose to live differently.

You have choices!  You are not helpless, hopeless or powerless!  Today, determine in your mind and heart to live the life you have imagined in the blissful days of youthful naiveté.  You have the right to be happy, joyous and free.  Marianne Williamson posits, “If you think you are wasting your life, chances are; you are.”  You are no longer an emotionally wounded child without options and resources.  Conduct a thorough inventory of your assets and liabilities.  Therein lays the tools and possibilities of a whole new life for you.  Are you willing to embrace this new life and shoulder the responsibility of change and growth?

If you still lack the courage and willingness to live as you deeply desire, then ask Almighty God to help you.  God transforms inadequate willpower into limitless willingness to confront any adversity.  One author posits, “The essence of growth is the courage to change and the willingness to shoulder the responsibility that comes with it.”  God can eradicate your pattern of powerlessness.  Ask Him as you demonstrate genuine reliance and humility.  Prayer, meditation, counseling, journaling and other types of spiritual practices create your power to choose.  God in accordance with Psalm 139:13-16, opens the eyes of your heart to enable you to see yourself as He does.  With a genuine glimpse of your divine character, you no longer recoil in the presence of any human being.  You will not grovel as a child of God you do not have to do so.  God is your Infinite supply, protection and provision.  You need not fear what any human will say or do!  As you daily affirm your divine identity, you decimate fear and self-doubt.  Your new joy and freedom from God fulfill the often quoted dictate of Henry David Thoreau, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; live the life you imagine.”

Focus Plus Discipline Equals Excellence

Focus Plus Discipline Equals Excellence

This basketball season, I have the privilege and challenge of serving as one of the coaches for my son’s CYOB (Catholic Youth Organization Basketball) team.  I never played the game because I mistakenly listened to my siblings and neighbors as they convinced me that athletics were not for me.  “You, you need to stick to the books.  This game and sports are not for you.”  I cannot state the depth of my regret for uncritically accepting that declaration decades ago in our backyard.  Actually, I could outrun every kid in the neighborhood and possessed definite athletic potential.  Because I internalized that comment, I never strove to develop it though I was blessed with many subsequent opportunities.  My son, in contrast, stated at his kindergarten graduation that he would be a basketball player.  The ensuing years between his proclamation and sophomore year in high school witnessed his detailed study of history, players, teams, coaches, and strategies of basketball.  For an adolescent, my son is very knowledgeable about the game.  Additionally, he continuously develops as a player with weekly training sessions, team practices and attendance at multiple summer camps.  Not surprisingly, anything I say about playing basketball whether offense or defense he receives with considerable suspicion.

Regrettably, we lost the first two games of the season.  As a novice coach, I attribute those losses to our failure to play relentless and focused discipline.  If you prevent your opponents from shooting, they will not score.  A zone defense in which players loosely guard their opponents eventually breaks down and allows a ball handler with reasonable skills to shoot and score.  A man-to-man defense works better because it consumes time, prevents shooting and possibly creates turnovers.  This defensive strategy requires substantial physical stamina, mental focus and cerebral discipline.  Basketball players universally lament the necessity of running “suicides” and other “tongue-dropping” drills.  Yet, running builds stamina which enables a player to remain mentally focused though physically tired.  Stamina empowers players to retain cerebral discipline in recalling game plans of stopping opponents from shooting and scoring.  This combination of physical stamina, mental focus and cerebral discipline yields victory.

As my son and I debriefed the second loss, I realized I could apply everything I said to him relating to basketball to pastoral ministry.  In that arena, I face the challenge of remaining focused upon the mission and purpose of ministry.  Most pastors tolerate disparagement and disgruntlement of twenty percent of their congregations at any time.  The composition of that twenty percent of naysayers shifts depending upon the season.  Still, the cacophony of the twenty percent of negative people often drowns out the positive and affirmative voices of the remaining eighty percent.  Being human and susceptible to personalizing unwarranted criticism, pastors often allow negativity of dissatisfied congregants to consume eighty percent of their mental energy and focus.  This human tendency ignores the positive energy and support of the majority of the congregation.  As I acknowledge this incongruity, I equally recognize the need to apply the advice I gave to my son.

I, too, need physical stamina, mental focus and cerebral defense as I forge full speed ahead damning the verbal and relational torpedoes that endeavor to impede my progress.  Fleeting thoughts of revenge easily distract me.  Brief pity parties occur far too often.  Comparing my ministry with colleagues poses another lethal threat to my peace of mind.  Were I to entertain perpetually these thoughts, then I remain “restless, irritable and discontent.”  As a consequence of proverbially “stewing in my own juices,” I mistakenly allow my impatience and resentment to spill into other relationships.  Nevertheless, focus and discipline combine to yield excellence in ministry.

