“Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (Ephesians 3:20 – King James Version) My genuine hope and primary purpose for the Ephesians 3:20 Faith Encouragement and Empowerment Blog is to assist all people of faith, regardless of your prism of experience, to grow spiritually toward unconditional self-acceptance and develop personally acquiring progressive integrity of belief and lifestyle. I pray you will discover your unique purpose in life. I further pray love, joy, peace, happiness and unreserved self-acceptance will be your constant companions. Practically speaking, this blog will help you see the proverbial glass in life as always half full rather than half empty. I desire you become an eternal optimist who truly believes that Almighty God can do anything that you ask or imagine.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Four Funny Stories for Speeches, Toasts and Emceeing

Four Funny Stories for Speeches, Toasts and Emceeing


Story One – “Maybe, He Should’ve Put It in the Basement.”  A rich man who really loved money once told his wife, “Honey, when I die I am taking my money with me.  I have left a large bag of money in the attic.  As the last thing I do just before I ascend with the angels, I will reach down and grab that bag.”  He locked the door to attic and strictly forbade anyone in his household from entering it.  The fateful day came when his funeral was held at the local church.  After all the guests left the house upon finishing the memorial meal, his wife decided to look in the attic.  She retrieved the key, opened the door and climbed the stairs.  There, she found the large bag of money.  Then, she said to herself, “Maybe, he should have put it in the basement.”

Story Two – “Who Pushed Me?”  In a rustic town in the Mid-West, a wealthy man owned a large estate that rivaled the Feudal houses of the landed gentry.  On the estate, he built a large pond which he filled with alligators, barracudas and crocodiles.  Near the pond, he hung a sign agreeing to pay instantly one millionaire dollars in cash to anyone who could successfully swim from one end of the pond to the other.  One evening, he held a dinner party in which he invited the political, social and cultural elite from the neighboring vicinity.  Surprisingly, in the middle of the party to everyone’s amazement, they witnessed a brother swimming fast and furiously as he evades snapping jaws of alligators, stealth of crocodiles and steely attacks of barracudas.  Shockingly but successfully, he arrives safely on the other side of the pond.  The owner of the estate stops the party to present his guest with the prize money.  Afterwards, the owner asks the brother does he wish to say anything.  He catches his breath and says rather angrily, “All I want to know is who pushed me?”

Story Three – “Do You Get the Point?”   Once, a local church pastor sought to demonstrate the dangers of drinking to his congregation.  He placed two large containers of clear liquids on the altar.  In the one on the left side, he had poured natural, pure spring water.  The one on the right contained top quality vodka.  He dropped a worm in the left container and it began to swim freely and joyously.  After a couple of minutes, he put a second worm in the right container and it immediately died.  The pastor then asked the congregants, “Do you get the point?”  Known to be an excessive drinker, a congregant in the back raised his hand, stood up and said, “Brother Pastor, I get the point.”  The pastor responded delightfully and urged that man to share the point with his fellow congregants.  The man said, “If you drink, you won’t get worms!”

Story Four – “The Butt Naked Truth”  The story is told of an encounter between “Mr. Truth” and “Mr. Lie.”  One day, they bump into each other as they decide separately to take a stroll.  Mr. Truth dresses impeccably with fine, rich and refined designer clothes made from the very best fabrics, threads, and craftsmanship.  Seeking to emulate if not surpass his counterpart, Mr. Lie wears synthetic and artificial versions of Mr. Truth’s clothing which he secretly and greatly admires.  In fact, Mr. Lie actually envies Mr. Truth and his clothing.  As they walk along, they come upon a pond of clear and glistening spring water accentuated with a waterfall.  Mr. Lie suggests they stop and take a skinny dip to escape the heat and relax in the beautiful weather.  Mr. Truth agrees.  They undress and leave their clothes on the side of the pond.  Unbeknownst to him, as Mr. Truth dips deeply under water and returns to the surface in the middle of the pond, he discovers that Mr. Lie fled and stole Mr. Truth’s clothes.  Furious with disdain, Mr. Truth rushes to the pond’s edge, jumps out and runs after Mr. Lie.  Later in the afternoon just before sundown, the neighboring town of Sleepy Hollow experiences the biggest commotion the residents have ever seen.  On the far end of town at the Drowsy Saloon above the fray of loud conversation, games and drinking, bar goers heard a mighty ruckus.  The butt naked truth came in town screaming and demanding his clothes!


In parabolic genre of the Gospels, each of these stories contains moral and ethical lessons.  I wish you imagination, creativity and spiritual insight as you meditate upon these anonymous stories and glean gems of wisdom.

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