Is Your Shadow Overpowering Your Personality? - Part Two

Is Your Shadow Overpowering Your Personality? – Part Two

And if there is no doorstep for him to stumble over, he manufactures one for himself and then fondly believes he has done something useful.”  This man guards against melodrama and sentimentality.  Extreme emotions fuel his destructive patterns.  As he is easily offended and disrespected, he must develop mental and psychological mechanisms of sifting truth out of any experience. He expects the worst in any situation.  Internally, he expects people to demonstrate his correctness in suspecting they are not trustworthy.  This man inadvertently feels uncomfortable in any calm situation.  Laughter alarms him as he always feels it occurs at his personal expense.  In isolation, he applauds himself for taking the high road. 

Will the person who Jung describes ever examine his ineffective pattern?  Will he understand that he is the least common denominator in his failing relationships?  That fact necessarily demands his searching analysis of the origins and continuance of his inability to foster mutually respectable relationships with people.  What compels him to undermine himself silently and unconsciously?  Does fear of rejection lead him to erstwhile reject other people through arrogance and other off-putting behaviors before they have an opportunity to reject him?  Conceivably, he experienced a primary rejection early in his life.  The zigzagging as he heals this psychological injury compels him to initiate relationships only to sabotage them.  An autopsy of each failed relationship possibly provides insight as he seeks success in fostering future rapports.

As a pathologist examines any disease that eventuates in death, this self-deceived man similarly analyzes each contributing factor to his failed relationships.  His anger is an acceptable response to the least offense.  Dirty dishes left unintentionally by an immature teenager receive the same fury as the refusal of a deceitful tenant who refuses to pay his rent.  He finds rudeness and demeaning behavior when no one intends it.  Resentment foments as he replays offenses and contemplates revenge.  Though he professes sympathy toward others, he concludes his pain surpasses theirs.  Therefore, has they experienced similar trauma in their formative years, they should overlook his incapacities.  As this man does not think anyone grants him the benefit of the doubt, he does not understand requests for forbearance.

Because this man believes the persons who hurt him are fugitives who evaded punishment, he forcefully demands strict adherence to rules and regulations.  Have we made certain they apply fairly and justly to everyone?  Quite possibly, several other factors explain this man’s regrettable pattern of devaluing himself and destroying relationships.  Yet, anger and unresolved hurt combine mightily to prevent his professional success and joy in his private life.      `

When assuming a new job, will this man honor the historical contributions of the persons who preceded him?  Instead, his passion to excel leads to a “new sheriff in town” mentality which distances people as they conclude he devalues them.  Before he arrived, they worked hard and achieved in accordance with their abilities and commitment.  If he forges ahead with magnanimous ideas and grand goals, he appears indifferent to any accomplishments that predate him.  His fellow employees do not realize his anxiety to prove his worth.  Albeit most admirable, his intentions recede to the background of his unbridled zeal.  Additionally, does he possess humility to remain silent and observe the new culture before making incomplete judgments?  Charging ahead no matter how well intended like a bull in a China shop does little to win friends and positively influence people.  At this juncture, this man can contribute most with a genuine willingness to learn.  He will experience successes that heretofore eluded him.

Essentially, this man needs greater self-acceptance and acquiring divine self-expression.  This spiritual attribute enables him to grind the concrete of his self-sabotaging patterns into dust.  He can break the vicious cycle of failed relationships as he willingly unlearns his previous ways of handling people.  He opens himself to receive divine help.  Introspection eliminates his failing patterns.  Further reflection helps this man see how invested he is in preserving his patterns.  Can he live without them?  Will he really let go of them?  If he does, who is he?  How will he live without relying upon those behavioral patterns?  With what will he replace his venom?  If he no longer enjoys the entitlement of a victim, who is he?  Reflection upon the past encourages and empowers him as he steadfastly progresses toward a new future.  Rather than being emotional and psychological quicksand, the past is a yardstick that measures his progress.  Continual practice of spiritual disciplines culminates in an awakening to new life.  When he least expects it, this man rises at dawn on an average day and realize he is the recipient of a divine miracle.  Peace of mind fills his heart.  Self-acceptance and divine self-expression fill his soul.  Alas, his shadow recedes to the background and ceases impeding him from seeing the light of a new day!