“Discipline is remembering what you want.”  A framed calligraphy printing bearing that inscription hangs on the wall in The Pastor’s Study.  Daily, it reminds me of the necessity of mental adherence to my dreams and goals.  Excellence is attainable if I am able to deflect negative emotional obstacles and stare toward the goal with unrelenting determination.  In games when a basketball team’s opponents possess height, shooting and ball handling advantages, they can win if they impede their opponents’ progress.  To that end, I eliminate the negativity of disgruntled persons by being unyielding in my pursuit of purpose. 

Does God Laughs? - Make Some Plans

Does God Laughs? – Make Some Plans

Have you ever wondered whether God laughs?  The Old Testament vividly and meticulously depicts his wrath.  The Psalter and Prophets constantly appeal to Almighty God to relinquish His righteous anger and spare His chosen people though they rightly deserve His punishment.  What about His sense of humor?  One of my college classmates raised this question during dinner in the dining hall.  Imagine the Lord and Creator of the universe as well as the Maker of heaven and Earth sitting on His throne and laughing.  What would make Him laugh?

Given certain natural phenomena such as the crash landing of a sea gull without being hurt, we deduce that God has a sense of humor.  Biblically speaking, these stories, the Tower of Babel, the prophets of Baal who oppose Elijah on Mt. Carmel, King Nebuchadnezzar’s surprise at God’s deliverance of the three Hebrew boys, King Saul’s schemes to maintain rule over Israel after God rejects him, Mephibosheth’s plot to take the kingdom from King David, Saul who becomes Paul’s individual campaign to eradicate the burgeoning early Church, and the duplicity of Ananias and Sapphira in lying to Peter, probably make God laugh.  Moreover, the second Psalm reveals schemes and shenanigans of the powerful people cause God to laugh.  Any attempts to undermine or ignore God’s authority make Him laugh.

There is a saying, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans.”  On a personal level, we make God laugh every day.  When, we, finite creatures that we are, make elaborate plans and go to God for His acquiescence rather than His approval, God laughs uproariously.  As a parent, you may recall times when you laugh as your children approached you with the “perfect” plan which was not well thought out and in need of your financing.  Similarly, God laughs when we come to Him pretending we have our lives under control but need His orchestration of difficult details.  Does God laugh?  You bet He does!

The opening verses of the second psalm illustrate the designs of the kings of the Earth.  Why do the nations conspire?  What leads people to plot in vain?  The rulers of the Earth collaborate to preserve their wealth and position.  The top “one percent” of wealthy persons control ninety percent of the world money and resources over the globe ignore God and His Anointed One.  They have no need of Him.  Religion is a means of social control lest the masses awaken from their slumber and realize their economic oppression.  Multinational corporations and other economic and military entities strategize within global affairs to protect their interests.  These politically, economically and culturally powerful people genuinely believe they control the affairs of the world.  Accordingly, they disregard Almighty God and His power.  In consequence, He laughs as He knows the exact date and time of their deaths!

In the library at Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana, one Friday afternoon, 1 November 1991, I took out a sheet of paper to write a life plan.  Each decade demarcated successful professional and personal endeavors I would experience.  I aspired to superlative heights in a legal and judicial career.  I would earn two additional degrees.  I would write New York Times bestselling books.   It stood to reason that wealth, celebrity and many other bourgeois accoutrements of success and fame would adorn my perfect and exquisite life.  Arrogantly, I determined that I would live until at least ninety-five years of age.  I wrote the Latin word, Finis, to signify my grand exit from the stage of life.  Assuredly, it would be met with extensive grief by my lifelong loyal fans whose grandiloquent celebrations of my life would last for a month.

Any genuinely spiritual personal realizes in the middle of the previous paragraph that none of the items on that list came to fruition.  I posit my life is far richer and meaningful than it would have been had I achieved those plans.  My relationship with my beloved wife spanning twenty-one years inclusive of nineteen years of marriage was not on the list.  My two wonderful children whom I greatly adore were not on the list.  My spiritual maturity and personal growth which motivates me to serve Almighty God by directly serving other people were not on the list.  Essentially, the principles and people that I hold very dear to my heart and life were not on the list.  I previously saw them as accessories to my very personal and self-centered existence.  As invaluable components to God’s grace, they enable me to live a happy, joyously and free.

