Finding True
Ambition
On
a typical fall Friday, the first of November in 1991, I concluded a recruitment
visit to Earlham College in Richmond, Indiana with a few hours of reading and
reflection in the library. An incredible
thought spontaneously occurred to me during a break from reading. I pulled out a piece of paper from a legal
pad and a pen began to write a plan for the rest of my life. I detailed every major ambition I would
pursue. I listed additional degrees,
prominent professional positions and other admirable successes. I made the list according to future
decades. I was even bold enough to
finish the list with the year of my death; using the Latin word, finis, as a formal acknowledgement of a
live filled with formidable ambition and considerable success.
As
I write twenty-three years after this act of self-indulgent meditation, I am
learning what “true ambition” is. My
collegiate years, 1983 to 1987, witnessed increasing economic prosperity for
the United States. Narcissism permeated
popular culture as television shows such as Dallas,
Dynasty and L A Law glorified personal achievement regardless of any moral
dilemmas or ethical challenges. During the
late eighties and early nineties, more students applied to law school than at
any other time in American history. Obtaining a law degree and a partnership in a
blue chip law firm was seen a direct route to wealth and security. Additionally, the late historian, Christopher
Lash’s, book, The Culture of Narcissism:
American Life in An Age of Diminishing Expectations, gained prominence
because of its relevance to the current social trends. Professors complained incessantly of the
decline of collegians entering teaching, social work, ministry and other services
professions. Not surprisingly, my foregoing
list of ambitions emerged from this collegiate and social context. I now realize that I really knew very little
about “true ambition.”
“True
ambition is a deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of
God.” This author’s definition is the
best one I have read. As I enter the
afternoon of my life, I accept Carl Jung’s principles and Marianne Williamson’s
variation on the idea that the “truths” with which a person lives in the
morning of his life do not suffice in the afternoon. As a consequence, I no longer pursue any of
the dreams and goals I wrote down on that autumn day in 1991. Actually, none of them materialized in the
mysterious and humorous will of Almighty God.
Despite the pain of receiving many rejections letters relating to
education employment and experiencing other personal defeats, I am most
grateful for those results. In my young
adulthood, I suffered from substantial myopia as my dogged pursuit of my
personal ambitions blinded me to the enduring riches of life. None of the people and things I hold dearest
in my heart was on that list. I
arrogantly presumed a longstanding, vibrant and loving marriage was an
accessory to a successful and prosperous life.
Equally, I took my two healthy, talented, multi-gifted and loving
children for granted. Viewed further, my
1991 list did not include anything about serving God through meeting the
practical and embodied needs of humankind.
Today, I understand ambition as a heartfelt and purposeful intention to
encourage and empower people in service to God.
Lasting
contributions and legacies are left in the hearts and minds of people. Time erodes self-aggrandizing legacies
chiseled in stones, engraved on plaques and carved in monuments. The previous definition suggests genuine
ambition unfolds when a person seeks to serve from the depths of his heart. Consider a burning passion within your heart
that wishes to redress longstanding and thorough human pain. In the words of Rabbi Harold Kushner, author
of the bestselling book, When Bad Things
Happen to Good People, renounce your ego in order that God may use
you. Equally, relinquish any lingering notions
that you only have time, treasure and talent to pursue your own ends. In great distinction, we can accomplish so
much more by investing in children and youth.
Two of my former history teachers, who I venerate for their
intelligence, dedication to teaching, excellence in scholarship and commitment
to their students development, answered the call to teach as a means of
influencing future generations as they held an ambition to create a more just
and equitable society through their students.
Essentially,
service to God in meeting any embodied needs of humanity is true ambition.
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