Is Your Shadow
Overpowering Your Personality?
Part One
Are
you sabotaging yourself in professional and private relationships? Do you find yourself in repeated conflicts
with people though you strive to live in peace with everyone? Are you always fighting with someone though
you resigned from the debating society?
Despite lengthy stretches of spiritual growth and personal development,
have you made little headway in professional personal relationships? Undoubtedly, you empathize with Charlie Brown
as being perpetually misunderstood, misinterpreted and misquoted. Long before the tremendously empowering
revelations relating to the “Law of Attraction” detailed in The Secret, analytical and depth
psychologist, Carl G. Jung describes this dimension of a person’s character as
his shadow. Where self-contempt,
self-loathing and self-sabotage lurk incessantly, the shadow overpowers better
aspects of the personality. Intensity dominates
good intentions and people observe arrogance instead of compassion. A genuine desire to offer one’s very best
morphs into perfectionism. Reliable
punctuality makes other people feel as if you are judging them. The sum of these experiences is broken and
ineffective relationships.
In
Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious,
Jung posits, “A man who is possessed by
his own shadow is always standing in his own light and falling into his own
traps. Wherever possible, he prefers to
make an unfavorable impression on others.
In the long run, luck is always against him, because he is living below
his own level and at best only attains what does not suit him. And if there is no doorstep for him to
stumble over, he manufactures one for himself and then fondly believes he has
done something useful.”
Jung
describes this unfortunate man as standing in his own light. Hubris, unresolved past pain and immaturity
block his ability to see his self-sabotaging behavior. He is someone with a victim’s complex who
believes everyone conspires against him.
His cynicism immediately creates conflict with anyone he meets as he
does not believe a person will like him.
Rather than seeking a common ground, he begins by pointing out their
differences. Blinded by his shadow, the
man Jung describes fails to appreciate his pattern of alienating people with
his superior attitude as he convinces himself that his positions are more
rational and researched. Lacking self
reflection, this man does not see pattern and cannot appreciate its perpetuation. Hence, he continues “falling into his own
traps.”
Whenever
possible, he prefers to make an unfavorable impression on others. This man’s arrogance undergirded by his
victim’s complex compels a negative impression upon people. Instead of seeking ways of making new people comfortable
in his presence, he immediately articulates their differences. Most persons encountering this volcanic
intensity make mental notes to avoid this man.
Other people prepare to undermine him as they believe they must
proactively defend themselves. Still,
others, while impressed initially by his intelligence and abilities, reason he
is immature as he fails to analyze his new setting. Seeking to demonstrate he is an asset, this
man actually makes himself a liability as none of the persons whom he meets
leaves with a favorable impression. Ironically,
he leaves them with a very negative reaction as someone to watch, sabotage or
terminate at an appropriate time.
Whereas he wants people to notice and value him, he motivates them to
remove him.
The
proverbial chip on his shoulder, “The world is against me. Everyone overlooks and devalues me,” coerces
this poor soul to alienate people. They
feel compelled to knock this chip off his shoulder. His zealous ambition greatly disturbs everyone
he encounters as they feel he believes he is superior to them. Suffering from spiritual and psychological
myopia, this man cannot break this pattern.
Maintaining, he reaps its disastrous consequences with each person he encounters. By the grace of Almighty God, his eyes open
as he studies his professional and personal life. He soberly accepts he lacks rapports that
would enable him to advance professionally.
He hardly maintains any contacts with anyone with whom he worked
previously. None of his past employers
would rehire him. Bridges were destroyed
and burned each time he left a place of employ.
Personally, his circle of friends and intimates is rather small. In a very emotionally and psychologically
twisted way, as he makes a bad impression, he protects himself against any
further hurt. He lives a self-fulfilling
prophecy yielding the disastrous results he seeks to avoid.
In the long run,
luck is always against him, because he is living below his own level and at
best only attains what does not suit him.
Hopefully, his propensity toward self-sabotage as a means of
self-protection further assists this man in seeing luck and life will turn
continually against him. Unless he
reverses this regrettable trend, he will live beneath his talent and
potential. He will migrate from one dead-end
job to another. Financially, his
standard of living will be stagnant. His
family suffers accordingly as he fails to earn the lifestyle they deserve. Depression and similar emotions prevent his
enjoyment of peace of mind. Try as hard
as he may, he cannot convince himself otherwise. While he marvels at the contents in his
spiritual tool box, he remains bewildered at his incapacities. Why do success and prosperity continuously
elude him? This question possesses
theological overtones as he contemplates the reasons for which God allows this
stagnation in his life. Why does he
observe the bounty and prosperity of lesser talented people? Realizing he is living beneath his potential,
how will this man interdependently collaborate with God to liberate himself
from his self-sabotaging behavior?
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