I agree with the enduring saying, “If you want to make God laugh, make some plans.”  It is apparent He enjoyed a few wonderful laughs at my expense.  Today, I genuinely rely upon God’s guidance and grace as I enjoy life’s daily complexities, mysteries and joys.  The prophet, Jeremiah says, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; to give you hope and a future.”  (Jeremiah 29:11)  I suggest this verse as a means of making plans and avoiding God’s laughter at your expense. 

Tears of Healing and Joy

Tears of Healing and Joy

Have you ever allowed unacceptable situations in your life to become acceptable?  If you allowed yourself to be taken hostage in a verbally or physically abusive relationship, undoubtedly you shed countless stinging and angry tears of healing and joy.

Have you ever made fear larger than life?  The debilitating fear of losing your first relationship imprisoned you to it.  Can you really be in love with someone who does not respect you?  Are you in a loving relationship if you constantly fear the loss of that relationship?  Constant fighting about who is right and wrong indicates an intractable incompatibility.  The absence of shared core principles equally and powerfully reflects little commonality.  Yet, an inferiority complex compels you to remain in a demeaning relationship.  Your familiarity with symbiotic and relational pathology convinces you it is better to stay and deal with a known entity.  Remaining, in this relational prison, results of making fear larger than life.

Relational hostages shed countless tears in silence. Because they are too ashamed to ask for help, they suffer in isolation.  Their victimizers recognize their humiliation.  These stinging tears of disappointment, anger and heartache emerge naturally when a person allows unacceptable insulting words and hurtful belittling deeds from someone who professes to love while simultaneously wounding his or her soul.  Hostages allow someone who claims to love them say, “F you” in one breath and then “I love you” in the next moment!  They wait for this particular scene to end; they contemplate leaving until fear erupts like a volcano.  Whether reading alone late into the night or lying awake in bed, relational hostages weep salty and stinging tears.

Wherein lies a relational hostage’s perpetual willingness to tolerate unacceptable behavior from a significant other?  Though they know they deserve better, these hostages do not believe it emotionally.  They suffer substantially with entrenched patterns of self-centered fear and self-denigrating behavior.  Their victimizers capitalize on their hostages self-sabotaging patterns.  Quite possibly, hostages grew up in an impoverished environment which lacked love, affirmation, consideration and encouragement in addition to money and material resources.  Thus, hostages are so grateful when anyone does something nice for them.  In very plain terms, hostages allow victimizers to give them a sip of water when the victimizer demands a glass of water.  Recognizing tenacious patterns wherein the hostage lacks self-dignity and self-respect is the first step toward a new life and a new freedom.

Ironically, when hostages witness this behavior in other couples, they begin to break loose from their imprisonment.  As hostages share with someone else their regrettable circumstances, they slowly but surely start the long and arduous process of shattering chains that previously imprisoned them.  Hostages cry tear of joy and emancipation.

Relational hostages face the challenge of forgiving themselves for allowing the abuse they suffer.  Why was I not stronger and braver?  How could I have permitted those things to be said and done to me?  Why did not the other person love me enough to treat me with the same respect and kindness I gave?  I hope he or she feels the same pain and humiliation I endured!  As hostages share their story of survival, they shed even more tears of healing and joy.  Having persevered through their ordeal and progressed toward a new life, hostages experience cleansing tears as they reflect upon divine favor and genuine human love of family and friends.  This process of self-discovery commences a new journey of unimaginable joys, mysteries and experiences.  Finally, they see internally what people who truly love them have seen for years.  Moreover, hostages now realize they deserve the love they have always wanted.  They find inner gravitas and chutzpah to demand it from the Universe and from anyone who claims to love them.  Most definitely, they no longer tolerate unacceptable words and deeds.  However, they must forgive themselves to embrace a whole new life.

As a consequence of self-forgiveness, hostages additionally forgive their victimizers.  Emotions dissipate and greater distance in time and geography separate hostages from their demeaning relationships.  They eventually accept the brokenness of their victimizers.  Perpetrators of verbal and emotional abuse struggle with issues of self-worth and self-respect.  Regrettably, they seek to bolster their self-esteem at the expense of other people.  They need a hostage to feel self-respect.  Interestingly, they do to others what they previously suffered.  Acknowledging the humanity and inclination toward self-centered behavior of victimizers is a fundamental step in the holistic process of healing.

Hostages heal as they experience greater self-acceptance and unapologetic self-expression.  They learn that they deserve.  They practice self-care as they have a very personal relationship with self.  They enjoy movies, dinner, shopping, walks and museums in solitude.  As they embrace a new life, hostages inevitably shed tears of healing and joy.